a little lighter all over.....

there are lots of garbage bags in the garage

and

many boxes of "things"

have been taken to the our local thrift store

and

overall

I feel a few pounds lighter

~

there is now space where dust has been collecting

and

the sunlight coming in has more room to play

~

my studio is spacious now

who knew

?

and

my bedroom feels warmer and calmer

and

the kitchen feels taller

~

all

because stuff is gone

stuff that I thought I needed

stuff that I thought added life to our home

or to me

but in the end it was only

stuff

that ended up suffocating me

~

along with throwing things out

I'm guilty of adding a few things in

~

but only to my blog

{gotcha}

~

I've updated my lists

added more lists

and

even found this "following thing" that looks cute

but I'm not really sure how it works

but it shows the faces of

you

my blogging friends

if you click on it

and

who doesn't want a mosaic of their favorite people on their blog

right

?

see

that's what I thought too

~

so if you want

to see what I'm talking about

you can check out it out over there on the side

under

"no wall flowers here"

~

because

NOT

adding to my house right now is bringing a big smile to my face

but

ADDING

all of you to my blog

will bring an even bigger smile

to

my winter white pale, really dried out and in need of more moisturizer

face

:)

sit back, put your feet up and have a cup of tea....this is a long one

I had some time to think while I was in florida
~
certainly not as much as I had originally planned
but just enough
~
my mind
filled with thoughts
wandering all over the place
while staying just close enough to the safety of the shore
to prevent the tide
from washing away any of the good ones
~
the one place my mind kept going
was to a tiny place
called
change
~
and
I've decided that
when you think long enough about something
you thought was
tiny
of all of a sudden
it grows
and
it demands things
like
time and energy
which I was willing to give since I was vacation
but
had no idea how it would consume me
even once I returned home
~
so here I sit
with
~focus~
being my word for
2009
fighting with
the word
~change~
as it fills my every pore
~
so what did I do
?
I changed
a few things
~
it started yesterday
when I cleaned out drawers and closets and cabinets
and
got rid of junk in my junk drawer that wasn't even junk anymore
as it was garbage
and
clothes that I don't wear anymore because
they make me feel old
and
books that obviously someone else can enjoy as I've already read them
~
the studio came next
and
let's just say
the garbage bags were too heavy for me to even lift
and
john gave me a raised eyebrow as he hauled them away for me
~
issues and issues of "somerset" anything
disappeared too
without any feelings from me
really
do any of us go back and look through old issues of anything
?
I used to think I did or would
but I don't and it's time to be honest with myself
~
some of you might just think that I was getting a jump start
on my spring cleaning and maybe I was
but I also believe that change
has to start somewhere
and
for me it was getting rid of clutter and junk and stuff
that was suffocating me
so yes
that was all pretty much outside stuff that changed
and
a good place to start considering all the energy that had built up inside me
but
now there's some inside stuff I'm going to work on
~
inside stuff
where I need to step back and look at myself
and
decide what I really want
who I really am
what makes me really happy
and
what I really want to do
~
so I invite you to come along with me
while
I change a few things
and
where better to start than right here
on my blog
my home away from home
where I can change anything I want
at anytime
and

still
feel loved
*

ohhh...I miss you so much

it feels like forever since we've sat in the sun together

and

daydreamed

~

I know you're nice and warm

all tucked into your uggs

during the day

and

fuzzy socks at night

but

I miss you

~

your color just isn't the same this time of year

and

you're a little dried out

so I worry about you

~

hang in there

piggies

and

be brave

I promise you we'll get through another winter together

*

I don't really like facts....

I've been feeling fragile lately and I'm not really sure why

~

I'm not sure if it's the pain in my shoulder

and the fact that my physical therapist

stressed the words "a long time before you feel better" to me

at my last visit

or

the fact that winter has gotten to me again

and

I feel suffocated by the walls of antartica that surround me

or

the fact that when I go into the studio

I stand there

and

look around

and feel completely

lost

without any motivation to pick up a paint brush

or

pencils or crayons or scissors or paper or glue

~

instead I feel like the barn above

with thoughts

that at any moment

one of the support beams could be touched in just the wrong way

and

just like the barn

I would tumble down into a million little pieces

~

so I'm waiting

~

I'm wating for something different

a change

a sign

anything to let me walk in a different direction

with the sun on my face

shoulders back

head up

and

a new attitude

~

wait for it with me

will you

?

it will come

makes you stop and think, doesn't it ??

and now, if you're like me, your weekend will feel just a little bit different because hopefully you've been inspired after watching this. and really, isn't that what we're all here to do ?
to inspire and be inspired ?

how do you count ?

I was recently tagged

by

my blogging friend

meri

and

normally I don't play

~~~~~

not because I don't want to play

it's just that I usually already have a few post ideas

dancing in my head

with

photos I want to use

and

words and thoughts that are

making me smile

that will

hopefully all come together

for an interesting blog post

~~~~~

so the tagging usually

gets pushed to the side and forgotten about

this time I decided to play

~~~~~

the rules were simple

~or so I thought~

go into your picture file

select the 4th picture

in your 4th folder

write about that picture

and

tag 4 more people

~~~~~

easy

right

?

unless you're like me and ask too many questions to yourself

like

do I count my 4th folder ACROSS my picture file

or

do I count my 4th folder DOWN my picture file

because

really

you could do it either way and it might depend on things like being

right brained or left brained

or

having a little ADD

or

maybe having too many margaritas while looking at your picture file

~~~~~

ANYHOW

these are my two pictures

from going

across

AND

down

~~~~~

the first one is ummm...

an interesting plant in the prairie

at our cottage

and

the second one was during my photo shoot with my kids

when

jack decided that he'd climb a tree

for me to get a perfect shot of him

~~~~~

so if you're feeling funky today

and

want to play this game

consider yourself

TAGGED

and

play along

*

who knew ?

I think you all know how much

I love my macro

and

I had it with me the other day when I decided

I.HAD.TO.GET.OUT.AND.SHOOT

OR

I.WAS.GOING.TO.GO.NUTS

but by the time I walked down by the lake
my fingers were too frozen
to even think about changing
lenses
so I just used what was already on my camera
my 18-55mm lens

and
most of you know
that with the macro
you get fabulous blurry backgrounds
but
I didn't know I'd get the same thing
so beautifully with another lens
and
that they have a name for it
*
who knew
?