December 31, 2009

it just looks like a dead animal.....

but
it keeps my head really warm
when we're out walking in the park
and
it makes my hubby laugh at me
which sometimes feels like the best reason to do just about anything
~~
ANYHOW
by the time you read this
my packed bags and totally vacationed self
will be on a plane
heading back to wisconsin
where I'll be ready to jump into
2010
with both feet
~~
some past years
have come along all prickly or crooked or a few sizes too small or just kind of smelly
and
it was easy to get lost at the crossroads
where I felt the need to look both ways
and
question so many things before me

but
not this year
~~
this year
there's no way I'm turning my back
on what's in front of me
or
even sticking my finger cautiously into it
just to take a taste of it
like frosting on a cupcake
~~
nope
this year
I'm eating the whole thing
wrapper and all
::

December 30, 2009

I'm not a silver kind of girl...

or paper
or leather
or crystal
but
give me sand to play in
for
an anniversary gift

~even if I have to wear extra layers to keep warm as the sun goes down~
and
I feel like the luckiest girl in the world
*
love you more
always
thanks for 25 amazing years
~
and
thanks to all of you for the amazing anniversary wishes
you sent
to us
~~
talk about making us feel special
::





December 29, 2009

I got married today...


well
today
25
years ago
~~
and
maybe these heart shaped vines have always been growing down here
in our favorite little vacation spot
where the sunsets melt our hearts
and
I've never noticed them
or
maybe
just maybe
my hubby asked the heart fairies to do their magic
just for me
just this time
yep
I know without a doubt
it was the fairies
*

December 28, 2009

I flew away with my lover...








to the panhandle
~~
granted
it's a bit chilly right now
but
this is one of the places
where our hearts feel at home
~~
we'll be back in the snow before you know it
but
in the meantime
birds with personalities
and
baby fine white sand
and
skies dancing with color
are
the beautiful things
warming me up
while
I walk hand in hand
with the only person in the world
who understands my need
to take 200 photographs of the pelicans
without asking why
*


December 26, 2009

a little brrrr......and we loved it


okay
now to be clear
it's not the ice that we loved
~
even though it was
beautiful

what we loved
was the movie
"up in the air"
~
I didn't think I could love
george clooney
more than I already do
but
I do
*
and
fortunately my hubby is okay with this
~thanks honey~


December 25, 2009

tangible love...

how do I begin
to thank all of you
for the encouragement and inspiration
you filled me up with
this past year
~~
how
how do I do that
?
all I know for sure
is that without all of you stopping by here
and
graciously giving me the support
that you do
it would be impossible for me to be the person I am today
~
so on this special day
I just want to wish each and everyone of you
a
very merry christmas
filled
with more love and warmth and laughter and sugar cookies
than
you could have ever imagined
and
to say
thank you
thank you
thank you
from the bottom of my heart
*





December 23, 2009

she'd rather walk me...

slowly
she pushed her cold silver walker ahead of her
~
she hadn't seen me
but
I was watching her
as
she shuffled her feet
~
her curly matted head looked cold to me
and
I wondered where her hat was
~
the glass doors slid open and the outside air caught our breaths
~
quickly
she was heading straight for the ramped handicapped parking area
covered in wet brown sludge
~
I got up right next to her and asked if someone was waiting for her
~
she said
yes
he's right there
yet
she tightly grabbed my arm
leaving her walker behind
while
telling me she'd rather walk with me
~
so I lead her down the ramp to the now open car door
while a man
~I'm assuming her 30 year old grandson~
came around to her other side
and
thanked me
~
she said
bless your heart honey
and
patted my hand
he said
have the happiest of holidays
~
I said
merry christmas
to you both
and
walked away thinking this is how I want to feel everyday
*


December 22, 2009

all I had was my camera...


the hubby and I took a "careful where you step" walk this weekend
on the lake
where the wind was cold
and
the ice was slippery
and
where hundreds of people were ice fishing




we didn't have
a bucket to sit on
a pole to fish with
a drill to make a fishing hole
a sled to carry all the things we didn't have
or
a shovel to clear away snow from the perfect "spot"
but
I did have my camera
and
that was all I needed
when making a conversation with one of the men
who told us these
"are some good eating fish"
and
"they're really biting today"
~~
do you have any idea how much I love strangers
I really really do
and
if my fingers hadn't been numb when I took this photo of his fish
I would have taken his photo
too
~~
next time
and
there will be a next time
I promise
~~
after all
it is wisconsin
and
the lakes will be frozen until june
*

December 21, 2009

absolutely the best...

the best photo shoot ever
that is
~~
the little boy
was so sweet
and
somehow managed to keep a smile on his face the entire afternoon
and
gosh
was he ever great at winking

the mom
oh
she was a fancy mom
a bit stiff
but fancy
~
the gloves
the jewelry
the attitude
and
wow
she worked the camera like a pro

the dad
was very quiet
hardly moving at all during the shoot
and
lacking a bit in the smile department
but
he hung in there
~
at first
I thought he was a bit overdressed
but
quickly decided
the top hat
the bow tie
and
the umbrella
were all part of his icy charm

right before the end of our shoot
while the little boy was busy waving at the birds
dad loosened up a bit
mom joined in
and
together they showed me some of the moves they recently learned
while watching
~so you think you can dance~
seriously
this family was so much fun
they made me smile
more than I made them smile
~~
now that's a special family
*

December 20, 2009

does it....

does it
make you want to take a walk with me
trespass a little
and
leave our footprints in the snow
~~
does it
make you want to take photos with me
while our fingers freeze
and
our noses turn red
~~
does it
make you want to lay down in the whiteness with me
while we wave our arms wildly up and down and our legs side to side
and
leave behind what we believe are perfect snow angels
~~
does it
make you want to sit beside the fire with me
while our wet clothes dry
and
hot chocolate warms our hearts
while we talk about our dreams
~~
I thought maybe it did
*

December 19, 2009

sometimes it's just pure luck....

focus
aperture
and
timing
~~
oh
birds
how I love them
and
their wings
and
their calls
and
how they beg us to look up
even on those days
when our heads feel heavy and full
*

December 18, 2009

I can finally talk about it...

{but first...textures are so cool}
okay
maybe I'm being a little dramatic
but
they declared it the worst storm in 33 years
and
when the university of wisconsin madison
shuts down
~which hasn't happened in 20 years~
well then
you know it's bad
~~
depending on what station you listened to
~when it was all over~
15.8 to 17.2 inches of snow fell in our area
in a very short time
and
then the wind showed up causing blizzard like conditions
then
our temperature dropped to -20
~
all of that in 48 hours
~~
party

the first photo
is our screened-in porch
which didn't take too much of a hit
but
the deck on the left side
still has at least a foot of snow on it
~~
after shoveling
and
watching my son do the snow blowing
I came inside and stripped off my wet layers
but
left my crazy leggings and socks on
just because the colors made me smile
I opened up the door in our bedroom
that leads to the above mentioned deck
just to take some snow photos
and
look at what mother nature had blessed me with
a snow heart
~you can see it can't you~
and
by the end of the day
I was still in my leggings but the socks had changed
~~
when you track in snow
and
your son tracks in snow
and
your dog tracks in snow
it's a given that your feet are going to get wet
and
you'll need a dry pair of socks
*

December 17, 2009

my winter white world needs some color...

I have a friend who reads people's auras
~
he sees all sorts of colors like green and red and purple
~
he says anyone can do it
~
all it takes is forgetting everything you think you know and just looking
~
I've tried it and even though I haven't seen any colors yet
everyone I meet looks so beautiful when I stop knowing everything
that it's pretty hard to go back to the old way
~~
~story people/brian andreas~

December 16, 2009

it's official...

target has all my money
~~
I buy almost everything that keeps me alive
in that store
~including my favorite frozen spinach and goat cheese pizza~
and
now with christmas just
9 days away
~said with my face in my hands and screaming like the boy from "home alone"~
they see me
daily
~~~~~
I have a new friend
who is part of our help-portrait group
and
she's beautiful and talented and has an etsy shop I think you'll love
want to meet her
?
okay
~~
also
I made another banner for a special blogging friend
who lives really far away
in the land of
beautiful
~
if you're in the mood
you can play
"where's waldo"
when you look at her banner
~
inside the banner you will find
~her baby boy
~her hubby walking and carrying their little boy
and
~~
see you soon
I'm off to target
*


December 15, 2009

she wonders...

the grey sky
feeling full of questions
suddenly turned black and calm
as if it had finally closed it's eyes
reminding natalie
of a color she hadn't seen in months
due to the sleepless nights that had plagued her
~~
she realized
the wind
who hadn't been breathing for days
had finally emptied it's lungs in an exhale
so passionate
that it had actually taken her own breath away
while making the little hairs on the back of her neck
cautiously dance
~~
she started to lower the dusty window shade
and
as she turned
a flicker in the street light caught her eye
~
the snow had started to fall
~
and
she knew that even if it came down
heavy
like sand being poured from a bucket
it could never fill the hole in her heart
that loneliness
had created
~~
she blew the last of the dripping candles out
and
slowly
while her hands held tight to the railing
she climbed the steep stairway
~~
her faded quilt
was rumpled into a pile of confusion
at the end of her mattress
and
for the first time
she noticed the edges had started to fray
~~
it was also at that moment
that she felt a warm hand on her boney shoulder
and
she shuddered so hard from the touch
that she actually felt the hardwood floor shift beneath her
~~
she didn't want to turn around
fearful that the touch was only her imagination
again
~
but slowly
her swan like neck
so full of questions
curved slightly
and
she could see her reflection in the bubbled glass of her bedroom window
and
as she reached up to touch her face
to confirm that she was real
there he was
~
christopher
~
the man
she had only ever been allowed to dream about
but
had always been able to love
*
when I toss and turn at night
this is what I wake up with in the morning
~
words that don't make any sense to me
words that stop too soon
words that want to be written into a story
words that scream for metaphors
~
maybe
what I wrote today
will be an excerpt in a book I'll write in the future
maybe
~
in the meantime
I'll be looking for a title and a story and a climax and an ending
~
but for now
this is all I have
*
*
I'd like to give a huge shout out to
who is a writer and an author and teases us a few times a week
with his amazing excerpts
always begging us for more
and
who obviously inspired me today


December 13, 2009

I wish...

I wish
I could show you all the hearts that touched mine on saturday
but I can't
~~
I wish
you could hear all the laughter I heard on saturday
but I can't
~~
I wish
you could see all the beautiful families I saw on saturday
but I can't
do that either
~~
so
now I hope
~~
I hope
that next year in your town
you can be involved with
in order to see and hear and feel all the love that surrounded us
~~
us
a bunch of strangers who gathered together to make the lives of some families
a little brighter this winter
~~
us
a bunch of strangers
who laughed and played and worked together
like we had known each other for years
~~
us
who quickly figured out
that when one of our spanish interpreters wasn't immediately
available
that a smile and a hug were always understood
~~
us
who all ended the day saying
"well, when we do this again next year"
and
"let's do something like this before next winter"
~~
us
who sit here today
still amazed by the hearts that thanked us over and over again
as
we thanked them for sharing their families with us
~~~~~
help-portrait has a privacy act for all the families photographed and we are not to use them for our own use
the day was all about them
not us
and
that's exactly the way it needs to be
~~
below is our team
at the end of our 10 hour day
~even 12 hours for some of them~
minus a few volunteers

and
when you've only had
pizza and donuts
to eat

and
coffee and mountain dew to drink
you go a little crazy
when it's your turn in front of the camera
*

December 12, 2009

today...

my heart will grow
and
change forever
~~
I just know it will
~~
I will give everything I have inside of me
to make sure others
smile
and
feel like a super star
*

December 11, 2009

for my non-snowed in blog loves...

no other words are needed to go with this photo
~~
well maybe
just a few
"who in california has a spare bedroom I can live in all winter"
~~
and
now I want to share with you
~if you'll let me gush a little bit~
the luck I've had lately
~
seriously
I need to buy a lottery ticket
~~
1. I won the national geographic book in this give-away
2. I won this photography journal in this give-away
and
3. I won the candle and room spray in this give-away
(but those smelly greats are still in the mail and not in this photo)
all in the last few weeks
and
the colorful handmade journal zine in the photo above
arrived
from
the warm hearted and amazingly sensitive
~thanks sweetie~
~~
oh
and
just so you know
I never ever win anything
~~
I guess I'll have to throw that line away now
*

December 10, 2009

o holy night...

actually it was during the day
and
ended like this
but
the in between stuff
was so sweet
this little munchkin came back for her third photo shoot
~remember~
where she's supposed to be sleeping
so I can get some posed photos
~~
anyhow
this sweet baby love has decided that at my house
in my art studio turned photo studio
~kind of sort of~
she is not going to miss anything
I do or say
so instead of sleeping
we talked about christmas
and
she was amazed
when I told her that santa can actually fit down the chimney
and
then when I went into the whole rudolph and his red nose
and
how the other reindeer used to laugh at him
~~
well
she became very concerned
about how they didn't let him join in any reindeer games
then
we talked about how fast this month has been flying by
and
even though math is a little difficult for her right now
she tried really hard to count on her fingers
just how many days are actually left before
heaven and nature sing
after our session was almost done
and
she'd had enough of the pointy eared hat that I'd made her wear
and
right before her mommy wrapped her all back up
she decided to surprise me with a few lines
from
"o holy night"
in only a way a baby can
~~
gosh
I had so much with her
that I've decided that even if she never sleeps for any her photos
I will adore her just the same
*