July 5, 2009

twisty turned and a few cobwebs...

has a way of throwing things at us 
that can make us crouch and cringe and question our skills
normally I have my glove in just the right position
to play this game
not so much right now
my son is doing everything he can to make me
feel as twisted and directionless
as the wire above
sending me and my emotions running around like a wild animal in the outfield
the experts say that living with and parenting a teenager is the ultimate test
of your child rearing years
they never told me there would be days where every ounce of my soul
would be sucked out of me
stomped on with both feet
then left out in the sun until the edges dry up and blow off into the wind
so today
I start all over again
trying to get my heart and my mind 
out of the dugout where it's been sulking a bit
get back on deck to bat
that's what moms do 
that's how moms play the game
thanks to all of you for following me over to my "new little space" that I'm playing in
where georgia
asked if there was going to be a theme for my new playground 
I need a theme
if you have any ideas 
throw them my way
I would love to see what all of you might be thinking


  1. i have absolutely no doubt that you are already running half round the pitch going in for a home run. keep going. from the sideline i am cheering and the scoreboard looks fantastic and completely in your favour.

  2. i'm so sorry, dear.

    i can not begin to understand, as i do not have children. but know that i am in the stands watching and rooting for you! you will win the series! i know it!


  3. Umm, yeah, I get this. For some reason, I really really get this. Perhaps because I'd really like to like my step-daughter and not just 'love' her because she is an important part of My Beloved.

    I'd like to admire her. I'd like to like her as a woman, a friend. And, I don't. Can't. She makes it too hard and lives her life counter to everything I hold sacrosanct. So, I get this...

    And, DAMN, I wish we could sit together in the summer afternoon and share war stories...hold each other's hand. Sigh a lot... Have a few drinks. And toast to us being willing to go back in for another round in the ring.

    I have an idea...why don't you use this site as a means of showing us how your photography relates to the world and so, us.

    Use the new one to show how your images relate to your life and how you're pesonally feeling about it, things, you, a more intimate view, perhaps? Another view of this woman that some of us are beginning to love as much as we love say, Audrey Hepburn???

    I love you in your trials to be the right voice of reason for your son who doesn't get it right now.

  4. Keep the love and support around you as much as you can...you are already doing the best job you can, I think, examining things, taking a step back when you have too, venting your frustrations to others who care, and gearing yourself up to face the battle for another day...does suck that it has to be a battle, doesn't it ?
    You are a good mother, beth , you are there !

  5. well, a wise person told me that you can't hit a homerun with your foot on homebase - so keep swinging and catching (did you know babe ruth strike out as often as he hit a homerun?). children are never easy (i'm assured that by many friends). one woman told me to shake hands with your child at 13 and tell them you will be friends again around 22.

    wish i could hug you right now.

  6. Beth I am sorry for your battles rght now...you will overcome...It is frustrating and remember the older the kids get the smarter they will realize their parents are, it always makes my day coming to see your photos. You have a great eye and I am sure you do with your son too. Be strong, take care, cinner

  7. I've totally been there - it was exhausting. They do grow both in skill and wisdom - yay for adulthood!

  8. beth I am on the same "team " as you...the teenage innings are rough ones for sure...you can handle it no doubt

  9. AnonymousJuly 05, 2009

    wouldn't you like to just be able to holler - "three strikes ~ you're out" and they'd go sit on the bench and think about how they're gonna do better next time. *sigh*
    our fourth of july story:
    10:30 pm ~ at the lake
    Brad: Have you seen Ryan and Eli?
    Me: Um. Are they in the bedroom?
    Brad: (upon returning) They're nowhere to be found.
    11:00 pm
    Brad: I'm going to drive around to look for them.
    Me: Where the hell could they have gone? (and some other cursing)
    Me ~ standing on porch peering into the darkness
    Brad: I can't find them. I'll drive down to the beach.
    A voice from the darkness: Hi, Mom.
    Me: Eli, go inside, I need to talk to Ryan. Where have you been?
    Ryan: We decided to try to walk to the North Dock, since you wouldn't let us go. We got to the highway (an unlit, rural highway ~ speed limit 65) and decided we wouldn't make it and came home, but got lost.
    Me:(looking at his feet ~ he's wearing FLIP FLOPS!)What part of no did you not understand?

    {end of the bottom of the 4th - no runs scored on either side}

  10. AnonymousJuly 05, 2009

    Beth, you play the game better than most of us. Matter of fact, you are the GAME-MASTER. However, I do find my heart patting your heart, saying: "there, there..., this too shall pass." It's hard having perfect children when they discover their voice and want to test it. I discovered that this year with Ali; I am still reeling, rocking and recovering. Love you, shell xoxoxoxoxox

  11. You know what, our son is half way to 10 yrs. old and has recently begun testing our nerves when he doesn't get his way. And he's only 9 and a half! I don't want to imagine the teen years!?! But hang in there. Not all teenagers are terrible. And, often, they grow out of it as I'm sure you know. The key is to remain calm and level headed. I hope you are well and keeping your chin up. :)

  12. No ideas on the theme. As to the other? Well, I know you, Beth. By the time you read this, you'll already be back in the game, suited up and ready to go.

  13. I don't know what to say, except that I'm a year or two ahead of you with my son and it looks like we made it. I'm trying to remember what I would have wanted to hear in the soul-sucking thick of it and I don't think there were words to make it better--stay calm and consistent and trust yourself. Hugs to you.

  14. Hi Beth,

    Why not give your darling son a bop on the nose??!!

    That could be your new theme - boxing tactics!

  15. AnonymousJuly 06, 2009

    as i haed in with two teens the phrase "just breathe" means a lot to me...hang in there! kt

  16. Unfortuantely it's a kids job to guilt parents into action :-(

    that sounds awful I know and I hope things fall into a better space for you soon.

    take care

  17. I know just what you are talking about. With all the trouble my son and us have lately, we just make a new start every week. He seems to fail every week in some way, but we still start out the next week as a clean slate hoping that one day he will stand tall and succeed. We are thankful when there is success for just one day out of the week.

    Teens must be here to test us out and see if we really know the meaning of "unconditional" love.

  18. Hang in there with "the kid." We've been through that, too -- twice, but once far more challenging than the other. It's surprisingly sunny on the other end -- but it took getting out of high school, getting away and coming home to for him to realize it (and for us to be able to enjoy him again!) This, too, will pass. Just keep saying that and loving him.


**I love reading the comments you leave, as they make me feel like we're sitting in my kitchen, having a cup of tea, discussing life and wondering where all the time has gone ...beth