April 15, 2009

how do I love thee...or not

misty is doing a small self portrait challenge on her blog
and
silly me
I said that I'd play along
~~
what the hell was I thinking
?
I don't like having my picture taken
by anyone
which is why I'm so happy to be on the other side of the camera
so
having to take pictures of myself
for a challenge
~painful~
~~
I've always wanted to love "me" just the way I am
but as I get older
I have a really tough time doing the loving that needs to be done
which is maybe why
for this challenge
I put on my big girl panties
believed in myself a little more than usual
and
said
"you can do this"
it's still too chilly to be outside shooting
~especially MYSELF~
so these were all taken in the house as I walked around trying to be creative
and
realizing that taking photos of "me"
with a timer
is not easy
and
focusing mostly on my face was becoming really hard to do

if I could have airbrushed my nose straighter
and
added highlights to my hair
and
softened the lines around my eyes
and
smoothed the bumps around my butt
and
made my giraffe neck shorter
and
straightened my teeth which are currently wearing invisalign
and
warmed my blinding winter white skin
I would have
~~
but then that wouldn't have been me
would it
?

so here's an air blown kiss to all of you
for being such wonderful blogging friends
and
hopefully now that you've seen me in a new light
I haven't scared you away
*



27 comments:

  1. I always think it's brave when a person that hates the front of the camera like I do - to decide to take up these challenges. And you are beautiful - especially that first shot. kudos to you!! :)

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  2. I hear you, I really do! I struggle with self portraits too, which is why I didn't take up Misty's challenge. I'm such a chicken! I love these photos of you and I think that the last one in particular really captures your playful spirit :-)

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  3. aww, i think they're great! but agree that it is a challenge to do such things...i love the one of your torso at the kitchen sink (not because it doesn't include your face!) but because it makes a stronger statement for not being the usual. and the reflection on the very clean countertop is great!

    bravo to you for being so brave!

    xox,
    /julie

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  4. Hi Beth,

    These all show different aspects of you and so make up a great self portrait. And a longer neck is one of the representations of beauty (think Audrey Hepburn, Margot Fonteyn et al), so why would you want to change it?!

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  5. Wonderful series of images. I know exactly what you mean about preferring to be on THIS side of the lens. Good for you for taking the leap!!!

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  6. i hear you on how hard it is to take self portraits...but you did it and they are beautiful! kt

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  7. Isn't it true; I hate pics of myself. I always think you look gorgeous at all times though!!!! I mean it!

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  8. thanks for this post to show not only are you beautiful inside but outside as well beth!

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  9. Derrek took the words right outta my keyboard...I adore Audrey Hepburn and still believe her to be one of the most stunning, classic women of our time. I am jealous of your long neck. I am jealous of your angular form as mine grows rounder each year for reasons that elude me...

    This was a great exercise...and we all love you as we 'see' you because we don't have a built in definition of you...only you have that.

    It's the same thing that makes us react when we hear our voice on a tape recorder...it's soooo much different from the voice we hear in our heads...

    So, the question here, is, how does Beth feel about Beth now that you were a big girl and did this exercise AND have read all these comments? How does Beth feel now?

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  10. keep blooming darlin' ... you are beautiful, there is pure evidence right here!
    i love these... and i always knew you had the whole sp thing down, you can't hold back now. ;-)

    xoxox

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  11. A perfect reflection of me too. Right now, I love the way I hate my neck.

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  12. congratulations!! i'm glad you did these, they are wonderful, i hope you keep it up. i think group energy in these situations helps support and gives momentum to our exploration. i hear you when you say it's hard - my first instinct is to recoil when i have a camera pointed at me. but doing this is giving me an opportunity to step back and be less personal and judgemental with myself, instead, see what's in front of me with fresh eyes in the form of me. that is my intention anyway, and i'm feeling curious about it, one shot at a time.

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  13. you brave woman...and yet despite your anxiety, your photos are wonderful! what a beautiful artist! :)

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  14. yea, I hear you on the S.P. trepidation - thank God Misty is such an inspiring instigator!! I haven't done it since the series I shot that produced my blog photo. You're SO precious, and photograph beautifully ... it's just hard for each of us to see that in ourselves, I guess. I was scrolling through/reading and thought, 'god, she's got such a graceful neck' and you called it a giraffe neck -- it's all subjective. I love the first photo and the air-kiss photo -- backatcha with that.

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  15. Beth, I think your photos are beautiful.

    Self-portraits are hard on everyone, I think.

    I loved getting the air-kiss.
    Muahh...right back at you!

    :)

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  16. oh what fun!You are fabulous! I love each and every one...a kitchen sink never looked sexier!! BRAVO!

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  17. I always leave your blog with a smile on my face, thats why i visit.

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  18. Ok, not to get too personal, but if my butt looked like that from behind in my big girl panties and I had those gorgeous facial contours, I'd be posing all the time. We're so hard on ourselves!

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  19. Your post made me think of another challenge : make a self-portrait and focus on what is right. Why is it that we are so quick to focus on what needs to be changed and so rarely stop a celebrate what is good already? I love your shots, especially the silouette at the counter and the soft blurred one at the top.

    Happy and Brave SPW !

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  20. i think you look absolutely beautiful :-) and these photos are truly lovely!!

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  21. Oh, you silly ninny...You have the most beautiful neck. Your skin is gorgeous. Your breasts are perfect (i hate you), your butt is your husband's pride and joy. Your nose shows more character than you can imagine. So, if you don't like having your picture taken, quit looking so damn good.
    HAHAAHHAHAHHAHA shelley xoxxoxox

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  22. HOLY crap girl... these are fabulous... completely forgot it was Wednesday until I read this which now, after of course already being in my comfy clothes, headband in hair and just too raw to take a picture of myself, am not fulfilling my promise of trying to do this as well (sorry Misty) .... I need to find the courage to try...you are amazing... I owe you a catchup email, too... xoxox

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  23. Beth, these are gorgeous shots! Congrats on being brave. I need to do a better job of that myself. :)

    Hugs!
    Eva

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  24. first of all, you are beautiful—just as you are!

    but i completely identify with wanting to have your picture taken less and less the older you get. i am so much that way.

    but you have done some beautiful self-portraits here. and what a beautiful post. i'm not one bit scared!
    :)

    (ps. i would love to have the info on that Japanese site you commented about on my blog. thank you for the tip! i look forward to getting the info.)

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  25. oh my dear how brave of you to step up to the plate and take on this challenge. i am right there beside you, hating having my picture taken as well. i don't think i ever met anyone who said that they love to have there picture taken. how funny that those who hate to have there picture taken love to take pictures of others. we enjoy making other people feel comfortable in front of the camera and showing them through photos how we truly see them. why is it so hard for us to be as kind to ourselves?

    next time you take a photo of yourself think of me behind you, cheering you on, easing your worries, and squashing those little gremlins who don't let you see how beautiful you truly are.

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  26. Scared us away? No! We are enchanted -- or at least I am. First of all, my dear, you're selling yourself short. There's nothing wrong with the nose, the lines, the butt, the neck, the teeth. They are wonderful. And it's a good thing, but whether they were or not, they would still be you and that's the Beth we all love!

    Self portraits are brave. These are lovely.

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  27. well done you for doing these! your beauty shines through my monitor - bravo! x

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**I love reading the comments you leave, as they make me feel like we're sitting in my kitchen, having a cup of tea, discussing life and wondering where all the time has gone ...beth