like it never happened.....

since last weekend literally got pulled out from underneath me and since i've spent the last few days walking on egg shells {see previous post}, i'm treating myself to a do-over. a re-do. a new weekend.

i guess since tomorrow is friday, technically we all start weekending tomorrow. 

i'm going to start mine though, as soon as my feet hit the floor in the morning.

~

tonight i'm giving a presentation to our local photography group about blogging. let me honest here for a minute. i don't like speaking in front of large groups. there i said it. but since i love blogging and think  bloggers totally rock and since i'm madly in love with photography, i figured i could do this.

~

so here's to acting like last weekend never happened. clink clink. sip.

{thanks sweet love for putting up with me on my darkest nights}

*

living in fear.....

she said, "we call it our migraine cocktail."

then she loaded up my IV and within minutes, i was somewhat normal again.

~

in the dark hours of saturday morning, when the rest of the world was sound asleep, 

we were in the emergency room

~

hours had gone by and my medication wasn't working. i wanted desperately to rip my head off. i prayed for the pain to stop. tears ran from eyes. my heart ran a marathon in my chest.

i pleaded. i ran my fingers through my hair letting my fingernails dig into my scalp.

even the tiniest bit of relief remained at large.

~

i dialed the nurse hotline. she asked if someone could drive me to the emergency room.

my rock, my love, my world, my very sound asleep husband jumped into action.

~

the lights in the emergency room are bright and blinding. when you have a migraine, those lights literally reach down, grab your head and begin a game of volleyball with it.

~

thankfully i had a sweatshirt on. i pulled the hood down over my eyes and somehow managed to get from spot A to spot B without falling. once i was in a room, they hooked me up, drew some blood and filled my veins with relief. then i slept.

*

for the next 24 hours i lived in fear. fear that another migraine would strike and sure enough, sunday night, there it was again. although this time, my medication helped.

~

then the fear visits again. the fear that the weather, something i eat, the smell of someone's cologne or perfume, the sun, a car ride, my monthly hormones, using my computer or taking photos will cause another migraine to appear. living in fear sucks.

~

today i'm in the clear. i'm good. i've slept amazingly well the past two nights and i now have a prescription for pain medication in case i ever have another night where my medication doesn't help.

~

for all you migraine sufferers out there, i know you know. 

for those of you lucky enough to have never had to deal with the kind of pain that a migraine brings, consider yourselves blessed. truly blessed.

*

yep, i'm strange like that.....

i really didn't have anything that i wanted to post today,

but for some reason, i liked the idea of having a post dated

september 1, 2012

*

so i walked a little closer.....

and 

scared him right off my neighbors roof

~

just like this heron, i hope you get a running start to whatever it is that will keep you busy this weekend. we'll be playing games and sleeping in late, grilling and reading, baking cookies {and eating them} and as always, dancing.

~

three days of anything and nothing. i love weekends like that.

*

teamwork needed.....

come on heart. and head. and feelings. and thoughts. and gut. and emotions.

get your act together. I'm begging you.

~

self esteem. self worth. confidence.

come back already.

!

all of you. stop holding me hostage on your roller coaster.

*

do you have any games?.....

that's what she asked me. 

sadly, i said, "no, i don't have any games," but you can paint."

she said, "okay" and smiled up at me.

she lives kitty corner from us. she's a triplet and one of five kids. 

her mom and i are friends. she's the mom i refer to as "the saint."

seriously, if you have five kids under the age of 9 and you stay home with them,

YOU ARE A SAINT.

the night before i stole this one to run errands with me and play in my paint stash

{i didn't really. she willingly came with me} 

her sister {one of the triplets} broke her arm. they all start school next week. bummer.

so you've figured out by now that there's a total of seven in her family. 

i almost lost it when she told me who's in the painting and that she didn't want to paint the others on the back. that four was enough. i can keep secrets, so to protect the innocent, i can't tell you who didn't make it into the family portrait. holy crap. who would have thought that a five year old could make me laugh so hard. 

link loving and real life.....

i was in a pile of tears last night, when wicked sumo wrestling like hormones came to visit. again.

damn it. they had just been here. like a week ago. uninvited as always.

they sit on me and smother me and make me do and say things i shouldn't.

today i'm calling my doctor.

~

if you are a photographer and have an extra ten minutes, watch this guy. he's entertaining and made me feel fantastic by carrying his camera the same way i do. on his shoulder.

i kind of thought i was a freak, as i rarely see others doing that.

today and this weekend, thanks to him, i'm only shooting with my 50mm. i love that little lens of mine and unfortunately, i don't give him enough of my time. 

because it's only fair, i'll share a bit of knowledge with you. i won't go into technical details, as that's boring for everyone, but i will give you a little pointer. if you're shooting with a 50mm, your shutter speed should be at 1/50 or faster.

{yes YOU can shoot in manual people. take your camera off AUTO}

also, if you're using your 50mm on a crop sensor camera {which mine is, which means it's not a full frame camera} the 50mm ends up being more like {or i guess equivalent to} a 75mm or 80mm lens.

are you still here, or did i get too technical?

~

ashley's blog is one i have been reading for years. right now her and her husband and their two oldest boys are in china meeting and bringing home their new daughter. you have no idea how exciting this is to all of us who have been waiting patiently with her.

~

also, i've been loving on this tumblr site, even though i hate coffee and this one is great even though i wish his photos were larger. oh, and this song. well it's my number one go-to song right now. the beat gives me the energy i need after one of those damn hormonal takeovers.

*

happy happy weekend everyone