last night
the overhead lights were off, forcing the ebony sky, sitting on top of the black parking lot to become threatening to a girl who's made it a practice to never be alone in the dark, at night.
i heard him walking, but i didn't see him.
suddenly i heard an awful noise and knew he had fallen. quickly i turned around and ran towards him. he was on the ground, just starting to get up. i asked him if i could help. he sternly said "no, i'm fine" but i still grabbed the computer bag hanging from his neck, so as to lift the weight of it off of him. a man behind me asked if he could help. he was also told "no" and then we heard "i'm used to falling. that's why my computer is in this hard case."
my heart ached as i continued to the doors of the school. you see, the man who had fallen is in my class. he's physically handicapped and drags his foot when he walks.
the man who had also asked if he could help, was right behind me as we approached the building and he said, "do you really think he's okay or do you think alcohol is involved" and inside, i wanted to haul off and hit him. here is this proud, handicapped man, who didn't want our help and now someone who has no idea who he is, was speculating.
i set him straight.
i was all settled in my seat, coat off, computer on when john came into the room. since i sit by the door he had to walk right by my chair and as he did, we locked eyes. i reached out and touched his arm and in a whisper said, "are you sure you're okay." he smiled and mouthed "thank you."
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moral of the story.....don't judge
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ps...i asked about the lights and something was wrong with the timer. fortunately they were all on when we left our classes at 9pm.
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ps...i asked about the lights and something was wrong with the timer. fortunately they were all on when we left our classes at 9pm.
People carry baggage. People know what they've experienced in life and nothing more. When I encounter something that feels negative and judgmental, I try counter with positivity. Perhaps a pleasant and knowledgeable comment to counter his suspicions. "Oh no. Actually, he is just a proud man with a handicap."
ReplyDeletePerhaps that would awaken a new awareness in the other fella. Otherwise, your negative feeling toward the man for judging adds to the negativity.
I say this as a reminder to myself as I try to be positive as often as possible but am only human and have my moments of negativity and judgment as well.
I would hope someone would raise me up rather than wallow with me.
;0)
Just sayin'.
I'm glad for your compassion for your classmate. It's lovely.
You're a good peep with a heart of gold my dear.
Great story and good for you girl.
ReplyDeleteLOL...I bet you set that guy straight for that remark! I can just picture you... And good for you! Wonderful story and a very good reminder for us all not to judge...
ReplyDeleteI understand this too well ...
ReplyDeleteBeth, Isn't it horrible how easily people judge. And it is ramp-id everywhere in society these days, and world wide. After my Mother passed in 04' I went on an European River cruise with my oldest daughter from Paris to Prague. My Mother had always wanted to see Paris, so I went for her and held her close in my heart during that trip. I was still grieving, and it was a good quiet time of reflection while on the river, and time spent with my daughter.
ReplyDeleteOne night, while we were walking in Paris, man was down on a sidewalk asking people for help getting up. People were walking around him, and warned us even not to help "he could be a thief", they said. But my daughter and I sensed that he was really in need and helped him. His cane was a short distance from him in the grass where he fell. He was all wet with perspiration from trying to get up on his own. He couldn't speak English very well, but teared up with gratitude for us helping him.
You did a nice thing Beth by letting that man know and setting him straight. I find it such a shame that people always see the worst, instead of trying to see the good.
Sitting here with a lump in my throat . . . we can be so quick to judge.
ReplyDeleteWhat a moving story.
ReplyDeleteYou shared your heart and it touched mine. I am sure you touched John's heart too.
ReplyDeleteGreat reminder for us not to judge too quickly, if at all. I'm glad you were able to set the other fella straight!
ReplyDeleteIt is so much easier to be quick to judge and only a product of our small mindedness. Beautiful story Beth another proof of the beauty of your heart :-)
ReplyDeleteYour story really touched my heart. And, I’m sure you touched John’s heart, too. So glad you set the other guy straight.
ReplyDeleteI find myself judging sometimes, working at a school. There are the parents who are habitually late, those that don't pay attention to their children, those who don't care about what goes into the lunch boxes they pack, among many other annoying things that I find them doing. It's hard not to judge. It's something I need to work on.
ReplyDeleteThank you for being you. Not everyone would have offered help and not everyone would have gracefully accepted his No.
ReplyDeleteYou hit it right on. I have been continually getting weary (wearier) of this judging attitude in regards to things they know nothing about. Good post.
ReplyDeletei just adore how you share a story with just a few words filled with huge doses of intimacy & emotions, your ability to connect us all astounds me ♥
ReplyDeleteoh beth. this made me tear all up. for him, for everyone in his position. bless you for your open and understanding heart.
ReplyDeletexoxo
good for you! and good for you for not making a huge deal of his physical challenges but simply offering help but respecting his answer.... you go girl
ReplyDeleteYou are such a sweetheart :)
ReplyDeleteThis story reminded me of the one my mother told me a while back. Her Parkinson's was really beginning to worsen, but she continued to attend mass faithfully. One Sunday my mom was having a lot of trouble with balance. As she struggled to get to her car a lady shook her head as she whizzed by, giving my mother an awful glare, as though she was drunk or something. Feeling ashamed, my mother never attended mass again. Boo to people that judge. Just because someone cannot balance themselves well doesn't mean they are drunk!! Thank you for posting this. I guess I needed to vent a little, too. Perhaps you saved someone else from needless shame. Bless you, Beth! You gave that young man dignity.
ReplyDeleteWe all judge to some degree. It's human nature. The important thing is to not jump to and stick with a quick conclusion. I'm glad that man was alright. I'm glad you were there to help.
ReplyDeleteWe try not to be, but humans are a judgmental lot. Every time I jump to a conclusion, it is usually proven false very quickly, so I've learned not to act on impulse.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad that you were there to help your friend, and to set the other man straight.
It must be so difficult to be disabled and proud...it must make you very strong very quickly. I am sure he felt your kindness.
ReplyDeleteBig sign.... I'm used to falling. That's heart-breaking.
ReplyDeletexo jj
oh wow. i have a very similar story from this week. mine was an elderly woman at the grocery store. in her case, she was "embarrassed" but i told her not to be silly, and that we all have bad days.
ReplyDeletei think of my gramma whose had both knees replaced, and hope someone will be nearby to race to her if she takes a spill. one day, we're all going to be in a similar situation, in need of another to lift us up.
Great story and wonderful reminder. I have judged and been judged, as well as been a witness to others judging. It's a life lesson, one that we can never get enough of...thanks for sharing
ReplyDeletexo
All I can say, my friend, is You Rock to the Moon. But it doesn't surprise me -- I can feel the warmth of your kind heart across miles.
ReplyDeleteugh, that black hole of speculation,
ReplyDeletebrave you for reaching in and pulling down some light.
well done you:)
may the lights be bright next time,
Jennifer
Always hard not to judge a situation ... but we never know what another's life is about ... I try to keep that in mind. Glad you set the guy straight!!!
ReplyDeleteThis brought tears to my eyes. So true..and so many lessons to be learned here. Thank-you!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful.
ReplyDeleteThere is a tv series called "Pit Boss" you may know it. The people that run the Pit Bull dog rescue are all "Little People". One of them falls down ALL the time and I know she is used to it. We get our life and there will be lumps and bumps. I am sure that he felt really SEEN and UNDERSTOOD by you in that moment.
I just joined your blog.
I would love to have you pop by mine, if you have time.
HUGS and always keep your open heart, it's the most precious thing we have. Lorraine
Your a good one Beth, I can so understand this man...so many times with my Cataplexy I have fallen to be looked at with utter disgust by someone whom has assumed I was drunk, and then you meet others that are interested and kind like yourself. Thank you for your kind and loving ways. hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteThis story helps me to remember that all of us are 'handicapped' in some way. And for each of the ones we can see, that are physically obvious, there are hundreds that we can't see,
ReplyDeleteGrowing up with my very handicapped father has always made me mindful of this. I try to be kind because I can never know what an individual is handicapped with and by.
Beth, as this is Thanksgiving week, I want to thank you for all the beauty and ideas you share with us here. I adore your work.
i love your fierce and good heart.
ReplyDeleteYou have such a beautiful energy about you, Beth. It's a breath of fresh air after watching the nightly news and crying to myself as to what a sad place this world is in right now. We need more angels on earth like you. : ) Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family. God bless.
ReplyDelete~ Wendy
http://Crickleberrycottage.blogspot.com/