one day
a long time from now
you'll cease to care anymore about whom you please
or
what anybody says about you
~
that's when you'll do your best work
j.d. salinger
::
i couldn't help but feel a little pinch when i first read this quote. when i turned 40 i bragged about not giving a damn anymore about what others say or think about me. that it was time for me to do anything i wanted without feeling hurt if someone else questioned it or couldn't understand it. and somedays that's exactly how it is.
but
every so often there's still that self doubt rearing it's ugly head
~
did i do something wrong. did i say something wrong. did i write something wrong.
are my ideas that spew out of my mouth daily
just crazy talk. do i talk too much. do i not pay enough attention to the things i should.
am i selfish. and if i am is that bad.
do i not listen enough. am i too controlling. and if i am is that wrong.
~
and
then throw in my photography. where i question the photos that didn't sell in the shop i had them in. where i wonder if i really have any talent at all when i compare myself to other photographer bloggers. should i even call myself a photographer when i seem to choke on that word so easily when someone asks me what i do.
~
why is it that we. we as in women. seem to do this self questioning. self doubting. so easily.
why do we care so much about what others think of us.
~
well. i'm tired of it.
and
after reading the words above and letting them sink heavily into my heart
well
all i know is that i don't want to wait a long time to do my best work. i want to do it now.
~
kind of exciting when you think about it. isn't it.
care to join me
::
