May 19, 2008

broken words, maybe

I want to write the words that are on my mind,
but they're broken.
All I'm seeing is a big pile of letters,
wishing they could right themselves in order to make sense.
Maybe the words are my head,
and not broken at all
and they do make sense
and maybe I'm just scared to share them.
Maybe I'm afraid that if I said what I really wanted to say,
I'd hurt the feelings of someone.
In fact, I know that's the reason
I'm not writing what I want to write...
because of the feelings
of someone
who could, maybe....
read this blog and know that I was talking about them.
It doesn't seem fair, does it ?
That this is my blog,
my place to express myself
and yet
today I'm feeling
that I can't write or say what I want to.
My feelings are still fresh
at the moment.
And somewhere in my head I'm hearing
the words
So maybe this isn't the right time to let those feelings
birth the words that go along with them.
So for now,
I'll keep those words
mostly to myself,
mostly bottled up,
while my hubbby helps me sort out my feelings
supports me
and gives me strength
and helps me lift those broken words.


  1. beth~
    you will do the right thing, you always do...

  2. It sucks sometimes to not be able to say something, but it might be the more prudent thing to do. On the other hand, maybe the person NEEDS to hear what you have to say. Hope you find peace in the situation soon.

  3. Beth,

    I am so glad I visited your blog today because I was just debating if I should tell some of the people that I have met here in MO how much I truly care about them before I leave my job. To scared to do it because I am a sensitive person and do not want people to see me crying or to see me vulnerable. I recently had to finally tell someone that I had as a friend for 10 years that our friendship was over for me. I could not help her anymore and had no more energy I wanted to invest in this friendship. I really don't know why I am sharing this and don't know if it will make you feel a bit better, but sometimes it's okay to say how we feel instead of always bottling it up inside. I just want you to know that you are not alone in the way you feel.

    Yes I don't feel like you Beth because we are all individuals, but I do understand because sometime or another we all go through the same thing or situation.

    I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. I am there with you BETH.

    And like dogfaeriex5 commented you will do the right thing. And you know what if you don't then you will learn because life is a learning experience.

    Be Strong, lift yourself up and keep on going girl because LIFE is TOOOOOO Short....Life is toooo short!

    love, Angelica

  4. I understand that one completely. Since I started blogging, it's happened more than once. I wish you peace as your work your way through that one.

  5. This was lovely and I know what you mean, about the broken words. I've never been able to express it and now you have for me and I feel a calm.
    Yes, this is what I have felt before, it has a name.


**I love reading the comments you leave, as they make me feel like we're sitting in my kitchen, having a cup of tea, discussing life and wondering where all the time has gone ...beth