April 30, 2009


I want to fly away into the soft blue sky for a day or two
come back only when I'm ready
I want to spin around in circles fast enough to dislodge all those bad thoughts that for whatever reason
want to live in my mind
in order to make room for all the good ones trying to visit
I want to hang upside down so I can see the world with a new set of eyes
while laughing until my stomach hurts
then fall to the ground and do it all over again
sometimes when there's a chill in the air
I just want to wrap myself up
sit and wonder
appreciate the life that I'm living
while telling myself
"you're okay"
{these are some of the other photos from the impromptu photo shoot I did in the park...remember the post of wanting to be six years old again...yep, that one...anyhow, recently on shutter sisters there was a discussion about "what's your style" and I hated that I didn't have one....I mean who doesn't want to have "a style" right ?
I love to shoot people, nature, houses...it doesn't really matter as I like a little bit of everything for right now...BUT it was pointed out to me by one of my most favorite people in the world that I make my photos soft in the middle and blurry around the edges and I was like...
"that's it...she's right...that's my style"
then I kissed my daughter and thanked her for noticing}

April 29, 2009

I know I know I know...

it's spc wednesday
my creativity level sank this week
even though
the comments about my photos last week
kept me floating on air for days and days
"thank you"
for the kind and wonderful words you showered me with
so this week
with the self timer not on and my camera in it's bag
I went through my archives and found this picture
which I'm sure I've used before
completely shows an emotion I wanted to share
this is me at the beach
in my favorite spot
with a cold wave washing up my back
I'm happy
more than happy
something exactly like that
like a handful of wild flowers
go ahead
pick one for yourself
have a wednesday filled with just a little bit more happiness than you had intended
{and yes...of course...I did a little processing/editing on my photo}

April 27, 2009

discovering my photography limitations...

sometimes when the subject in front of me
is amazingly beautiful
doesn't feel threatened
when I gently and slowly walk closer
carrying my jaw that wants to keep falling on the ground
because that's what happens to me when I'm completely in awe of something
I freeze and my heart stops
my ability to focus and be the photographer I want to be
gets all tangled up in just wanting to live in the moment
I have to take a deep breath with my shoulders back
breathe out and release the tightened muscles in my neck
try once again to bring the camera up to my face so that maybe this time I can focus with my eyes
instead of my heart
{these sandhill cranes literally take my breath away when I see them at the pond...in these shots I am only about 15 feet away from them and they're as tall as I am. this is the female, as the male stands still and off to the side whenever I get close, in a protective mode, and just watches me while he lets her walk around and eat}

April 26, 2009

I'll have what she's having...

she sat motionless
mesmerized by the grey rain
slowly she reached out with just the tip of the pen she held in her hand
to trace the lines of the dancing drops
as they fell slowly down the window pane
with the music playing for her ears only
her head filled with thoughts of the future
her heart held tight to the memories of the past
she was feeling vulnerable for some reason
wondering why the lyrics sung by martina mcbride
"hold on tight to what you feel inside"
wouldn't leave her mind
gently she reached up to touch her memory filled heart
{that just recently had started to feel like it might burst at the seams}
searched for any extra room that might still be there
when the memories confirmed they weren't going anywhere
she thought to herself
"how do we ever decide what we keep in our hearts and what we don't?"
that was the day she decided she was going to start being
a whole lot more picky
in case you're wondering, I often wake up in the morning with words and thoughts like these pouring out of me...usually if i have a watched a movie right before bed. the other night we
watched "yes man" and even though it's not going to win any awards, it delivered a message that obviously stayed with me.

April 25, 2009

I'm just trying to catch my breath...

out of the hundreds I've taken
in the cottage woods
this one took it away

April 24, 2009

who are you and what did you do with beth ?

she's the girl who likes to process all her photos before she posts them

talks about that editing crap all the time

I'm right here
proud to be a member
{at least at the moment}
that's right
straight out of the camera
here's something totally cool
on that flower photo above
can you see the green bug
that is SO one of the little things that makes me smile for hours

this shot, like the last one
with my camera on the ground and no expectations
and the photos
only to be looked at once I get home
~pure love and happiness~
try it sometime
I promise you'll love it and you'll start shooting all the time from ankle level
just so you know what's been going on in this head of mine
actually plan on starting something soon called
ankle biters
a simple blogging group or a day of the week or a flickr group
so please stay tuned a bit longer
while I play around with this new idea of mine

at the pond
the old flumey cattail furry things look like this
and ...ummm...
they're a little interesting don't you think
don't go there, even though I know you just did, because I did

and while at the pond
I really like the red winged black birds best
this guy was determined to pose for me
so I let him

who knows what these amazing flowers are
I'm totally in love with them and feel slightly stupid not having any idea what they even are
who knew
posting without editing is done in record time
now I have time to actually look at my hubby with my whole body
while facing him
he might not even recognize me since he's so used to only seeing one side of my face while I stare for hours into the computer screen
uh oh
I see a night of lovin coming my way

April 22, 2009

can you even imagine ?

come with me
let me show you what I covet
see if you can feel the love left in the remains

the drooping and crumbling front porch roof will soon be just a memory

the glass panes in the windows and doors
surrendered years ago

baseboards and moldings still carry a shade of blue~green that only love could have colored

walls have been torn apart randomly as if someone was looking for something

in the kitchen stood
this beautiful cabinet
I shrug my shoulders
and wonder
here I go again with another adventure slightly into and around an amazing house not too far from us. it's the same house I found this winter, but with the blowing snow I couldn't get close enough to really see it...do you remember ?
this time, after reading the bold yellow posted signs that said "keep out" on the fence, we kept walking towards it...with hurried steps.
john was with me and we laughed at ourselves wondering just how quickly the authorities could get there if indeed someone "called us in"
with a little mischievous smile on my face
and an immediate attitude of "I'm on a mission"
all he said was "shoot fast"
the house was big and amazing with old steps outside leading down into a cellar that was even too scary for me...this time
there was a huge empty well that went to no man's land, that I could have fallen into since I had my camera glued to my face and wasn't paying attention to where I was walking, but I didn't
{thanks hubby}
and on a little side porch off the kitchen where I stood to take some of the inside photos, had a falling roof on posts that weren't attached to anything, that once again, hubby being on the look out for my safety, pointed out how unstable it looked and suggested that I might not want to stand there very long, because with my luck, today would be the day it would decide to cave all the way in, so I moved.....sometimes he's such a weenie
but I love him for accepting the rebel side of me and following me into the places that in his rule book say "off limits"
so once again I feel this need to find, document and photograph these houses
I don't know what is, but I swear they call my name

straight out of the camera...

it's wednesday again
which means these photos are for misty's self portrait challenge
I tried to be creative
yet I wanted my emotions to be seen
maybe even felt
lately my emotions have been taking me places I don't want to go
making me feel things I don't want to feel
showing up when they haven't been welcomed
just generally being hard to live with
I've always given credit to myself for being an emotional person
my heart on my sleeve
for the world to see
when those negative emotions start to turn on you
it's hard to like them
be proud of them
so I'm working on putting them where they belong
I fight with them
they win
I win
we go round and round
I walk out
they come running after me
but overall
I brush them aside and laugh at them
because that's just how I am
it's not worth the energy
to fight off
the blackness they want to blanket me in
they did force me take my photos in our unfinished basement
thinking it was the only way you could feel what I was trying to describe
~sneaky little things~
in doing so I ended up laughing at myself
because that's just how I am
I'm just not serious for more than a few hours
I never have been
I have tons of smile lines around my eyes to prove it

April 21, 2009

really, it's just the little things...

I'm a pretty happy girl
honestly there really isn't much of anything that gets me down and if something sneaks in there to make me pout a little, it certainly doesn't last for any length of time
I've been that way, I think, forever
{right mom}
it's all due to the little things in life
I don't wait for the big things to come along and blow me away
not at all
I just see the little things every day
gather them up
fill up my
"feel good basket"
I'm happy
over a great tasting potato chip
when I take 100 pictures and only one turns out
when the sky is filled with stars
spending an hour in a book store
eating a perfect strawberry
when a candle burns perfectly
watching a movie I've already seen
talking on the phone to a wonderful friend
when it's "american idol" night
walking through a marsh
smelling fresh baked cookies
dancing in front of my kids to the music they love
putting up little white lights on anything
laughing at a joke that nobody else gets
when I make my husband laugh
when the sun is making shadows
talking to a new mom about her newborn
when my piggies are painted
laying in bed in the morning wondering if I'm still dreaming a little
folding clean towels
talking to a stranger
wearing jewelry made by my friends
listening to those who need me to listen
when someone else cleans up the kitchen
hearing my favorite song playing in the background when I'm shopping
blog surfing for hours
visiting the guys in the camera store and learning something new
climbing into my bed at night
reading a great book
turning around on a highway to check on an elderly couple whose car is stopped
walking around anthropologie soaking in all the pure yumminess
when I find a pair of jeans that sit on my hips
like they were made just for me
they make my butt look cute
that happiness can last for weeks and weeks

April 20, 2009

just a rainy day...

I watched the rain drizzle and trickle down
the windows yesterday
while I sat in my black sweats
drinking tea
eating pretzels
other artists I know
spend rainy days in their studios
playing with paint and paper and canvas and brushes
and glue and inks and stamps and spray bottles and magazine pages
and markers and stencils
I know this
I used to be one of those artists
I don't see her very often anymore
instead that artist now plays with her camera
all the buttons on her camera
then when she gets home
she plays with
layers and color and cropping and contrast and exposure
it tends to be a sickness of her's
an addiction
but it also makes her
{the "be brave" layer I used is from swirly girl...she offered them to us as buttons...but I don't know what to do with a button, so I made a layer instead...thanks christine}

April 19, 2009

because he loves me...

at christmas time
one of my favorite gifts
from my favorite boy
was a handmade book of coupons
I used the one that said
"good for a 2 hour practice shoot on me"
since he's going to be a senior next year
I plan on taking all his senior photos
hopefully some of his friends
since the morning sky was perfect

that's exactly what I did
photo shoot or not
I had a blast with this
favorite boy
{I got carried away on the softening program
when I was editing
and now some of my photos look blurry
arrghhh...I should have left well enough alone~I guess that's why he called it a practice shoot}

April 18, 2009

and I still can't do it...

how can I describe to you how living feathery creatures
on a warm sunny day
doing what they do best
wake up every single cell in my body
how can I tell you that sandhill cranes
who now live a few miles away from me
just down the road
made me the happiest I've been in months

how can I tell you that watching these amazing birds
not watching me
letting me get really close to them
filled my soul with a new life

how can I tell you about how this furry little guy
with a strange tail
was almost stepped on as he waited patiently for me
to get out of his way

how can I tell you about all the turtles
sunning themselves on their own little beaches
diving deep into the lake
when I annoyed them just a few too many times
made me giggle

how can I tell you about this heron
who used to be my most favorite
until the sandhill cranes stole the show
continued to pose perfectly for me

how can I tell you about all the ducks and the geese
who litter the lake with their voices and feathers
told me how I could come back anytime and visit
once again
I just don't think I can tell you
I can show you
as soon as we're done with our hike in the woods
{for those of you who said you would}
we'll head over to this neighborhood lake
watch all the wonder that unfolds there
what do you think
are you in

April 17, 2009

I just can't do this....

I can't tell you how blue the sky was yesterday
how tall the trees seemed
how the sun warmed my bones
I can't tell you how the budding tree in the cottage's front yard
was playing a tune called
"the millions of bees"
I can't tell you how dreamy the wild flowers were
growing up from under
tumbled over
moss covered
termite eaten
tree trunks
I can't tell you how tender and gentle
the water cress looked as it blanketed
the little creek
I can't tell you the shade of purple these wild flowers were
as humans have never been able to duplicate it
so there's no name for it

I can't tell you how fun it was to hike up
this dry creek bed
with nothing to walk on but
moss covered rocks and flimsy tree trunks

I can't tell you how cool I think mother nature
is for creating
spongey fungus
but I can try to show you
unless you'd rather just come with me next time