September 2, 2009

he doesn't know....

he doesn't know
that I see how big his heart is
~~
he doesn't know
that I see an unmeasurable amount of love in his eyes when he laughs
~~
he doesn't know
how much a room lights up when he walks in
most of all
he doesn't know
that the world has been waiting for someone just like him
*
school started here today and my baby is a senior. nobody told me on the day he was born, that this day would arrive so quickly and as much as I was prepared for it to happen, I felt my world shake a little bit today.
he's all smiles and ready to take on the world, now that he's carrying that senior title, well actually he was ready to take on the world at four, but now he actually can.
a week ago, on a summer day that usually only exists on paper or in dreamy thoughts, I couldn't resist
the urge to go outside with my camera and shoot.
I slowly went downstairs to the teenage boy cave, that always has a faint smell of mcdonalds or taco bell and
smiled the " can you do whatever your momma asks you do" smile
and he actually said "sure...let's go..as long as you're quick"
so across the road we went to a house that's for sale and no longer has horses in their field and played a little bit and
laughed and squinted at the sun that was blinding both of us and 15 minutes later
my camera fingers were satisfied and I let him go, so he could continue doing whatever it is teenage boys do.
I just took the photos off my camera today and my heart swelled and spilled over when I saw them.
boys have a way of doing that to their moms.
*


35 comments:

  1. I love the photo in the field. I dread this day - but thankfully mine is only 8 yo so still a while a way - but wow - doesn't time go quickly. Your son is lucky he has a Mum that sees all the beauty in him - he will always prosper because of it.

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  2. Yes. Boys do. Mine will be 13 in just a few short days. I'm not ready. He will be gone too fast.

    Thank you for sharing him with us. The pictures show your love.

    be well ...
    ~m

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  3. Yes, they do. So beautiful, and you're an amazing photographer!

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  4. yes i agree.. they do.
    this post is just brimming with your love.

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  5. this is such a lovely post, what wonderful photographs! big hug for you Beth, you should be very proud of your self as well!

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  6. this is such a beautiful tribute to your son....so beautiful. xx s

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  7. hello and thank you for sharing this journey today...hugs

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  8. sighhhhhh... this post hits me right smack hard in the heart and causes tears to spill over my cheeks... and i am only at the kindergarten stage, but somehow i know it won't be long...
    life is beautiful & even more so when we have those that make our hearts hurt with love & longing.
    xoxoxoxo

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  9. Oh, Beth.....I have a boy and remember clearly the feelings I had during his senior year of high school. He's 41 now and still makes my heart swell and spill over. Your son looks so very handsome and happy to be walking through a field of Queen Anne's Lace with his mother. This is an absolutely fabulous weather week in Wisconsin, isn't it?

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  10. Oh my goodness ... he is beautiful and I am sure your words are full of the truth that he is as much so inside as outside. My own "little" boy is 30 and I still feel what you so beautifully expressed. And now each day I set my sights on Simon and at 7 months ... I'm a goner!!!

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  11. Such a touching post...you have a beautiful way with words...and I can only imaginr how you feel!
    have a good day...
    Char

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  12. Such a tender, yet strong post, Beth...a big week at your place...savor the days...your photos have given you a good start with that. :o)

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  13. You do have a beautiful way of expressing your thoughts. Although I don't know what it feels like to be a mom, this post was very heartfelt. Your son is gorgeous, and your photos are very good.

    Have a great day.

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  14. Your swelling heart is such a joy to see and feel. You and your son are so beautiful...

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  15. These are just glorious photos. I remember that senior year gulp. And if you think that's big, wait another 12 months!

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  16. Beth,
    I didn't know I'd ever have the opportunity to relate to these sorts of feelings. Now, thanks to Evan, and Michael bringing his children into my life, I can say I absolutely understand this.

    Thank you for sharing your Sonny day with us.

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  17. Hi Beth,

    Been catching up with all sorts of thoughts and feelings here; even popped over to see your new abode.

    Hope your son enjoys his first week as a senior. Moms and sons, eh?!

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  18. Such a winding road, birthing our children and holding their hand until there are here, on the verge of flying away into their own lives...

    it is frightening, it is beautiful, it is what we hope and dream and worry about, yes?

    :-)

    (((hugs))),
    love,
    me

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  19. Well! Just instantly PARK me on my mother-of-2-sons keister in a puddle of wails and boo hoos.

    what YOU said. And he IS the world ...

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  20. this is so beautiful, and touching to me. it makes me feel like maybe...maybe i can understand my own mom's feelings better.

    thank you for this, and for sharing a little bit of your love.

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  21. You can see the beauty of your love in those pictures.

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  22. What a bittersweet post. A bittersweet day. I don't think there is anything better than being a mother.

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  23. How very, very sweet. He sounds like the most wonderful soul, and the pictures are awesome :)

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  24. Beth, this is just beautiful, this post just oozes love, him in the tall grass I just love it. He is a handsome young man, he is your world. I am sure he loves you as much as you love him. I would have cried too over the pictures, I don't have a son, I really noticed today what a great writer you are, I have always been blown away by your photos, I think you are wonderful.

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  25. I am totally with you as my son starts grade 12 next year. At his age I was already with his dad. How can I be old enough to have a son graduating? Teenage boys used to be the most alien of all humankind to me. My hope is that him, and yours, and all others their age find their way to true happiness.

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  26. oh my......this is just beautiful! every word.

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  27. Wonderful photographs Beth, I especially like the bottom one :-)

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  28. So fun!!! I love the last one the most!!!! It's so amazing how time flies. I have no children, yet, so I've yet to experience the quickness of their lives flying by... But I'm sure every mama's world shakes a little at the milestone of senior in high school! (what a fun time for him too!!)

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  29. Beth, this made my eyes tear up. I know these feelings all too well. So beautifully tender. And warm. I'm glad he went along with you.
    And made your day.

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  30. Hmmm. Big boys, little boys. In between boys. Yowza. A senior, huh? The world is his oyster.

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  31. oh honey bunny ((hugs)) they grow up way too fast. way too fast.

    beautiful shots. he's such a handsome fella - the world is indeed his.

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  32. i know that type of smile. it brings tears to my eyes, friend. boys~ they are heartbreakers.
    xo

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  33. This speaks to me, as my son has completely distanced himself from us. He's 22. It's a long story and I'm hoping for a happy ending. Your photos here are beautiful.

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**I love reading the comments you leave, as they make me feel like we're sitting in my kitchen, having a cup of tea, discussing life and wondering where all the time has gone ...beth