when it's not all pretty...

sometimes

it good to be real and honest

or

at least a bit more real and a bit more honest

~

sure, i could dress up this post with beautiful words to cover up how i'm really feeling and throw in some amazing photos that would lead you all down a path of thinking i live in a fairytale, but that's not what i'm going to do today. i'm also not going to share all the real ugliness behind how i'm feeling, because that's a weight only i can carry and the details at this point don't really matter.

but what i am going to say is that sometimes life 

just isn't as beautiful as that museum piece of art we thought it might be. 

~

we have had some struggles lately with our son. he has recently made some poor decisions and choices that have ultimately come back to land on our shoulders. a weight so heavy that we feel like we've been in a bad game of football, where we're the only ones being tackled to the ground. 

not surprising, each time we get back up, we check our mouth guards to make sure none of our teeth have fallen out in the process.

~

i've always had the belief that "it could be worse" while dealing with anything "bad" and maybe that's what has kept me sane all these years, but this time, i've been feeling a bit less hopeful with some of the things that are going on and that's just not how i like to live.

but luckily, i talked to a neighborhood friend this morning, after our paths crossed on our morning walks and her son, who seems to have been made from a very similar mold as my son, 

has finally started to turn things around, 

and as she spoke, i thought maybe i saw the glimmer of a light. 

that light they say you see eventually. that light at the end of a very long and dark tunnel.

~

okay

i realize that no matter what i write, i do throw in "pretty" words. well not actually pretty words, but words that well, you know what i mean. it's just how i write. 

so even though i said i wouldn't, i think i did.

~

anyhow

at this point, i guess i'm just asking for lots and lots of good thoughts from all of you, for our son.

oh, what the heck,  let's go for full blown out prayers.

and 

with the leftover ones, well you can throw those towards me and my hubby. 

we'll gladly take them.

and

no matter what 

i know in my heart

i really do

that things could be so much worse

*

{ps...i'm thrilled it's august, only because this is my birthday month. not thrilled that summer is passing us by way too quickly and the fact that i'm seeing trees losing their leaves already, but thrilled that i'll have candles to make a wish on}