where do i begin. how do i begin.
~
i guess i'll start by saying that if anyone had told me years ago, "once you start blogging and putting yourself out there, you'll never stand alone"
i probably would have turned and walked away, while thinking "what a nut job"
~
on a daily basis, especially when things are good, the love and support i receive from all of you,
from all over the world, is what keeps me doing what i love to do.
writing, sharing, taking photos and generally just loving life.
but
the support and love and understanding and compassion
that all of you have sent my way in the past 48 hours
has literally kept me afloat.
my world had become blurry
and
i was sinking
~
confusion and anger does that to a person. so do tears. but with the outpouring of love from all of you, the confusion became clearer, the anger subsided a bit and the tears slowed down.
with all of you behind me, cheering me on
"you can do this"
"you will get through this"
i woke up this morning believing it and feeling lighter. that someone else was carrying the load for me
of course with all of your prayers
we know who that someone is
~
so thank you. all of you.
for being here and giving me what i needed.
~~
for all of the personal emails, thank you. for all of you who have stood where i'm standing now, bless you. for all of you who have ever thought "i can't share my personal life here" you can.
~~
i wanted to respond to each and everyone of your comments, but i felt overwhelmed in doing so. i hope you can truly appreciate this group thank you.
and
the mushrooms
well they represent of all of us
standing together and supporting each other
*
Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again.The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy. ~ Pema Chödrön
Awesome shot and love that it represents this blogging community standing together. Especially with some of them hugging and some of them leaning and sheltering. Good stuff! Glad the haze is clearing and you're feeling stronger.
ReplyDeleteI"m sending more good ju to you.
Much love and healing to you. I am pretty new here but am also in awe of all the support you have received. It is a validation to the connection you have with your readers. It's beautiful to see...
ReplyDeleteAnd, the photo and quote are both absolutely stunning ;).
xx oo
these are amazing images - wonderful!
ReplyDeletei am glad things feel better. we are always here. always.
xoxo
your willingness to share your personal life is brave & beautiful & inspiring... you are a rare bird who i feel so lucky to have found.
ReplyDeletei love the pema quote...falling apart and coming together in new ways feels like the pulse of life ~~~
sending love ~~~
so glad to hear this Beth! now get these shrooms to the party!! :-)
ReplyDeleteMore love and hugs to you, Beth. I couldn't agree more with what you wrote, too...k
ReplyDeleteYou're so right - this community is amazing and I'm so glad you were surrounded with the support you needed. HUGS and love!
ReplyDeleteLove and healing and faith to your family...
ReplyDeleteAnother of life's challenges dealt with and overcome. You're doing well, I think. Love the mushrooms. They're growing in my grass right now. I will look at them differently. You're never alone. xxoo Jenny
ReplyDeleteThanks for just saying what is in our hearts -- that is never necessary but when it is given, that thanks, it makes us feel so valued. It also reminds us that when the shoe is on the other foot we know that you are there for us...and yes, that is what makes this blogging community so unique and so incredibly rewarding and fulfilling.
ReplyDeleteI'm totally smitten with your mushroom photographs..I like the "group" shot but I also like the lone mushroom with the hole..it represents to me the "opening" for love to flow in and to flow out.
You'll make it my friend...healing takes time but works wonders. ♥
Ahh, the mushroom shot is spot on for a metaphor for the blogging community. Its true, we don't stand alone, and am so glad so many stood with you and will continue to do so. I love that quote- so true! Continued prayers for healing and light :)
ReplyDeleteI'm overjoyed that you were able to feel the love from this vast yet very personal space on the web. It does help ones' outlook knowing there are others who know what we're going through. Wishing you many blessings and peace, now and for the future.
ReplyDeleteoh my goodness what an awesome photo - totally representative of our blogging community - support.
ReplyDeleteit's so encouraging. we are not alone. you are not alone.
You are very courageous Beth. Having the heart to share your pain let the burden you are feeling become lighter. Still thinking and praying for you and your loved ones. Hugs
ReplyDeletei like being a 'shroom. :)
ReplyDelete<3
ReplyDeleteBeth .. just catching up on your posts ... hang in there ... we too went through some tough years with our son ... lots of bad choices ... they weren't pretty ... but now he is 26 and is absolutely delightful! Not sure what it is about teens, but some seem to have to go through some type of separation to come out the other side.
ReplyDeleteSo happy that you are able to find comfort here. The blogging communinity is amazing that way. You know we'll be here whenever you need us. Love the images, hugs. x
ReplyDeleteSuch a perfect quote - so true. Hang in there and try to take it a day at a time! And know that we've got your back! And I love being a mushroom :) I'm glad I can stand beside you in that field!
ReplyDeleteloving and lifting you
ReplyDeleteand hoping you feel the grace
and love whooshing around you;
may it lighten your heart
even while that broken place aches.
One of my favorite lyrics
from one of my favorite songs
(Carly Simon's Coming Around Again)
...."so don't mind if I fall apart; there's more room in a broken heart. And I believe in love; what else can I do?"
Keep that beautiful broken heart wide open and let the love rush in and out...you'll heal up without infection that way and the love you share will come around again.
(Love will find him and bring him around)
Big huge tender hug,
Jen
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ReplyDeleteYou had me at the mushrooms!
ReplyDeleteHere's to better times ~
love the mushrooms.... and what a great community we have.. big hugs!!
ReplyDeleteThis is a beautiful thank you, Beth.
ReplyDeleteKeeping the prayers and love a-flowing...
xoxo
No need for thanks as that what this is all about...Your mushroom images are perfect...I believe they are all connected beneath the surface and are intertwined...love that thought...
ReplyDeleteow, look how thin we all are! and such delightful hats!! ;o)
ReplyDeletehang in there, beth. when you're tipping, you know where to find us...
Such a beautiful mushroom picture! I do love them and these are so different from any I've seen before.
ReplyDeleteFrom your post, it sounds like you are hanging in there. I hope you've been getting some sleep and that things are resolving in some positive way.
Hugs and prayers as always!
Perfect photos for what you were trying to describe. Why am I not surprised. Hope you're feeling even better tomorrow.
ReplyDeletedon't even think twice about not responding to comments: I think I speak for everyone when I say, there is NO expectation of this :) just soak in the sunshine of the support.
ReplyDeletedid you ever see the Sesame Street Silly Songs? AWESOME! anyway, they do a song about how "bananas don't grow alone......" we definitely need to be bananas (actually in more way than one! being a little crazy helps in life, too!)
Love the mushrooms, especially the one with the little hole in it...I'm sure that's exactly how you feel....a dark hole in life.
ReplyDeletePlease hang in there...saying prayers for you and your son.
Keep hanging on. You will get through this. Glad to hear you are feeling a little better. Lots of support. Awesome feeling.
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely image - and metaphor. Sending you all positive thoughts.
ReplyDeleteIt is what friends do, be there for each other, you have been there for me many times, you are loved, and have a special gift. with a heart like yours you will never be alone.
ReplyDeletethis shall pass. hugs.
Dear friend, You will remain standing and I stand next to you. We support each other in our sorrows and our joys. I am so happy you could trust us to share. I think I need to learn a lesson and do this too. Thanks for opening up and sharing.
ReplyDeleteWell Beth,
ReplyDeleteWith being gone for two months and then out of town again for a few days I just now got caught up on your blog.
I wanted to say thanks for sharing the not so good times, as well as the fun.
I believe we are all a witness to each others lives and when we hide parts of ourselves we leave out lessons we are supposed to learn, and also lessons others are supposed to learn.
My mother died two years ago this month. I have to say since then, my father, and brother and I have really struggled to stay close, to be a family. It's been hard and it's often quite emotional.
I know we don't always understand why our family does what they do and this can be frustrating and also sad for us.
What has helped me through all of it is remembering I am where I am meant to be and then I stop and ask God to help me learn what it is I am supposed to learn in this moment.
Sending you love,
Jennifer
ps. this quote spoke volumes to me today and I needed it today of all days so thanks for it.