June 16, 2009

not a happy camper...

sorry about the little peep show
but
 it's the only way I can show you why I didn't dance at my self induced pity party
yesterday
~~
let's go back a bit in time 
shall we
?
I was a sun worshiper for years and years
especially when we lived in st. louis and north carolina 
~~
okay
indiana, too
~~
in all of those states
we lived in pool and tennis community neighborhoods
where my days started and ended poolside
while my children
covered head to toe with sunscreen 
would play for hours
and
where I
believing I had a little super human in me
would only
apply sunscreen to my nose and the tips of my ears
and
then sit for hours and bake
because 
I thought a tan made me look sexy
~~
guess what
?
not so sexy after all
~~
at my dermatologist's office
yesterday morning
when I pointed out the two spots on my chest that seemed a little "strange"
I was instantly on my back while a needle was numbing my skin
so that biopsies could be taken
~~
as I laid there
I heard her say
results
basal cell
 surgery
clean margins
stitches
~~
and
then all of a sudden I was outside 
staring at the sun that I love
that I haven't worshiped for eight years
thinking 
"damn"
"why did I have to be so vain"
?
~~
so now I wait
for results
~~
and
while I wait
I'll act as a giant blogging billboard
which reads
~~
go out and buy yourself some 50 plus sunscreen today 
and 
apply it everywhere on your sweet little bodies
every time you leave the house
because 
tans come and go
but
scars last a lifetime
*





39 comments:

  1. Oh sweet Beth, I feel for you. I always was hooked up at a high fct sunscreen. Since I'm a readhead, and have very pale skin with millions of freckles. I've bought myself many years ago a suntanner just to prep my skin for the summer (don't worry it was specialy designed for my type of skin and I don't go underneeth it that often). But it sure does help me not to burn anymore.
    So yes very true being vain isn't everything. And sexy....oh there are other ways to look sexy.
    Rock Girl and in the mean time I'll cross my fingers that everything is fine. Be well.

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  2. AnonymousJune 16, 2009

    also crossing fingers that it will all be okay ..showed your post to my teen girl sometimes it is easier to get the advice from someone besides your mom...i think your post sunk in. thanks for that. kt

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  3. I'll wait with you, Beth, and will be thinking positive thoughts for you. This was a very powerful post.

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  4. That is terrible. I hope all goes well and that this excision is the end of things. I know when I was a teenager I got some really bad burns. I hope they don't come back to haunt me. It is a good thing you had that checked out!!!!! Closely monitor that situation okay?

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  5. Beth, leave it to you to find an opportunity to help all of us while you struggle with an uncertainty.

    I love that about you. And, living with a man who has familial issues with skin cancer, I also understand the waiting game.

    It's hard.

    So, know that I will be in this with you for the long haul. And, when this part is over, I will remind you that a lifetime of living well leaves marks that make us distinguished and real. Just like the Velveteen Rabbit.

    You are real....very.

    Hugs As WE Wait,
    Holly

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  6. Oh, I'm so glad you caught these. I had a couple removed myself and sometimes, the scars aren't pretty at all. I hope all your margins are clear and your scar heals up well.

    Hugs!

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  7. yikes!

    how very responsible of you to post this.

    first of all, i love the picture. great processing!

    secondly, i have been a sun worshiper all my life! still am a little, but not nearly as much. you've scared me a bit here. and that's a good thing. thank you!

    lastly, i pray that the biopsies will come back clean. i'm glad you went to the doc to have them checked. it served as a good reminder to me to go myself.

    thanks, beth.

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  8. I can hear my Mom now fussing at me to put on sunscreen. Yikes. Well, thank God for Moms. And skin that won't tan anyway. Hope all is well with yours.

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  9. Beth, I will be praying that everything comes back okay. Hopefully the wait is not too long.
    A great post to help others. I wish you well. cinner

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  10. Oooo, that is so sucky and sad that the sun we see and feel for such a brief period of the year (up hear in the North anyway) is so very dangerous to us now. So sorry you are going through this ugly wait. Know your words hit many of us today, Beth, beautiful lady.

    Sending extra strong prayers and big squishy hugs !

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  11. sigh. Can't say 'don't worry' cuz I know you will anyway, as I do every time my mammo comes back with an 'irregularity' ... but shucks, what can be done now with basal cell melanoma, caught early? like sneezing and wiping your shnoz ... so worry, cuz it's just natural ... and also remember there's some good chit out there to deal with it. 'k? Love love love you!!

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  12. sunscreen yes!! hang in there, i have had about a dozen of these removed from all over - with stitches. i never was a tanner but had a couple bad burns as a kid. it's never fun, but sunscreen is your friend! xx s

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  13. i admire you for thinking about advising others while you wait for your own results. sending hugs your way.

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  14. Sorry to hear..but glad you got these before they got you. An excellent reminder to all of us who grew up believing that none of this could EVER happen to us!!

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  15. What is it about youth that makes them impervious to great advice? I'm trying to educate my kids, but I only have limited success.

    Good luck to you as you await your results.

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  16. You are not alone! I used to try and be the tannest girl in school. And I used to put baby oil all over my body, even my face :(
    And now I get biopsies all of the time.
    I wear heavy sunscreen everyday, and fear its not working hard enough, because I still get freckles and tan with it on.
    I am praying your results are benign and I still think you look beautiful.

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  17. Know that we're all thinking of you and playing that agonizing waiting game.

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  18. Oh wow, how scary. I'm sorry you have to go through this, but it's definitely good that you caught those two spots when you did. I had a mole removed in February just to be safe, and the derm said it could turn cancerous at some point, so I feel good that I got that done.

    I'm praying things turn out well for you....

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  19. Hoping that your results are clear and sending you a big hug in the meantime. xox

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  20. Thinking of you Beth and sending positive vibes your way...

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  21. Beth ... the waiting is so hard ... I am overdue for a derm visit and your post will push me along to making that happen. I, too, grew up doing ALL the wrong things and I figure it's just a matter of time before I'll hear those words too. It is good that you got there when you did and I know you were brave ... facing this alone ... you probably already had a huge group to hold you together and now there's this whole blogland of support too. Knowing your creativity, I think you'll be seeing birds or butterflies or flowers out of your scars ... something distinctively you! Peace ... may it be yours.

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  22. AnonymousJune 16, 2009

    Beth, welcome to MY club! I, too was a tan freak. I can't even stand to be in the sun any longer. At my age, it's too bright, way too hot, and my skin just sizzles. But, do we ever look better with a tan, eh? I've had so many spots removed, I play connect the dots when I'm bored! I pray for you to be one of us lucky ones so far, and just end up with "character wisdom" spots.
    Love you, shell xoxoxoox

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  23. Keeping you in mind and I here yes me totally guilty of not putting sunscreen as well...

    peace to you BETH!

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  24. Beth...

    Hugs and healing energies straight to you!

    Waiting with you, soul sister...

    Love to you!

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  25. OH dear. Sending you all my love! I am going out and buying some sunscreen now, even though the sun hasn't shown in these parts for many many days.

    Wishing you well.

    xoxo,
    Jennifer

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  26. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, friend.
    xo

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  27. oh, i do hope everthing turns out just fine! thinking of you! xoxo

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  28. Hoping for the best! I will say prayers! I burn...so I do my best stay out of the sun. Thank goodness for self tanner...

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  30. Oh Beth- positive thought snad lots of hugs are being sent your way. I am guilty as well of basking in the sun- using baby oil too. Mike's dad went through this as did a few friends and everything has been alright, as I am sure will be with you. The waiting is scary though- so sorry you have to go through this. I will be thinking of you...

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  31. Oh Beth my dear I feel your pain. My body is peppered with those scars as well, basal cell carcinoma reminders of my years in vain worshiping El Sol. Those days were good, but now my skin has all the battlescars to show for such luxurious afternoons poolside and beachcombing. Itllbeallright.

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  32. I'm holding my breath waiting for your results and sending healing thoughts.

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  33. oh no! hang tight beth. hoping for the best but knowing that whatever comes your way, you have the absolute tenacity to deal with it.

    skin cancer runs in our family and so i try and take extra precautionary measures.

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  34. I too have had them removed.... but not in an area of my body that has been subject to sun worship.
    Yes the sun can contribute, but not the only cause.

    take care and I wish you a speedy healing time.

    best wishes
    Ribbon

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  35. Hi Beth,
    I was a sun worshiper as well (baby oil and lemon juice in my hair...the whole nine yards) :)

    Your in my thoughts.....

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  36. oh Beth, you are truly a special lady. Thank you for the reminder and I'm sending this post to my daughters.

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  37. glad they got it all. I worry about that because I once was quite the sunworshipper. but this week, i was at the beach covered and coated.

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  38. Beth
    do a bit of research on the sunscreens over 15plus...Au has the highest skin cancer rate in the world. Both Beloved and I have had 2 or 3 SCCs taken off, BUT there were warnings a while back about the higher rating screens being dangerous in themselves...

    Happy days

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  39. I'm so glad you went to have it checked now and not later. And yes, being a walking billboard for being careful in the sun is a good thing indeed. You know we're all there with you. Hugs, prayers and more.

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**I love reading the comments you leave, as they make me feel like we're sitting in my kitchen, having a cup of tea, discussing life and wondering where all the time has gone ...beth