living in fear.....

she said, "we call it our migraine cocktail."

then she loaded up my IV and within minutes, i was somewhat normal again.

~

in the dark hours of saturday morning, when the rest of the world was sound asleep, 

we were in the emergency room

~

hours had gone by and my medication wasn't working. i wanted desperately to rip my head off. i prayed for the pain to stop. tears ran from eyes. my heart ran a marathon in my chest.

i pleaded. i ran my fingers through my hair letting my fingernails dig into my scalp.

even the tiniest bit of relief remained at large.

~

i dialed the nurse hotline. she asked if someone could drive me to the emergency room.

my rock, my love, my world, my very sound asleep husband jumped into action.

~

the lights in the emergency room are bright and blinding. when you have a migraine, those lights literally reach down, grab your head and begin a game of volleyball with it.

~

thankfully i had a sweatshirt on. i pulled the hood down over my eyes and somehow managed to get from spot A to spot B without falling. once i was in a room, they hooked me up, drew some blood and filled my veins with relief. then i slept.

*

for the next 24 hours i lived in fear. fear that another migraine would strike and sure enough, sunday night, there it was again. although this time, my medication helped.

~

then the fear visits again. the fear that the weather, something i eat, the smell of someone's cologne or perfume, the sun, a car ride, my monthly hormones, using my computer or taking photos will cause another migraine to appear. living in fear sucks.

~

today i'm in the clear. i'm good. i've slept amazingly well the past two nights and i now have a prescription for pain medication in case i ever have another night where my medication doesn't help.

~

for all you migraine sufferers out there, i know you know. 

for those of you lucky enough to have never had to deal with the kind of pain that a migraine brings, consider yourselves blessed. truly blessed.

*