July 9, 2012

i'm not sure how much more i can take....

i love the sun's heat and the warmth it provides, but enough already.
granted, i'll be eating those words this winter when it starts to snow and my complaints about winter spew out of me, but right now, i'm tired of sweating.

last week was long and jagged and an emotional roller coaster.
this week, i think i'm back on solid ground.

to all of you who left a comment, called me or sent me a private email regarding sophie's death,
thank you. your love, sympathy and kindness walked right into my heart and will stay with me forever.
losing sophie was so much harder then we ever imagined, as she truly was our baby.
our vet told me that i would know when it was time to say good-bye. that i would see it in her eyes.
and he was right. i did. but making the decision that "today is the day" about brought us to our knees.
for any of you who have been through this, you know exactly what i mean.
{this photo was taken right after she was diagnosed with kidney failure}
{found on tumblr}

{just a little side note. we have always loved our vet, his office and the girls that work for him and they truly made "the end" as perfect as they possibly could for all of us.  if you have pets, but only feel luke warm towards the vet you go to, switch now. make sure you love your vet as much as you love your own doctor. believe me, it's important. especially in the very end}


  1. Amen- so well said. We had to use a weekend vet hospital and even though he was not our vet, he and his staff were also the very best. They even sent us a card the next week and checked to see how we were doing. Wise words... glad you are getting back to solid ground.

    I'm thinking of you...

  2. Not an easy decision to make. One of the worst to have to make, and yet, you did it out of love and compassion and for that you know Sophie was grateful. ♥

    Your photographs, especially the one of Sophie are as always deeply moving.

    As for heat...I couldn't take it and got out of the kitchen...some old adages are the best!!! xo

  3. Hugs to you and yours Beth. The decision you made was one of the most difficult you'll ever make. Our furbabies are part of our family. they own our hearts. They ask only that we love them and care for them. I love my Vet more than my doctor. He and his staff are so special.

  4. i'm so sorry you had to make the decision you did for Sophie. i'm sure it was difficult letting go but you did it with love and caring in your heart. and i think Sophie knew that.

    your pictures are beautiful. they are always full of life from people to animals to still life. you create a world for all of us to see. thanks for that.

    as for the heat. we're getting a break this week. it's been so much cooler today. we had a good soaking storm yesterday evening. what a blessing that storm was. i've never wished for rain as i have this summer.

    so glad to hear you're on solid ground again. may you continue to heal and move forward. have a great day~ hugs

  5. I've been reading all your posts, but not commenting because it was just so heart breaking. After many years I still mourn the loss of my funny boxer, Gwennie. It took over a decade before a new dog came into my life. My thoughts are with you and your family.

    As for the heat...I'm with you, I'm tired of sweating.

  6. such tender wisdom, beth.
    thanks for sharing.
    I'm a bit tired of sweating, too.
    I look forward again
    to one shower days.
    Your photos are beautiful
    as always.

  7. oh, do i know that feeling. the one when "the time" has come. it is the worst decision one has to make even though you know in your heart it's the right one. big hug.

  8. such a painful time .. there is NO other love than from our pets!! you have been on my mind and in my heart ~~

  9. Oh, yes, I have had to make that decision. It's a horrible feeling. I do hope you and your big heart are on the mend. Love the photos here. You have a way with the camera. And with words. Wishing you all the best...

  10. ...thinking of you all... It is so hard.

  11. I'm so sorry for your loss. We are close to making this decision for one of our dogs as well, and I'm dreading it. Hugs.

  12. Did not know until just now. Breaking my heart to know that yours is broken. My border collie, Alex, died of kidney failure in 1988. I still miss that dog.

  13. Beth, I hope the loss of Sophie is soothed soon, for we know she was loved.

  14. Oh, Beth, I am so sorry. And so sorry that I haven't made it here to learn this news before now.

    It is so hard. They become part of our lives, part of our hearts.

    Sending you love and hugs, and wishing there was something more to do or say.


  15. Oh yes. These words are so true. Our "pets" are indeed our "babies", for so many of us. There just are no words sometimes. I, too, "knew" two years ago when the day dawned. My girl was 15 years, 3 months and 8 days old. And I adored her. Since the day I brought her home she has sat in a corner of my heart and is still there. I still miss her terribly but cherish all she brought, and still brings, to my life. Sending you love.

  16. Sorry for your loss, even knowing it was better for them doesn't make it easier on us.

  17. AnonymousJuly 09, 2012

    I've been through this too many times and if I think about even one of them too much my heart will swell up and explode so I won't... but nevertheless, I keep going back for more and falling in love with another set of big brown.. or blue... or beady eyes. I know exactly what you mean, and so I'm sending another big hug!

  18. So sorry--I have been there with our beloved Prince and Brenna. It is heart wrenching!
    Have you seen the little video goD and doG by Wendy Francisco? If not look it up on you tube--it is amazing!

  19. Lovely pics, Beth! And you don't get to complain about the heat since you get to actually cool down in the winter with some real winter weather; live down south and you can complain :)

    Love that sweet soulful shot of your baby....

  20. I hope a cool down and some precious rain come your way soon.
    You are a good, good momma, Miss Bethie. Hugs, hugs, hugs.

  21. :-(

    That sophie photo...

  22. you got me choked up again. after reading your post last week I went home and hugged Rose so hard she got frightened ... our vet is a the best .. when our Gus was very sick and there was nothing more he could do, he was honest with us. Toonman couldnt let go so one day while he was working away from the apartment I called and spoke to Dr Wonderful .. he reminded me there was nothing to be done and I said I knew that, I understood that BUT Gus was in pain and I wasnt sure how we'd get him into the office .. the man said I have calls to return til 9 pm, may I come by after? I was speechless .. come to our apartment? with snow on the ground a foot deep? He did. He and Toonman sat with Gus while Rose and I went into the bedroom ... when Dr Wonderful was leaving Toonman said he would stop by the office to settle up .. Dr Wonderful said there is no charge for visits like this. So now when he's running late and I sit and wait to see him, I dont get grumpy, I know he's taking as much time as he needs to and being thorough and caring .. xoxo

  23. I've been there a couple of times with cats who were so incredibly dear to me. But yes, we do know when that time is right. That never stops the ache though. Hugs to you.

    That little cutie in the first photo is just the sweetest thing with those wispy curls.

  24. Like many others I have been through this more times than I care to remember and each time I swear I will never get another pet and each time I later relent and let my heart loose again...."It is better to love and lose than to never love at all..." Don't know who said it but I do believe it.

    My vet and her crew were more than supportive during my cat's long slow illness...and now that our dog is nearly 17 years old she is helping me again. What a treasure a good vet is!

  25. I agree with the heat thing. It's not the heat, it's the ridiculous (and somewhat scary) drought that has me up in arms.

    You're still getting dreamy pics though. Inspiration through it all. You're pretty amazing.

    Oh that pic of your darling doggie and then the words to follow. Tears. Brought Tears.

    More hugs being sent to you.

  26. Oh, Beth, I've been off-blog for so long, I didn't realize the time had come. I'll write.

  27. So agree with loving your vet. Sweet pictures and love shown here.

  28. Oh sweetie...I am so sorry...so very sad to read this. I hope the pain has been easing. Just know she is smiling down on you...you were a good Momma to her! xoxoxo

  29. What a wonderful life you gave dear Sophie...I can not imagine how hard it must have been...sending love.

  30. I remember when Daisy had cancer of the soft pallet and there was a very deforming surgery that could have been tried...No way, we chose to lavish her with attention instead. She still wanted to go for walks (slow ones), and she let us know it was Time on one of these walks. She looked at me and her expression said, I'm just doing this for you Mom, I'm ready to go...OMG. I do not want to go through this again, but I will, because I will always have a buddy in my life.
    This was my story, but I think you know just
    what I'm saying.
    Again, I'm so sorry for your loss.

  31. There really are no words to say, I know. But, I am sorry. Sending you loving thoughts and many heart hugs.


**I love reading the comments you leave, as they make me feel like we're sitting in my kitchen, having a cup of tea, discussing life and wondering where all the time has gone ...beth