January 13, 2010

wide open...

even after all these years
she studied his square jaw line
determined it would be the same one she had memorized
all those nights she laid awake
outlining every inch of him
from the dim light
coming through the slit in the curtain
while he obliviously slept the night away
the curtain
that had never hung quite right
now that she thought about it
the room
had grown eerily quiet
if that was even possible
except for the air being stirred up
slow blinking lashes unbalancing themselves on ruggedly high cheekbones
she finally spoke
she said his name out loud
at least she thought it was out loud
when she saw baby steps of a smudgy glimmer in his eyes
a recognition of sorts
she knew her voice had been heard
christopher gently reached out to her
like wax being poured into a mold
natalie melted into him
remembering this was the only place she had ever truly fit
he carried her to the bed she once shared with him
while ever so softly
her headband
setting it purposely on the night stand
as if to make a statement
the headband that had been keeping her face wide open
his lips
with a wild hunger
bit hers
he tasted the way she remembered
like old cigarettes swimming in a deep dark liquor
a musky kind of smell
that somehow
reminded her of her grandmothers house
had always comforted her
like an old torn quilt
it was warm and wonderful
her want to roll around in it for days
for nights
days and days
long nights
with only the sound of dragonfly wings in the distance
this is part two of
where I completely left you hanging
which means I've had more nights of tossing and turning
which means
not enough sleep
which means
time to the call the doctor and ask for help
or maybe
I just need
a few glasses of warm milk


  1. Beautiful...you had me all eager and then......!!!!! Wonderfully written. And the photo is beautiful too!

  2. Great writing! I love how you're doing this in little installments - great idea!

    And, I love that shot! Beautiful!

  3. perfect continuation of a great start! Your insomnia equals our rapt attention....(sorry for that though- I know that stinks to not sleep)

  4. this is outstanding!!!! i want MORE! please...

  5. Oh Beth you swirl me of my feet with these beautiful stories. But I'm worried about you not sleeping. So really do take good care of yourself please. Warm coco hugs from me.

  6. so intimate... I almost feel I am intruding and I have to slow down to make sure I capture each nuance you suggest with your words... powerful writing!

    Have you tried melatonin? Its a great place to start before you reach for the prescriptions.

  7. maybe when you write it all out, sleep will return ? just a thought...

    A breathing trick I learned in meditation class that often helps me - not always, but often -

    exhale for twice as many counts as you inhale
    inhale to the count of 3, then exhale to the count of 6...

    Repeat, and repeat, and repeat...
    Apparantly this causes a physical change in your brain that signals deep relaxation or sleep. Like I said, it has worked for me.

    Wishing you peace and rest, lovely lovely Friend !

  8. such beautiful writing...can't wait to find out what happens next! sleep eludes me these days...i am sure it is hormonal for me...sucks!

  9. Hi there tender soul. I thought you deserved this Award. You can pick it up on my blog. Hugs Dagmar

  10. you write amazingly... pulls the reader in. However the thought of someone tasting like old cigarettes swimming in a deep dark liquor... kind of killed the moment for me.
    nevertheless, the writing is still amazing.

  11. It's a good "left hanging" that makes me lust for more. And sometimes, sleep and creative bursts just aren't compatible. Are there any other signs that the sleep disturbances are a problem?

  12. Beautiful writing, you have found a wonderful voice. I love this part
    "remembering this was the only place she had ever truly fit" ah.

    And sleep...elusive for me too right now. I've tried extra exercise, no sugar, no wine and that just makes for a dull day and still no sleep!

    Still, in the no sleep time you are creating a beautiful story!

  13. ...your insomnia certainly is related to your creativity...this is going to be fun to follow even if I do really hope you get some good restful sleep...

    I have to agree with rad6 tho in that the cigarettes and liquor taste is a real turn off to me...

  14. I am here at the computer so many nights that sleep eludes me but, unfortunately, nothing so beautiful as your writing, with its vivid story that makes us hunger for more, results from it! I cannot wait for the next installment but I would wish you no more sleepless nights.

  15. What a beautiful job, Beth! Take a bow!

    Have you ever taken a Benadryl or two before bed? If not, one will do it.

    It's extremely benign. I have to take it every night to breathe...and it makes me drowsy.

  16. This is wonderful Beth, so sorry about your sleep, I wish I could be creative when I am tired. Take care. big hugs.

  17. I swear that my natural rhythm is set to second shift...around ten am until after midnight. I just function better during those hours.

    I love this story. Very visual, with your descriptive.

    Now, about this powwow...am I invited? ;)

  18. Ha! I thought you were talking about you and hubby until I thought - who's Christopher? Wait who's Natalie? Ok, I'm slow today. It's really good. I hope you're feeling ok. And if you're too restless perhaps you're being called to create more. I do remember now that someone is an artist besides a photographer. And now a writer.

  19. so this is what swirls around your head when you can't sleep? No wonder you can't sleep! :-)

  20. such breathtaking words!

    ...i was watching it on Lifetime....were you??!!! LOL

    and i love meg ryan in anything as well, she is my absolute favorite actress!

  21. phew.... hmmmm. I was getting a little hot!

    I think our bodies go into strange rythyms! I have been finding myself waking up every night at 4AM - hey if we're both up we could chat! lol!
    Happy Wednesday!

  22. Your story drew me in and I wanted to hear more.

    Sleep does go in cycles, at least I think so. I find Meletonin (spelling is questionable) help to break the cycle.

  23. I'm a bit confused ... is this your own writing?

    It is very beautiful and it just drew me in. I'm now waiting for the last part, please publish it before taking anything the doctor prescribes. Don't go to sleep on us now :)

    Seriously...I hope you are sleeping better soon.

  24. this is such beautiful writing. you really captured me. can't wait for more.

    there is an interesting quality about the photograph too.


  25. superb writing
    and wonderful style.
    plenty of surprises, the senses.

    loved the dragon fly wings!

    you're going places!
    (and you're already there.)

  26. i always love to visit here...your writing and pictures are spectacular!


**I love reading the comments you leave, as they make me feel like we're sitting in my kitchen, having a cup of tea, discussing life and wondering where all the time has gone ...beth