June 18, 2009

and i can hear a pin drop...

I'm alone
now that the kids are down south for their summer camp counselor jobs
and
john's on his second week at his new job
and
it feels a little odd
~~
not odd
 in a bad way 
~~
surprisingly
odd 
in a good way
like a 
"type of cleansing" 
way
~~
maybe we all need to be on our own every now and then 
to really appreciate the breathing bodies of our loved ones
~~
maybe we all need to eat our meals alone
to really appreciate an occasional burp at the dinner table
~~
maybe we all need to sleep in a bed where the sheets in the morning barely looked touched
to really appreciate messy wrinkled sheets from nights of togetherness
~~
maybe we all need to spend a day taking photos with nobody to share them with
to really appreciate opinions that differ from our own
~~
maybe you don't 
and
 I didn't think I did either
but I do
so I'm embracing this time of my life with everything I have
to really appreciate 
the woman and wife and mom that I am
and
the woman and wife and mom
I
am still becoming
*




26 comments:

  1. Oh Beth you made me laugh about the burp during dinner. And you made me sigh about the wrinkled sheets.... And you made me still about the being all there is still to come. Love this post so much.

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  2. Great post!!!!!!! Thanks for the thoughts that you brought up....very meaningful.

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  3. There was 11 years of living on my own between The Michaels. And, I thought I would never want to feel one single day like this one that you are describing...EVER again...

    But, you know, I find that when the opportunity presents itself, I actually do okay with it...and on some levels like it.

    Because it reminds me that I really did work quite hard to be all right with my own company...that, and the almost made bed in the morning? Yeah, that's a bonus!

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  4. Along time is very important, very renewing, and very hard to come by for a women, wife, and mom.

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  5. you are so amazing, beth...you have found a way to appreciate and gather lessons from a challenging time that life has put in front of you...finding the good to focus on in the moment...being present in your life...

    you inspire...
    thanks

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  6. great post...that's what it's all about isn't it - continuing to "become". :)

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  7. Beth this is beautiful. I think we all need days by ourselfs now and then. Every once in a while I try an remember to be my own best friend....I keep checking my mail, excited to get your package...If I can be of comfort in any way with what you are going through please let me know.. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Take care, cinner

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  8. Great post- I so identify with it. We are still "becoming" even though kids are growing up and our lives changing. I love my time alone and cherish it and count on it to help define who I am~

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  9. Hi Beth,

    Just catching up on a little reading! Lots more gorgeous photos and words, as ever. And I like blueberries, have had them on my breakfast cereal for the past few mornings!

    Fingers crossed for your skin results.

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  10. although i do appreciate time alone to myself from time to time, i am dreading being a single parent for the whole next year, starting 1st july. the news of h's relocation to the other end of the country (2 days' of travel away by boat!) came suddenly last week and i know i will be missing the things you've mentioned here...

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  11. i really connected with this beth...it is a wonderful time being alone relish it and the fact that it is temporary as well.

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  12. You have such a gift of freedom of expression and are able to capture thoughts beautifully.

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  13. enjoy this season. you deserve it!

    i'm enjoying a lot of solitude right now—not by choice. but i'm itching for some social settings! can't wait for the flea market! :)

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  14. beautiful words beth. i'm excited for you this approach you're taking to all of this wide open space in your life! who knows what you might discover about yourself in that space!

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  15. When I look back ... there were so many little things for me to learn each day during my busy days of wifeing and mothering of four to help prepare me for the days ahead ... my eight years of more time for myself than I could imagine. It was good to be able to say that I did well in seeing myself capable of being "just me". Now there is the blessing of Simon to fill my days once again with sharing myself with another. Blessings abound ... sadness is just the other side of happiness and to really live, you'll have to accept it all. Keep living and loving well Beth! You are kind to remind us all of many life lessons.

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  16. AnonymousJune 18, 2009

    beth i so love this post
    kt

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  17. You're such a wonderful writer. I'm glad you are appreciating being alone, I always do, even if its just for half a day. But as for the sheets.....maybe I should write a post about how my bed looks like a tornado hit it when I am alone at night!

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  18. absence makes the heart grown fonder...and all that....

    but you're really not all that alone - we here in blog land love to hear your stories and see your pictures. {hugs}

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  19. I feel the same way. I love spending time alone, away from family, friends, pets, and husband. I love having time to meander around with my camera and just let the day carry me away with the breeze :)

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  20. YES. Couldn't agree more. You take beautiful pictures! Hope you're doing well, Beth!

    Tara

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  21. Beth- well, if there is something to be learned, or a way to sift a moment for its gold, you are the woman for the job! I love that you are mindful that this is a good thing for you to experience...

    *burp*

    Love you!

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  22. This is such a great post. Thanks for the reminder!!

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  23. this brought a lump to my throat and I reached over towards my sleeping man, because lately it seems different and I'm not sure why, but you reminded me of why I do want this love of mine.
    peace n abundance
    CheyAnne

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  24. a toast to your time of discovering and another to the time when you are together again and you realize how beautiful your life is - both together and apart.

    you are a wonderful soul that I count myself thankful to know.

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  25. Again, so much wisdom comes pouring out of you.

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  26. I've been reading all your posts since I've been gone, even though I'm not commenting on them, but this one touches me so I couldn't not. Just beautiful.

    And the posts on the dads were great, too!

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**I love reading the comments you leave, as they make me feel like we're sitting in my kitchen, having a cup of tea, discussing life and wondering where all the time has gone ...beth