July 18, 2008

don't go running

So you run into a friend at the grocery store
that unfortunately
due to frenzied schedules
you haven't seen in months
and you immediately get
"Hi, how are you?"
because you are a kind person
your immediate response is
"good, and you?"
Have you ever answered that question
with an honest answer ?
I mean
really, really honest answer ?
Oh, alright
"I'm good"
might be an honest answer to reply with
it's safe
and easy
but have you ever imagined what would happen
if you opened
the gate to your inner life
just a tiny little bit
and answered how you really felt
by showing someone
a little bit
what's really inside you
I mean
what if the person asking
"how are you"
"well, some days I do everything I can
just to feel normal.
I think summer brings
a time of reflection for me
where I wonder
if I really like
who I am today
who I'm becoming
and if there is more to this life of mine
that I haven't found yet"
Some friends might actually
hear what you just said
probably not understanding it
yet choosing to decide
you're worth standing with a little longer
in hopes that you'll start talking about your kids
I think most people
would immediately become a little dizzy
unsure of what they thought they just heard
and then quickly check their watch
and come up with some excuse
for being in a hurry
and then off they'd run
at a maddening speed
towards the produce aisle
never to be seen again
So if you're shopping
somewhere near me
and you see a woman
with a terrified look on her face
rounding a corner
at full speed to get out off the grocery store
I just might be
close by
having decided
to be a little more honest
with at least


  1. I love this post. You are not only honest with yourself. You are honest with us. Here.

    I know what you mean. As I read this line, "Have you ever answered that question with an honest answer ? I mean a really, really honest answer ?~~~~~" I thought, No. They don't actually want to know how I am. They are just practicing common courtesy.

    Before I read any more, I felt lonely because that thought of mine was true. Then, I thought of you, of Rhayne, of Tangobaby, of Lala, of Laura, and so many others and I knew it wasn't true - not completely. Because people do care. Maybe not the Wal-Mart crowd. But, some people. The members of this blogging tribe. We sign up voluntarily, we come back for more because we see something in others that we recognize in ourselves.

    And, I thought, Thank God somebody is listening.

    And for you, I am listening. We all are.

  2. Congratulations! It's for posts just like this that I've just given you an award -- visit The Marmelade Gypsy for more!

    I HAVE done that (scary, isn't it!) and sometimes they run away and sometimes not, but it's always, ALWAYS interesting!

  3. Yes, I think the truly honest approach is quite rare these days and I agree it seems no one really wants to hear it.
    Seems like you are going thru some stuff? Take care of yourself, ok? And you can always call if you want to talk or anything.

  4. AnonymousJuly 18, 2008

    Let me tell you about "Todd". He is the guy that manages the produce department in our grocery store. I know him a little from church so we always say hello to each other. One day when I was shopping he greeted me with "Hi Patty, How are you?" and of course I said "Fine, thanks. How are you?" His answer stopped me in my tracks. "Fabulous". I just came right out and told him how his response caught me off guard. He proceded to say "I woke up this morning, I am healthy, my family is healthy and I have so much to be thankful for.....therefore, I am not just "fine", I am fabulous." I went home from the store that day with so much more than groceries!

  5. this is a wonderful post. I am all about HONESTY. Honesty is the best policy.

    Take care,

    Angelica Torez

  6. i think a bit of honesty of that sort is exactly what the world needs!! :-)

    --"how are you"
    --"i'm fine."

    is just another way of saying hello isn't it, we all say it automatically and don't really listen.

    i think you may be onto something here.

  7. Most times its the usual answer but every now and again its "not too bad". That answer covers a lot of territory with me.

  8. Personally, I would rather hear a honest answer and a good story than a brief "fine and you?" Such great responses!

  9. AnonymousJuly 21, 2008

    What beautiful writing. I came upon your blog through a link of a past friend. How refreshing!!Honesty.........most people are afraid of it, I embrace it. It might not always be comfortable but it is freeing.


**I love reading the comments you leave, as they make me feel like we're sitting in my kitchen, having a cup of tea, discussing life and wondering where all the time has gone ...beth