love and other drugs....

happy halloween

~

BOO

i know i've been quiet here with my words lately, but they just haven't been coming to me easily. sometimes when they do show up, all bedraggled and weepy looking, but with the highest expectations, i've been very protective of them and haven't felt like they've been the right words to share. instead, they've needed to be held with all the motherly and womanly love i can give them and then scrutinized closely, yet gently.

when i'm quiet here, i usually disappear from the blog world completely. this time though, i've been reading most of your blogs, but often, the words for even the simplest comments are missing. i'm sorry. please know that i hope this changes soon. come on november...revitalize me.

~

yesterday, by late morning, a migraine had taken over my head. by three, my hubby was home to take care of me. there's no doubt in my mind that his presence and his dinner made me feel better. granted, i finally succumbed to a hydrocodone tablet shortly after he got home, since the naratriptin wasn't working, but i still think he had something to do with it. 

in the afternoon, i do almost anything i can to make sure i watch "ellen." yesterday she had an amazing singer/rapper on whose words and video blew me away. i understand that by sharing him here, i could offend some of you and possibly lose you as readers or followers, but i'm willing to take that chance.

i hope you take the time to watch this video.

i have so many fall photos. some that should have been shown here when they were more "weather appropriate," like before all the leaves disappeared, but sometimes, my cup runneth over.

happy hump halloween day

and yes, in case you're wondering, candy corn {in october only} is one of the food groups

~

the sunflower graveyard.....

the sunflowers of summer have been left to wither and wane. 

surprisingly, they still hold so much beauty. is it just me or do you love limp and fading flowers, too?

just like i did in a few other posts this month, i shot straight up and into the sun to capture these sunflowers...without looking into the viewfinder of my camera. this is a warning: don't ever shoot into the sun with your bare eyes, as it can cause damage. instead, hold your camera close to what you think is the right spot, let the camera do it's own focusing and then take lots of shots while moving your camera just a tiny bit after each click. then, don't look at your photos when you're done. instead, wait until you get home and when you pull your photos up on your computer, it's like unwrapping a gift. 

i love milk pods and the ones we found had seeds that hadn't left home yet. so we helped.

each time i photographed my hubby, the wind swept in perfectly and took the milk pod seeds up, up and away.

unfortunately, when he photographed me doing the same thing, the wind blew straight down forcing the seeds down towards the ground or sideways into my face.

so when i got tired of that, i ran around in the prairie grass, yelling "can you see me now?"

fall, you have been a gift. a gift i wasn't ready for, but one i learned to love. 

somehow every year, you find a way of sneaking into my heart.

now, if you only knew now how much you'll be missed.

~

happy weekend and as always, some linky loving as my gift to all of you.

~

so please enjoy this one and this beautiful one and this one is fun {even if i can't read it} and this one and this one, too....and now you know what i do with my free time.

oh yes we would.....

 i wish all of you could come over and sit on my porch with me. we'd spend the afternoon talking about my last post, while i thanked each and everyone of you for your support. 

~

then we'd drink cups and cups of tea and watch the sky turn colors. we'd start to stumble and giggle over each others words while running hand in hand through the prairie grasses. we'd be nothing but ourselves with our hair blowing in the wind, while being so grateful that this blogging world brought us together. and we'd be sad when it came time to say good-bye.

~

yes, that's what we'd do.

thank you. all of you. for being you. for being there. for me.

everything and nothing.....

now that i've deleted, twelve times to be exact, everything i've written here, i'm trying one more time.

it's not that i don't have anything to share, it's just that i can't quite put my thoughts and feelings together in a way that feels right or makes any sense.

~

to be honest, i've been a bit lost lately now that the kids are grown and gone, i keep wondering what it is exactly that i do now. i know that i can do anything, but i'm not sure what that "anything" is.

~

my amazing hubby has been more than supportive. actually, he's always been that way. even when i come up with the craziest ideas, he's there to cheer me on. he's actually excited for all the opportunities i have ahead of me. personally, i'm scared to death.

~

i recently applied for two different receptionist jobs {something i've done in the past and loved} and didn't hear anything back. you can imagine how that made me feel. fortunately, a dear friend told me, "you don't need something like filing papers and answering phones to keep you busy." 

hearing her say that, while she included

"you're so passionate about people and life and you're here to make a difference" 

made me get out of my poor-poor-pitiful-me mood.

~

{please know that in no way am i dissing receptionists or the job they do. they are usually the first person anyone sees when coming into an office and often the entire business relies on them to know everything that's going on. good, bad or otherwise. i was a receptionist twice and loved what i did and know it's something i can do really well. my friend {and my hubby} are both right though, when they tell me it's not what i need to be doing right now. i need to listen to them.}

so if you're wondering why i've been so quiet here, that's part of it. the other part, is a combination of 

general "winter" nesting {starting earlier than normal this year}mixed with lots of reading 

and way too many hours of blog surfing. i just can't help being completely smitten with all the inspiration out there. words and photos. photos and words. i just can't get enough.

~

so as i often do, i'm sharing with all of you, some links to the sites that pulled me in. today.

there's this one and this one and this one. 

i hope you're all having the best weekend ever, 

filled with football, friends, love, tea, laughter and late mornings.

when i fell.....

a few posts back, i told you about my fall.

the fall that left me full of scrapes and bruises. 

the fall where i felt stupid.

the fall that happened when i was shooting all of these fungi.

well thankfully all of my photos turned out and i'm able to share with you

the beauty that took me off the beaten path in the first place.

i think though from now on, if i'm feeling extra adventurous, i'll wait until the weekend 

to be my daring self. i mean really, if i'm ever going to fall again, i want my knight in shining armor

{aka gorgeous and most loving hubby ever} to rescue me....

or at least be there to laugh with me.

yes. we'd laugh. as long as nothing was broken, we'd laugh.

now, to totally change the subject, as i often do especially while in a face to face conversation,

did you see that guy jump? are you watching parenthood? do you like michael, as in kelly and michael?

do you wash all your towels together or do you separate your kitchen towels from your bath towels?

do you love origins and philosophy skin care products like i do? 

*

is that bad ?

wednesday night i met a girlfriend for dinner. we hadn't seen each other in thirty years.

{note to self: don't wait thirty years to catch-up with anyone. ever.}

we spent four hours talking and barely eating. it was wonderful.

~

i tried watching the debate last night, but i just couldn't do it. is that bad ?

i bought some halloween candy and already started eating it. is that bad ?

~

for those of you who read and recommended "the language of flowers," thank you.

for those of you who haven't read it yet, oh i hope you do. it was wonderful.

~

yesterday

10-11-12 

would have been a great day to get married or have a baby. just saying.

~

in case you're wondering about my photos...don't ever look directly into the sun when you're shooting. instead, just take your camera and point in the direction of the sun, while turning your head the other way. that way you won't burn the pupil of your shooting eye and when you get home, you'll have "surprise" photos, which kind of feels like christmas when you open them on your computer. 

now granted, lightroom was used to make the sepia color, but the sun itself played a huge role.

~

what? it's friday already?

well in that case, have an amazing-love filled weekend.

i know that's what i'll be doing.

*

everyone.....

"everyone is a soul, searching for hope and connection. everyone wants to be loved-

to be wanted, to be missed. EVERYONE."

~

{found here and written by one of my favorite bloggers}

it's cloudy and cool today and they're calling for rain this afternoon. 

in other words, it's one of those "stay in the house, put on your fuzzy clothes that aren't allowed out in public, listen to the heat kick on and off, organize your junk drawer, try to find the top of your desk 

and drink numerous cups of tea" days. anybody with me ?

this past weekend, our daughter flew to her best friends house in virginia, so they could run their first half marathon together.

the last five miles it rained and it was only 57 degrees out, but still she came in with a time of 2:19:06

and i am so proud of her. in her age group she placed 34th out of 91 participants and overall, she placed 1395 out of 2270 finishers. her best friend finished just a tiny bit behind her. to both of them, i raise my cup of tea and give them a huge congratulations.

as always, i find loads of inspiration from other blogs. today i'm sharing this one and this one with you, because really, who doesn't need a daily dose of inspiration of some "new" kind.

 oh and one more thing...happy birthday sweet friend. i love you.

*

the rocks beat me up.....

wednesday was gorgeous, so i decided to suck it up and make friends with fall.

after all, she'll be gone before i know it and since i'm lucky enough to live somewhere where fall is truly a gift...i wanted to try to "unwrap" her.

i decided to go to a field near us that i've never walked before, where the walking trails are mowed in between fields of wildflowers. sadly, the wildflowers are slowly fading in color and drying up, 

but i still fell in love with them, even in their aging state.

unfortunately, i got bored of the flowers rather quickly, or at least had taken enough photos of them, when an "off the beaten path" area called my name. it was covered in big rocks, where fallen trees had caved in on them and moss and fungi were playing. squeal.

i crawled all over the rocks, taking photos of the fungi in every angle possible, often while not looking through the viewfinder. unfortunately, when i was moving from one rocky area to another, a rock gave out from under me and i fell. a full out body fall. i landed on my right side, letting my leg and my elbow take the brunt of the fall, as i was holding my camera in my right hand and couldn't catch myself. thankfully, i was already close to the ground as that's where the moss was, or it could have been so much worse. i have scrapes on my leg and my arm is scraped and bruised, but i'm fine.

but sheesh. why is it that you feel so stupid when you do something like that?

~

anyway, i'm not blaming fall. she didn't do a thing, other then get me out of the house to play.

but those moss and fungi photos i took. well, they're still waiting to be edited. i'm holding a tiny grudge towards them. i mean really...where was the "fun" in fungi wednesday?

*

happy weekend everyone. love all over your loved ones.

failing at fall.....

yesterday was the first of october and i was determined to post something all fall like, while wallowing in the fact that september came and went in a manor that made my head spin, but i failed.

instead, yesterday was a day where i walked in circles, as i just couldn't seem to find my footing

 and every time i looked at my laptop, it laughed at me.

granted, i vacuumed and i caught a few dust bunnies by their furry little necks and disposed of plants, both inside and out, that had finally put up their hands and called uncle, 

but i didn't shower until 7pm and dinner was a bowl of cereal.

at 3:15 this morning i woke up freezing. 

prior to that, i had practically been sleeping on top of husband, 

trying to warm myself with his body heat.

the idea of getting out of bed and looking for a wool bodysuit {which is what i felt i needed} seemed impossible, but finally i managed to move and made my way to our closet, where my short sleeved nightie came off and a long sleeved nightie and pajama bottoms went on. if socks had been handy, i would have put them on, too. 

~

fall, you're here, all wide eyed and bushy tailed and i'm trying really hard to like you, but this is a relationship that always takes some special courting, so be patient with me.

{note to self: get down comforter out}

i did decorate a little bit for fall, so that's a start. 

at a self serve farm, i bought 10 pumpkins/gourds and dried corn stalks to spruce up the front of our house. next, i guess i'll jazz up the twiggy wreath on our front door, but only if i can still can find some fall decorations at michaels. 

sadly, they already have christmas decorations filling the aisles. by the end of the month, they'll probably have valentine's day hearts out. 

gosh i hate it when retailers try to make our months go faster,

since we all know that sadly, they fly by on their own just fine.

*