April 22, 2009

straight out of the camera...

it's wednesday again
which means these photos are for misty's self portrait challenge
~~~
I tried to be creative
yet I wanted my emotions to be seen
and
maybe even felt
~~~
lately my emotions have been taking me places I don't want to go
making me feel things I don't want to feel
showing up when they haven't been welcomed
and
just generally being hard to live with
~~~
I've always given credit to myself for being an emotional person
with
my heart on my sleeve
for the world to see
but
when those negative emotions start to turn on you
it's hard to like them
or
be proud of them
so I'm working on putting them where they belong
I fight with them
they win
I win
we go round and round
I walk out
they come running after me
but overall
I brush them aside and laugh at them
because that's just how I am
~~~
it's not worth the energy
to fight off
the blackness they want to blanket me in
~~~
although
they did force me take my photos in our unfinished basement
thinking it was the only way you could feel what I was trying to describe
~sneaky little things~
~~~
but
in doing so I ended up laughing at myself
because that's just how I am
~~~
I'm just not serious for more than a few hours
I never have been
and
I have tons of smile lines around my eyes to prove it
*


25 comments:

  1. As always, an interesting post, so, you are human and have the inter-battles once in a while like the rest of us. Something tells me it's usually sunny in your world, at least thats how I read it. The photos are great!

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  2. Hi Beth,

    Powerful self portraits! It's good that the dark feeling don't win for long!

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  3. Ah, my Dear, sometimes the wonder of the back story is equally appealing as the one we read and see. These are great, and so are you.

    Remember, feelings aren't facts, they're feelings...don't run from them, just feel them until they move on....

    Beautiful work, like you.

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  4. And what a totally fabulous smile it is! I love these -- they speak volumes (at first, they reminded me very much of "Cabaret," which as dark emotions go is right up there in my book -- all masked by the frenetic pace of Sally Bowles, her "take it on" attitude.

    You, my dear, are much more joyful. All our moods get dark and topsy turvy and pop out with weirdnesses we don't understand and energies that seem out of control. But oh! You know how to work with that, to feel it, to photograph it, to ackowledge it.

    You, my friend, are just fine in every single way!

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  5. beautiful & playful, i love these! you are so cool!
    someday i want to take photos with you, how great would that be!!!

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  6. Your arms rock! I love it when you laugh, my friend.

    This is such a beautiful post. ; )
    xo

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  7. oh Beth! These are so lovely, sensual, story telling. I love all three. Wednesday SP has become my other favorite day of the week, like all the other six days!!

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  8. again, brave...and so emotive. and...great smile as always.

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  9. rockin' pecs, rockin bum', rockin' rack, but most importantly, rockin' smile, heart, soul ...

    I love you.

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  10. i like these.

    they make you seem like a dancer—you seem to have the physique of a dancer (those arms!) and the pose is very dancer-like. great job!

    thanks for your encouragement on the unemployment post. i'm sorry your hubby is out of work, too. i hope we all find work very soon.

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  11. your photos are so amazingly beautiful, sensual and real... and the thoughts expressed even more so... they could be my words too... in fact, they are so frequently...

    i'm so glad i clicked through... it feels like letting out a long sigh...

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  12. Great shoulders, girlfriend! And I've found that if you welcome feelings and sit with them a spell, they're much more content with you than if you try to exile them.

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  13. In your quietest moments listen to your heart it already has all the answers.

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  14. beth, these photos are freaking amazing! I just love them.

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  15. These are truly something that should be framed and hung on your emotion wall. CIRCULAR conversations is what you call the picnic between your emotions and your core. But guess what? YOU WIN!
    xoxoooxoxoxshell

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  16. oh my dear what great photos and words to go along with them. I love the order that you put them in! and i must say you have fabulous arms. i am so jelous. keep showing yourself to the world because you are so beautiful!!

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  17. Wow! These are REALLY amazing shots! They tell a story all on their own too. So beautiful!

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  18. I love your ability to be your absolute self. It is beautiful and bountiful.

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  19. These are really great. Everyone above me has said it all so much better so ditto the above :)

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  20. Very beautiful self portraits... I love the quietness , the warmth and the simplicity... roxanne

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  21. these are wonderful SPs, and your emotions certainly come through clearly, even your laugh lines (what a beautiful smile you have). the second photo is very compelling.

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  22. I am completely blown away by these self portraits. That first one belongs in a posh gallery in an absolutely enormous version. LOVE IT!!

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**I love reading the comments you leave, as they make me feel like we're sitting in my kitchen, having a cup of tea, discussing life and wondering where all the time has gone ...beth