March 10, 2011

envious....

when i hear someone say
"i've never had one"
i say
"i wouldn't wish one on my worst enemy"
~
i had another migraine last night that took me down
~
well
only after it stabbed me in the neck with blades sharpened by bobby flay
and
embedded nails into my temples with a force that only a nail gun can produce
~
when that wasn't enough
it threw bricks at me
one by one
until eventually
i couldn't get up
~
and
in the middle of the night
after taking my prescription medication and a muscle relaxant
i actually caught the grenade it threw at me
{thank you bruno mars}
and
sat up in bed
thinking
okay
this just might be it
~
fortunately i woke up this morning
which meant i was alive
and
with some caffeine
which is a no-no for me
i feel fine
~
recently i heard
either from
"the doctors" or "doctor oz"
that having an orgasm can help ease the pain of a migraine
~
really
~
are you serious
~
if anyone thinks for a minute
that while my body is being tortured by what feels like brutal instruments and weapons ganging up on me
just for fun
that i could think about
let alone
have
an orgasm
~
um
well
let's just say
are you
CRAZY
~
obviously
the person who researched this has never had a migraine
or
is a man
*





33 comments:

  1. definitely a man- faced with a firing squad, bleeding out, or drowning... if the opportunity "arose" so would they..lol

    Hope today is much better..

    xxx
    z

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  2. Yep, oldgreymare is correct. Only a man would offer that solution. I think an experiment is in order -- take 40 needles *pricking* their scalp and determine their rise of anticipation! Checked in with the hubby on this one. He thinks I'm a sadist and told me to stay away from him.
    Love your writing.
    Thanks for sharing!
    Reena

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  3. for sure a man would say that. I am so sorry you had nails pounding in your head. I have only had one such headache and one was enough. Take care and so glad you are coming out the other side alive and haven't lost your humor. Now if a woman could just find a cure for this.

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  4. I agree. Sorry to hear you had an ugly one, glad it has passed. I wouldn't wish them on anyone either - ugh.

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  5. I'm so sorry to hear you were being tortured. And yep, totally a guy thought.

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  6. ha ha. at least you retained your sense of humor thru all that pain and misery!

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  7. I suffer with migraines too so feel your pain. I've just been put on topomaz by my neurologist, only on day 2 so it will be interesting to see if it helps. As for orgasms I'd heard that theory too but personally I think they make them worse (tee hee).

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  8. an about to be divorced man ;)

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  9. I am soooo sorry I said that. Do kidney stones count on the pain meter? Truly would have preferred to have given birth when I was stricken. Not that it is a competition.

    A man is likely to have suspected it to be an avoidance headache, unless he had had one, in which case he'd be a bundle of tears.

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  10. Funny you should say that, I once was married to a man who got cluster head-aches, a form of migraine. And having an organism would release the pain. Of course, getting there was also painful and er, it wasn't something he could be very, er, rambunctious about, but it worked. I knew you would laugh.

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  11. I'm sorry you suffer from migraines - I've never had one (sorry) but you describe it so eloquently I am mightily relieved not to have experienced it. I was unfortuante enought to get carbon monoxide poisoning once which initially manifested itself in a headache so severe I literally couldn't lift my head from the pillow and if migraines are anything like that then my heart goes out to you.

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  12. I'm sure it's a man who said that.

    I've been in the emergency room with a migraine.. I know your pain. SUCKS.

    Hope you're feeling a bit better today. The muscle relaxant Cyclobenzaprine has helped me.

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  13. You'd think they would have invented that orgasm machine from Woody Allen's movie, Sleeper by now. I think I would love that machine.

    Oh, here it is, from Wikipedia no less!
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orgasmatron

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  14. I think both - my husband has migraines and I know sex is the last thing on his mind during one! And obviously the person who said this knows nothing about women!!

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  15. Oh my goodness! I have had migranes, can relate and am soooo soooo sorry for your pain. Ouch! Hope the nasty beast stays away for good.

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  16. I feel your pain. I get them also and when I finally come up for air I feel like I've been beaten up. Hmmm... orgasm... not!!
    leslie

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  17. Thank God for the feeling from the middle of the night when the bulk of that pain is over. Poor sweet Bethie.
    Definitely a man.
    Love ya !

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  18. LOL LOL LOL
    Hope you feel better

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  19. I have to agree it had to be a man. I hope you have a much better day today.
    Take care.
    Katelen

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  20. ha! what deb said. and glad you're feeling a bit better today...

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  21. Maybe if you'd just moan a bit like in When Harry Met Sally it could help... Glad if your head is better at any rate.

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  22. Oh I know what that's like.. and I hate that for you. I remember hearing that an orgasm is supposed to relieve menstrual cramps too. Another "yeah, right!" I'm glad you're feeling better. Imitrex.. that used to help if you can take it.

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  23. Geez, what next? I sure hope your are feeling better. I've had cycles of migraines since childhood and it's never fun.

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  24. Oh Beth, I had a migraine yesterday too, when I got home from school. It was just awful. And no chance of an orgasm either!

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  25. You are so right! I myself get "Cluster Migraines", and also having a problem with motion sickness, when that dizzy feeling starts, I throw up and continue to do so until it subsides...which is never soon enough! You have my sympathy. I'm sending all of the GOOD VIBRATIONS I can muster your way! Sorry to hear you had to endure this crap!___=^..^=___Kittie

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  26. I have to guess it's the blood rushing to the head that makes them go away, right?
    "Hey honey, I have a headache--come on over here!"

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  27. yeah, I'm with you. I am plagued with migraines and even "Complicated Migraines". I am sorry that you get them so badly, beth. They are indeed horrible. I went to a "headache guru" at a neurologist's office, and got the best help yet. A pill that can take them away without making me feel miserably dopey.

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  28. oh my god, i was in the same place last night, and yet another one today, and even after two prescription pills and some over the counter meds i still felt crappy, and now i have managed to numb the pain a bit with some wine. probably a very bad combination, but as i'm sure you know, whatever makes the pain go away...
    it was absolutely a stupid man who has never had a migraine who said that. i hope you are better now. i seem to be stuck in a cycle, do you think it's the weather?

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  29. If anyone can find something to laugh about while suffering a debilitating migraine it would be you! A man for sure!

    I have only had one serious headache in my life that sent me to the doctors...but it lasted for three weeks...I never did find out what caused it and all I can say is I am thankful it never came back...

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  30. Sounds absolutely wretched. Hope all remnants are gone today.

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  31. uh, no.....crazy thought. definitely a man.
    Take care.
    xoxo

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  32. Oh Beth...I can't imagine. And I think an ordinary headache is unbearable...I seriously can't imagine. I hope it is entirely gone now, not to return!

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**I love reading the comments you leave, as they make me feel like we're sitting in my kitchen, having a cup of tea, discussing life and wondering where all the time has gone ...beth