is it okay that i don't like who i am today. or how i feel. or that i see a side of me that isn't me. is it okay if that side of me is like a somebody latching onto me who shouldn't even have visitation rights.
is it okay that i want to grab that somebody by her wrists and look deep into her eyes so i can see into her soul and ask who the hell she thinks she is.
is it okay that when she swings her head around avoiding me that i want to slap her cheek until she winces. especially when she gives me a smirk that says "you can't stop me"
maybe if i run through the farmer's field
filled with itchy tall blades of grass that feel like lassos around my knees
the blinding sun
will make her cover her eyes and she'll lose sight of me
i'll realize she's only here to teach me something
i've never been a fast learner
i'm hoping for a miracle
or at least the condensed version