sometimes....

sometimes we don't spread our wings enough, or maybe just not often enough.

who wants to fly with me?

just saying.....

if you know someone full of integrity and everyone else knows that person is full of integrity and you take the time to question that integrity even a tiny bit. well then you're an idiot.

~just saying~

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trying to 'bee' me.....

the back to school supplies are filling the aisles and once again i am transformed back into the young girl i used to be. the one who wanted and needed perfectly matched everything for that first day of school. i find myself looking at the beautiful folders, leaving behind the ones with corners already bent, wondering how i'll use them at home this year. the composite notebooks have beautiful designs, completely redefining themselves from the black and white splattered ones that used to be our only option. the new pens, the smell of erasers, pencil boxes...i stand and stare and i am seven, twelve and fourteen years old again. i won't even tell you what the notebooks do to me.

i have a datebook i use for everything. sometimes i use the calendar on my phone, but i like having a 'book' opened on my desk, where i can see the whole month, where i can see my handwriting and where notes and quotes come to life. the one i currently have is labeled jan-dec as most of them are, but while i was dancing playing in the back to school aisle, i noticed their back to school datebooks labeled july-june and decided i wanted one. actually i decided that i needed one.

2013 had a crappy start for me, bringing with it leftovers from 2012 and to be honest, the last six months have held nothing that i want to carry with me into the future. so "hello new datebook, i have big plans for you."

i've learned in the past year and a half that futures are a crapshoot. tomorrow, next week, even an hour from now hold no guarantees. all i know is that in preparation, because that's what we all do, we prepare, i have watched myself be strong, only to have that strength brought down by a simple word or two. i have felt empowered and watched it float away when my independent spirit {something i've always loved about myself} got called out for not wearing her cape as of late. i have been brave, or certainly believed myself to be, only to watch fear and doubt come and beat all that braveness out of me the same way my grandma used to beat her rugs.

so i've been praying a lot, visualizing what i want my future to look like and practicing patience.  i'm putting my shoulders back and filling myself up with all the self esteem that that seven, twelve and fourteen year old girl was pumped full of as she made beautiful decisions in the 'back to school' aisle and as i move forward, i'm making decisions that fit me. beautiful decisions without any bent corners. 

well, at least it's a start and we all have to begin somewhere.

ps....the bee photos are why it's worth having a macro lens in your arsenal :)

why i do what i do.....

we have barn swallows that live in our barn. no we don't. we don't even have a barn...but i kind of wish we did. anyhow, we have barn swallows that live under our deck and every year we have multiple nests full of these gorgeous little loves. this past week the babies have been leaving the nest....slowly....and returning later at night for a little more tender loving care from mom and dad. the other night, this little one decided to make a pit stop on our deck railing and to say that mom and dad were not happy with him would be an understatement. to say that mom and dad were not happy with us when we went out to investigate would be a bigger understatement. if you don't know these birds, they literally dive bomb you in order to get you to move out of their way. it's hugely entertaining.

the photo below is sooc. it was late when i took it, dark actually, and i jumped my ISO up to 6400 which is something sweet my camera lets me do and only adds a tiny bit of noise to the photo. then, like i do with almost all of my photos, i took it into lightroom where i believe sometimes magic actually happens. so here you have the before and after of my photo and maybe if you've been contemplating learning lightroom, this will be the little push you need.

happy weekend everyone

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the fourth of july.....

{collage made from my pinterest boards}

i hope today finds you eating strawberries, swaying in a hammock and twirling sparklers after the sun tucks itself in for the evening.

it's a beautiful morning and i've been awake since 6am. our weeds need to be pulled and the window screens, filled with everything spring had to offer, need to be cleaned, but first i have to soak in the morning sun from the cocoon of our screened in porch.

my tea awaits. i think a cookie does, too.

happy fourth of july.

a year later.....

it's amazing how fast time goes by. have you ever noticed how everyone has their own way of measuring of it? "six months ago today we got married," "it's been three years ago today that we moved into our new house," "i'm nine months sober," etc.

a year ago today we said good-bye to our furry baby.

i taught her to be a rebel and to trespass. 

{have you ever seen a dog in jail? there's my point as to why not}

she taught me everything else.

she made us laugh and brought loads of life to our lives and we miss her horribly. thankfully, we have grand-dogs that now fill the void of her absence and for that i'm so grateful. oh sweet girl, you were such a blessing to our lives and will forever be missed. i hope today you're running around on a gorgeous sandy beach with the wind in your hair.

just playing.....

i keep seeing beautiful collages and decided today to try something new. if you're a pinterest lover like myself, this is lots of fun and the best part is being able to tell everyone, "you can find me here." all i did was take some photos from my boards and then turned them into a collage worthy of sharing.  i can't wait for you to come over and play. if you're brand new to pinterest and need some help, give me a shout.