December 15, 2009

she wonders...

the grey sky
feeling full of questions
suddenly turned black and calm
as if it had finally closed it's eyes
reminding natalie
of a color she hadn't seen in months
due to the sleepless nights that had plagued her
~~
she realized
the wind
who hadn't been breathing for days
had finally emptied it's lungs in an exhale
so passionate
that it had actually taken her own breath away
while making the little hairs on the back of her neck
cautiously dance
~~
she started to lower the dusty window shade
and
as she turned
a flicker in the street light caught her eye
~
the snow had started to fall
~
and
she knew that even if it came down
heavy
like sand being poured from a bucket
it could never fill the hole in her heart
that loneliness
had created
~~
she blew the last of the dripping candles out
and
slowly
while her hands held tight to the railing
she climbed the steep stairway
~~
her faded quilt
was rumpled into a pile of confusion
at the end of her mattress
and
for the first time
she noticed the edges had started to fray
~~
it was also at that moment
that she felt a warm hand on her boney shoulder
and
she shuddered so hard from the touch
that she actually felt the hardwood floor shift beneath her
~~
she didn't want to turn around
fearful that the touch was only her imagination
again
~
but slowly
her swan like neck
so full of questions
curved slightly
and
she could see her reflection in the bubbled glass of her bedroom window
and
as she reached up to touch her face
to confirm that she was real
there he was
~
christopher
~
the man
she had only ever been allowed to dream about
but
had always been able to love
*
when I toss and turn at night
this is what I wake up with in the morning
~
words that don't make any sense to me
words that stop too soon
words that want to be written into a story
words that scream for metaphors
~
maybe
what I wrote today
will be an excerpt in a book I'll write in the future
maybe
~
in the meantime
I'll be looking for a title and a story and a climax and an ending
~
but for now
this is all I have
*
*
I'd like to give a huge shout out to
who is a writer and an author and teases us a few times a week
with his amazing excerpts
always begging us for more
and
who obviously inspired me today


41 comments:

  1. It is probably just a matter of time before the entire story unfolds and you will have your book...let me know...I will definitely enjoy reading it. All the best!

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  2. There are so many stories inside of us wanting to come out. Finding the outlet is the key, right ? How do you become a writer ? Write, write, write ! You have unlimited potential, beautiful One !
    Big love to you!

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  3. Such a beautiful beginning! It will come....it is bubbling up inside of you!!!
    Hugs
    SueAnn

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  4. Hi, I saw your blog mentioned on Traci's 38 And Growing site, thought what an interesting name and here I am.
    I've really enjoyed having a look around at your wonderful works and was wondering if it would be ok to mention you on another site that I visit. This particular blogger mainly reviews books but once a week does a meme all about poetry and I'm sure that her readers would love to visit this site. Nice to meet you, best wishes.

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  5. this is so beautiful in itself. i can imagine this as part of a book...

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  6. WOW! What a beautiful story. Love the idea that you may someday work this into some sort of book. Dreamy!!!

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  7. You received those words in a dream? I'm intrigued! How did you feel when you woke? Did the words carry pain, saddness, hope? What emotions were you, the dreamer, left with?
    Dreaming is intriguing.

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  8. Words and poetry and song melodies come to me in my sleep too. It's what I call Divine Inspiration.

    Beth, many people say they're writers....but YOU really have the start of something here. Thanks for sharing it.

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  9. the image and words are so special intertwined here...you are so talented Beth and I love my visits here!

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  10. Beth that is beautiful....the start of a book, I tossed and turned last night too, but I got nothing! Yoou sure take me to another place with this. !

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  11. i have many words like that swimming around in my head. this morning i decided that i am going to sit down and write down some of them too. and i have .... though i am not brave as you to share it here... yet.

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  12. You have talent oozing out of your pores, Beth. Whatever you do, it will be fabulous.

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  13. I know these pieces of stories well... but yes, its the thread that ties them into cohesion that I find myself missing...

    I just know I'd read your words till my eyes gave out, and then carry them with me flowing through my veins!

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  14. Oh how wonderful!!! I want more! You are so creative~ So, I totally thought of you. I was zipping to work through the forest preserves this morning when I saw a semi- frozen lake with a lone coyote standing smack dab in the middle. Of course, my camera is always at the ready, but there was NOWHERE to pull off- It was such a bummer- that would have been a great shot!

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  15. you are such a brilliant writer...thank you for inspiring us to write more.

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  16. If the words are jumbled in your mind, your hand sorts them out beautifully! Very nice. Encore, Encore!

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  17. my very favoritest part: she knew that even if it came down
    heavy
    like sand being poured from a bucket
    it could never fill the hole in her heart
    that loneliness
    had created

    so very well said and felt all the way to Alabama

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  18. Definitely write a book, I love your writing and thoughts.

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  19. oh wow, this is lovely!

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  20. Beth, it is not just your beautiful photos that bring me to your blog, but the poetry of your writing. Thank you for sharing your heart with us.

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  21. I follow Chuck's blog,too and as I was reading your captivating tale, I was thinking..I should introduce you to Chuck! You both have weave a beautiful story, and share it in these wonderful glimpses!

    "the wind that hadn't been breathing for days..exhale so passionate." Wonderful

    Keep it going! Build on this! What's next!!!

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  22. Ooo, Beth...
    i read this twice aloud
    just so i could feel it in this room.

    and caught myself smiling
    in several delicious places!

    i'm honored, because:
    a) this was sweet of you, and
    b) this is incredible writing! enjoyable!

    i hope that you keep it up!

    and if so
    there is a place for you
    in the Pensive Pony stable of stars!
    www.MyQuirksAndMyCompass.com

    peace, like snowflakes... and thank you, again!
    Chuck

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  23. you're such a great writer beth! i would love to hear more someday! don't give up on it, just let it flow out of you. :) beautiful imagery, and so intriguing! love it. :)

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  24. YES, YES, YES, write a book! And add lots of photographs! Oh that would be amazing. Every photo you take tells a story, imagine a book full with the story unfolded. Put me on the waiting list NOW, I want first edition.
    Love your writing!

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  25. Beth...your words are magical.
    Thank you for passing by my blog...I haven't posted for a while at L.U.T...been crazy busy and preoccupied with my father...but lovely to re-direct my thoughts and images over to your World of precious words.
    Have a lovely evening.
    Char.

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  27. Beautiful writing. Wonderful stuff!

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  28. captivating! I loved reading that. It was like each little section was it's own poem and then, boom! it's a story, and I'm left wanting more.

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  29. oops, that was me:) I was signed in under my daughter's account. wierd. I didn't even know she had an account! hmm.

    but yes, captivating.

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  30. OH, I need more of Natalie and Christopher. I do love that cobweb of a name - natalie.

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  31. I was 1/3 through your post and thought, this lady's writing a damn book.
    You should.

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  32. Yay you're FINALLY thinking of THE BOOK! It's beautiful. As all you do is.

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  33. I like what you have done with the photo, too.

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  34. Oh Beth the way you can put words on a paper (okay screen here) is above my mind...I'm dreaming along into the story and want more. That does not mean I wish for you to have sleepless nights but .....
    I do long for more.

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  35. these words you've place to the page are definitely inspired and make the reader want more. dreams can be fascinating- even the unfinished ones, can't they? hope all is well.

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  36. And I am struck by how you are becoming more and more inspired, and how you inspire others.
    What a gift.
    And i have a daughter Natalie, so when the book is out, it will be on my night table.

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  37. Write a book!!! I think you have a story you were meant to share with the world...

    I would buy it, so there you go, you have at least one sale. I know several others would be with me, so there you go, you have many sales!

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  38. I leaned in closer to the screen as I read those words, and when I got to the end, I wanted to keep reading...keep writing Beth, even if it wakes you in the wee morning hours..ESPECIALLY if it wakes you.

    You have a way of being able to write and express any type of mood you might be in, and you do it so well...you are funny, you are whimsical, and when you write from your heart, like you have done here, you leave me in awe.

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  39. I hope that's one day an excerpt in a book, because I want to be among the first to read it -- and more!

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  40. I know it's been a while since you've posted this... but I've been saving it in my reader to read when I really had the chance to take it in... I love it! You are constantly amazing me with your creativity. Just from reading you small bit of the story, I can say that I will be ordering and reserving a copy of your book as soon as it comes out. You should go for it!

    I would love to write a book myself... For now, I'm just collecting bits and pieces of interesting-ness in the form of words, phrases and short stories or thoughts...

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**I love reading the comments you leave, as they make me feel like we're sitting in my kitchen, having a cup of tea, discussing life and wondering where all the time has gone ...beth