what....no really, i mean what

i bought a fish yesterday

for no reason

other then that when i was looking for a serving platter in one of my cupboards

last week

for my parent's anniversary party

i came across a glass vasey like bowly thing

and

i thought to myself

"that needs to have a fish in it"

~

so yesterday

my daughter and i went to the pet store

and

came home with a fish

~

he's pretty

isn't he

~

so today i had planned on asking all of you for your help

~

suggestions

for pet names for me to try out on him

with

maybe some kind of give away or something

for the winning name

~

but

after cleaning the rocks for the bottom of his bowl, fixing the water so the minerals in the tap water wouldn't kill him, making sure the water temperature itself was perfect and finally getting him out of his little plastic bowl from the pet store and into his new home

and

then

feeding him

i was all like

"what.was.i.thinking"

and

decided

that was the perfect name for him

~

seriously

"what.was.i.thinking"

and

that i'd just call him

WHAT

for short

~

i think he likes it

~

although i noticed this morning

he seemed to look at me only when i called him

mr. what

*

oh that brian....

When I grow up, I want to remember that I always wanted to be about a thousand different things & one lifetime didn't seem nearly enough. When I grow up, I hope it's at the very end when it doesn't matter anymore anyway.

brian andreas

i wish....

i wish i had

a long post today

filled with glittery magical words

borrowed from a fairy

that you could tuck into your heart

and

carry with you until your head sinks into your down filled pillow tonight

but i don't

~

i wish i had

the energy to do all the things that need to get done today

but as i sit here typing

i've decided

everything can wait

that nothing is that important

today

~

well almost everything

~

there's a cool breeze blowing in my window

that's been absent for weeks

as

we've been suffering from the kind of humidity where particles floating in the air

actually stick to your body

so

today

i think it only fair

that if the only thing that gets checked off my

"don't really want to do it ever"

list

is maybe

oh

let's say

cleaning one toilet

while the rest of my day is spent with my hair blowing in the wind

while i close my eyes

and

soak up the sounds of the birds that sound happier than they did a few days ago

well

then

that would be a perfect day

wouldn't it

*

the photo above has nothing to do with today, but everything to do with the past 2 weeks while my sister and her family have been visiting. i got this shot after my nephew had finished showing me some of his mad skateboarding tricks and i just loved how he looked all sweaty and adorable.

and they said it wouldn't last....

i'm getting personal on my blog today

with photos from my parents 50th wedding anniversary party

that we celebrated yesterday

at my little sister's house

~

and

yes

those parents of mine

are still sucking face

after all these years

here are all of their grandchildren

~plus my daughter's boyfriend~

and

~minus the second oldest granddaughter~

who was here earlier in the week

but

had to get back to boston where she works and goes to college

here's a joke

~

what do you get when you have 3 daughters

~besides drama and a few headaches~

3 gorgeous son-in-laws

of course

and

here are some of my cousins from my dad's side of the family

who were amazingly cooperative when it came to have their having photo taken

thank you

rick and cindy

steve and judy

sheldon, mike and pam

you guys were so much fun

~

the best part of my day

was spent

pulling friends and family aside

letting them believe that they were just going to have a regular photo taken

and

then hitting them with the word

kiss

~

my favorite photos

are

over here

and

i think if you have time to look at them

you'll get quite a kick out of them

too

~

simple things..kind of

today is my mom's birthday

she's 69

i'm meeting her for lunch in a few hours

~

someday i want a crooked fence

just like the one above

~

it's pink

i mean really. come on. a pink fence. does it get any better than that.

and

see the little red berries growing in front of it

~

i want those

too

~

that's not too much to ask for

is it

~

i just bought the new

droid incredible

yesterday

and

i'm trying to figure out what's so incredible

about it

~

it does everything

but

honestly

today

i had to call myself on it

from my home phone

just to figure out how to answer it

~

it is a phone

right

~

i hope your friday is filled with

love and silly things

all day long

*

when my mind wanders...

i bet i would have loved the building that held this chimney

but

the chimney all alone

brave and standing on his own

in the middle of nowhere

slightly leaning

made me get out of the car

~

the building

itself

might not have done that

~

have you noticed

that when you peel back the layers of

anything

it's the contents you find inside that are amazing and beautiful

~

think about it

~

isn't the woman's face

plastered with makeup

and

whose lashes stick together when she blinks

really beautiful and full of life

after she's washed everything off and left it all behind in her washcloth

and

isn't a banana or an onion fabulous

inside

once it's been peeled

and

when someone is filled with crappy memories

don't they look radiant when they've told their story

to someone who understands

because

they finally rid themselves of the pain that was blistering them from the inside out

~

but

the most beautiful thing to ever see

once the layers are peeled back

is someones heart

and

sometimes

if they're really stubborn

that can take more patience and understanding then you ever thought possible

and

it will make you sweat and cry and pound your fists and walk away and come back

and

do it all over again

but

once you find

that heart

and

hold onto it

you'll never regret all the work it took

and

all the peeled layers

that had to be gently discarded along the way

to finally

see it

and

talk to it

and

be with it

*

she said, "there's 21 of us"....can we do that ?

this sweetie

is part of the largest family i've ever photographed

10 adults

eleven kids

a really hot afternoon

kids who wanted to do anything but look at my camera

~i'm getting used to this~

and

by the way

the black and white group photo above

is my favorite

~i love candid and this is as candid as it gets~

mosquitos

and

sweaty little bodies

promises of ice cream

when it was all over

a game of simon says

all

for a grandma and grandpa's

40th wedding anniversary

~

thank you susan for trusting me with all your loved ones

~

the precious individual photos

of the children

are

over here

~

i hope you have time to take a little peek

*

maybe it's the water...

or

the wide open fields

or

the forest

or

the windmill

or

the plants that need watering

~

maybe it's

the sunset

or

the park bench

or

the carpet of little pink flowers

or

the cafe

or

the bookstore

~

or

maybe

just

maybe

it's the look in his eyes

~

i know

you think i've totally lost it and you have no idea what i'm talking about

~

well

it's all here in this

video

~

and

now i'm off to pack my suitcase

and

take a walk

*

i don't remember...

i don't remember

playing in the sand with my dad

~while he wore really cool plaid shorts~

and

i was just a tiny toddler

but

i know he remembers playing with me

because he's my dad

and

he never forgets anything

~

i know without a doubt

that he knows where and when this photo was taken

how old i was

and

who else was with us that day

~

he's always remembers

~

and

as soon as my mom reads this blog post to him

~he doesn't do computers~

the phone will ring

and

i'll hear my dad's voice

and

he'll be telling me all the things he knows

~

because

he's my dad

and

he never forgets

~

happy father's day

*

death becomes her....

am i alone

in my love

of dying flowers

i hope not

or

you'll think this post of mine today

is just awful

and

maybe even a bit creepy

here

i kept this photo bright

just in case the really faded limp and dying photos

bothered you

~

i promise tomorrow i'll have photos of something living

just to make things even

okay

*

it's like this....

i love summer

but

rarely do i even know what day of the week it is

~

when the warmth of the summer sun settles my nerves

and

makes me fall in love with simple things like grass between my toes

it causes me to forget about things i wanted to do

and

then i feel all messy inside

~

i guess that as long as it's only the things that i wanted to do

and

not the things that i needed to do

that get forgotten about

i'm okay

and

won't get me written up in the neighborhood paper

next to the crazy cat woman

who doesn't understand why having 99 cats is just wrong

~

so here's to forgotten days of the week

eating strawberries in bed

not showering because i'm just going to sweat again today anyway

unswept kitchen floors that can wait until the first freeze

and

completely bombing another online class

~because chasing butterflies seems more important~

~

honestly

you have no idea how much summer and i love each other

no idea

and

that feeling all messy inside

can feel so right

*

happy friday everyone

and i was wondering what i was going to do today....

all i know

is that i'm not going to look back at what i didn't do

or

should have done

or

could have done differently

~

instead

i'm going to look forward

and

embrace what's waiting for me

~

it might mean having to kick some ugly things off my path

while i skip towards utopia

but

leg exercises are good

and

if i have to sit down and calmly talk to the ugly troll who won't let me cross the bridge

~the one he thinks he owns~

i will

although

i'm sure i can bribe him with the chocolate in my pocket

since it's wrapped in gold foil

~

you know

the more i think about it

moving forward

really is the only way we should ever go

~

no wonder our feet only point in one direction

and

that there's words like

trip and fall and klutz and tangled

when

we forget that

*

i'll sit by you...

i wish i had something poetic to share with all of you

today

but

i don't think i do

instead

we can talk

if you want to

~

summer has it's grip on us and the humidity is making me turn the air conditioning on more than i'd like to. it's not snow. so i'm really not complaining. the days are incredibly long. have you noticed that, too. and for some reason, it's easier to stay up late and feel alright, but when the morning rolls around and the sun is reaching through my window tickling me, begging me to get up and play, i turn away and snuggle deeper into my pillow. wanting to stay a bit longer. not to sleep. but just to think.

~

the photo above

is from the heart of our little downtown

~

i drove by it

one day

and

actually had that feeling of where you ask yourself "did i really just see something totally cute and is it worth going around the block to see it again" and obviously my "self" said

YES

and

all i had with me was my little point and shoot

and

well

i guess

that was all i needed

*

not as easy as it looks.....

oh

the dragonfly

~

it flits

it flies

it's faster than a speeding bullet

~well kind of~

~

but

if you make like a tree

down by the water's edge

and

use your zoom lens

you just might be able to catch one

~

and

if you do

it will kind of take your breath away

*

well, i'm still here...

blogger didn't eat me yesterday. i didn't go poof. up in smoke. like i always think can actually happen. instead blogger was actually very kind and patient with me. which made me raise an eyebrow. and then eventually i said thank you.

~

if any of you are wanting to change your blog, blogger has gotten all crafty and artsy on us. instead of customize, that used to be up in the right hand corner of your blog page, you now have the option of going straight to "design" which a week ago, was found only in "blogger in draft." once you play around with a new designer template, you have complete control in the layout of your design, all your coloring options, like you did before, but now you can size everything you want without playing with html codes.

yippee

~

there's no longer "layout" on your normal setting, where you used to change your banner and add gadgets. that's "design" too, but it gets you where you want to be.

~

and

then there's pages. they can be a bit confusing and i'm not even sure i love them, but i'm trying them out for a few days. i kind of miss my right hand column, wondering if my new layout has my photos coming across as too large, but the good thing is that i can add that column back in with two little clicks. because blogger is being nice and patient.

~

so for all the ugly things i used to call blogger

well today

i'm eating those words

*

let me know if you change your look

i'd love to come see what you've done with your space

just in case....

it's kind of grey

today

and

it feels like a perfect day to play around on my blog

~

a new template

a new banner

and

maybe a few other fun things

BUT

just in case

blogger

EATS

my blog

which would be a bit of nightmare

but

could happen

and

you never see me

HERE

again

i'll be over at

ruby luna photography

throwing rocks and sharp objects

~while spewing expletives~

at blogger

starting over

again

~

so tomorrow

if there's nothing but smoke here

you'll know what happened

*

your weekend outlook....

a sandy beach

on any lake in wisconsin

is a gift

and

we're lucky enough to have a little one not too far from us

~

this time of year

it's filled with college students who are staying in town for the summer

competing to see who can hold their handstand the longest

~

parents

who look like they would much rather be napping

entertaining little ones

that scatter like a dropped bag of m & m's when their feet hit the sand

~

book reading moms laying on quilts

secretly wishing they could wear the bikinis the college aged girls look perfect in

~

families grilling dinner

and

old men walking their dogs

~

of course i was mostly focused on this little one

and

when he climbed up into the lifeguard's chair

well

how could i not take his photo

~

i hope however you look at the weekend

or

however the weekend looks at you

it's beautiful

and

perfect in every way

*

but it feels a bit cold...

sometimes

life comes rolling at you so fast

that you have to jump back a little

so it doesn't slap you right in the face

~

sometimes

it's too late

and

by the time you open your eyes

life

has soaked you

from head to toe

and

as you spit salty water from your mouth and pull seaweed from your hair

you're thinking

"enough already"

~

and

sometimes

you're just too scared of what's laying in front of you

so

you let life pass you by

~

come on

let's be brave

today

all of us

let's test the waters

~

and

i don't mean water water

i mean life

~

maybe

try something new

something hard

something different

~

i bet if i shout out

"it's not too bad, come on in and join me"

you will

~

won't you

*

is there something new you're trying or something you've put aside, fearful of doing it wrong or that even if you get it done, it won't really matter. is there something somebody has told you that you can't do, so you're not even going to try it.

what you do

matters

even if it matters to only you

*

where the beauty is...

there was no beginning. there was no end

just strings of rain beads hanging from a dark cold sky

singing

~

beads of rain that had been carefully strung on fishing line by the most talented of hands

they didn't shine

they didn't have to

~

beauty doesn't always shine

~

the rainy day softened my heart. prevented me from moving too fast

~

today

the sun is dancing. i can hear it. it makes music you know.

just like the rain beads

but

different

~

today i hear feathers and tip toeing if i sit still

yesterday

i heard whispers and flutes breathing together like a newborn

~

the sun is calling me now. asking me to make my own music.

do you hear it. the music. the dancing. the singing.

~

somehow i knew you did

*

if i had to choose....

if someone told me today

that i had to narrow down my photo shoots

to only one age group

i think i would have to choose seniors

~~

as much as i love babies

and

the innocence of silliness that comes from toddlers

there's just something that melts my heart

when a senior steps in front of me

*

if you have time

~and i really hope you do~

there's more of this beautiful girl over at ruby luna

and

she's just as gorgeous in black and white as she is in color

*

she doesn't quite understand stop....or stay

this is my sweet sophie

she's 13 now

and

has never really listened very well

anyhow

yesterday

after a torrential downpour

the sun came out

and

i wanted to play with my

"through the view finder"

contraption

but

sophie didn't really understand what i was asking her for

since

"stop and stay"

means

"run and play"

to her

first she was too close

and

closed her eyes since the sun was so blinding

then she got tired of me begging her to sit still

and

she wandered down the sidewalk

soon she came running back

right at me

with a

"like this"

grin on her face

as i moved to get out of her way

while she was taking a potty break

i took photos of the sky

and

our empty bird feeder

and

then just to show you how crazy fun the "through the view finder" thingy is

well

if you take a photo of something with words on it

they come out backwards

*

if any of you have an old kodak duraflex and want more information on how to take

photos using that and your d-slr {they have to be used together}let me know.

i'll give you a tutorial

*

and

if any of you can tell me how to make sophie sit still when i pull out the camera

i'd love to hear from you

*

ps

did anyone else have problems with blogger yesterday and today

?

or maybe write it in stone.....

i have tidbits today

and

if i could

i'd color them all pretty with pastels

~

mark and his crew had to turn around and now instead of the gulf

they're heading to puerto rico

~

yesterday was my daughter's graduation "from college" party

~she looked beautiful~i feel old~

~

i won an amazing necklace on a shutter sister's give away

and

i'm over the moon about it

~

i just did my first senior photo shoot for the season and remembered why i love seniors

~

boot camp starts today

and

my boots are ready

*

i hope your weekend

so far

has been all bright and chalky

what matters now.....

it doesn't matter

if the tips are dull or sharp

or

you don't have the right colors

or

the only paper you have is an old napkin

or

you can't spell very well

~

all that matters

is that you write what's in your heart

and

share it with somebody you love

or

gently tuck those words safely between the pages of your journal

so you can find them years later

~~

really

all that matters

is that you write

*

happy weekend

everybody

off he goes....

many of you already know

my friend

mark

~

if you don't

he works on a tug boat

and

writes about life and his thoughts

on and off land

and

in a short amount of time

has become one of my favorite bloggers

~

i just got a note from him this morning

as his boat was pulling out of new york harbor

and

heading south

~~

please keep him and his crew in your thoughts

as they head over to help with the oil disaster

*

journey should be a word with all capital letters...

there was a new voice

which you slowly recognized as your own

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper into the world

determined

to do the only thing you could do~

determined

to save the only life you could save

~mary oliver~

~~

i've been living on wild mushroom and rosemary naan that my hubby has perfected and honestly it should be on a menu in a swanky restaurant somewhere. it's that good. my sunglasses have been getting a workout. gallons of lemonade with fresh lemon slices have been disappearing from my refrigerator. my legs smell like self tanner. i'm worried about my favorite beach in the panhandle. i had my eyes tested and i'm still 20/20 which according to my doctor is quite impressive. and today i'm being lazy. summer does that to me.

*

i'm sorry, but i had to do it....

yesterday

~twice~

nice comments were left on my blog

but

when i clicked on their blogger names to see who they were

they weren't bloggers

they were nasty advertising sites

~

one was for electronics. i think. honestly i was so surprised by it that i clicked out of it really fast. the other one was for vacation places.

~~

so i had do make some changes. which made me mad. since i didn't do anything wrong.

first

i got rid of anonymous users

~for now~

and

i had to add back in

word verification

~i hate word verification~

~~

so to the nasty sneaky people out there. go away. please.

and

to all of my blog readers who i adore and who i don't thank enough

thank you

for being wonderful

really wonderful

~~

i love wonderful. i hate nasty and sneaky.

*

oh

if you have some extra time. can you come over here and see my beautiful niece.

is it okay...

is it okay that i don't like who i am today. or how i feel. or that i see a side of me that isn't me. is it okay if that side of me is like a somebody latching onto me who shouldn't even have visitation rights.

is it okay that i want to grab that somebody by her wrists and look deep into her eyes so i can see into her soul and ask who the hell she thinks she is.

is it okay that when she swings her head around avoiding me that i want to slap her cheek until she winces. especially when she gives me a smirk that says "you can't stop me"

~

maybe if i run through the farmer's field

filled with itchy tall blades of grass that feel like lassos around my knees

the blinding sun

will make her cover her eyes and she'll lose sight of me

~

or maybe

i'll realize she's only here to teach me something

~

unfortunately

i've never been a fast learner

so

today

i'm hoping for a miracle

or at least the condensed version

*