January 25, 2011

i know her....

my mind
~not to mention my heart~
is achingly full. in a good way.
in a 'truly i can't believe this is my life' way. in a 'wake me up has this been a dream' way.
~
often when a new year begins, my mind won't rest. it works overtime designing a plan where the things i don't need. get tossed. and the things that remain, need to be beautified. unfortunately as honest and easy as that may sound. it rarely happens.
and
instead
it makes me feel anxious
like i have bricks tied to my feet while i'm in the middle of the ball pit at mcdonalds
~
add my germaphobic tendencies to that picture and let me just tell you. it's not pretty.
~
but
not this year. this year has had a completely different beginning. and my mind is clear.
well as clear as it probably ever will be. or ever has been.
~i am a woman after all~
~
it's as if someone else is doing the thinking for me. and maybe even the worrying.
~
i feel like
maybe
every now and then
i'm standing outside
wide-eyed
in my favorite pair of boots. looking in. my face pressed up tightly against the window while my fingerless gloved hands cradle my face. watching someone who might be me. who looks strangely like me. crooked nose and all. wondering what she's going to do next.
and
then
quietly yet suddenly
the one i've been watching
grabs my hand
and
makes me run with her
and
i realize that she's wearing the same gloves that i am
and
that we share the same breath
~
i am her
*

32 comments:

  1. It looks like you've got all of what your heart desires. Awesome words :-)

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  2. Great words my dear.
    So happy for you to be in the life you've wanted.
    You're one lucky gal ;)

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  3. wonderful colors in your walk on the beach ...

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  4. I wonder what the difference is this year? I started off clear and happy and free but seem to have gotten bogged down a little. Your post lifts me up tho'. Beautiful!

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  5. such beautiful words for a beautiful woman. so happy you have the life you've always wanted and that you know and love... her. here's hoping you get lots accomplished this year. have a great day.

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  6. Beautiful and inspirational words as well as the photographs.
    leslie

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  7. this photo looks like home... such a lovely composition.

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  8. I am glad 2011 is beginning with such peace for you! I've only known you a bit but I adore you so hope this wonder can continue for years to come!

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  9. Way to go. . . and a cute little dog, too.

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  10. a very special stop here for me today .. thank you for sharing yourself AND the priceless photos

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  11. It's the best, when she wants to hold your hand, isn't it?

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  12. oooh, how awesome is that.

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  13. such a beautiful love story Beth...~consider yourself hugged right now~

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  14. Oh, and she is so wonderful to know and hang with ! Yay, Beautiful One, yay !

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  15. It's good to stand outside wide eyed, Beth - better to appreciate what's within. A lovely post.

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  16. wow. i love this. love how you're feeling. holding hands with yourself is a pretty good way to go.

    xoxo
    Debi

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  17. The beach is working its magic!

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  18. It's great that you know her, not everyone knows themselves this well. Lovely post.

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  19. I know what you mean.
    Inspired to slow down and let
    myself BE
    when I read your words.
    Thanks amuch,
    Jennifer

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  20. Sitting here smiling and feeling very happy for you.
    A beautiful post Beth. Glad life is so good.
    xo jj

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  21. You are blessed my friend..
    Katelen

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  22. Hmmmm....this just might be the finished product I referred to in my blog! Beautiful post dear Beth.

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  23. Oh, my. You do have so much to say here. And such interesting thoughts, too.

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  24. I am always dazzled by your photos (and let me say those birds in the other post I just looked at are simply wonderful! And that DOES look like snow).

    But let me say, your words dazzle as well -- they are so intensely personal, so touching and so reach into my soul. I'm thrilled you can experience this amazing feeling and share it so eloquently.

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  25. madame... you will be proud of me.

    you were in my heart all day today. i jumped on a trampoline with 4 crazy girls and i laughed until i nearly wet my pants. a really yummy photographer was taking photos of us from below and the sky was a deep deep blue. the sun was shining and the fullness you talk about is what i felt deep in my belly.

    and this was all at work? and we were really working hard.

    i am so glad that you are so full inside. it is so good.

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  26. SO beautiful. Gorgeous images and soulful words. Thank you.

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  27. grateful i know her a bit :)

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  28. So beautifuly written and everything looks like snow to me lately...white upon white. ♥

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  29. What an amazing start to the new year you are having! I wish someone could do my worrying for me...I could hire them full time. ;)

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  30. sigh...

    what a powerful, soulful heart-poet you are.

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  31. this is beautifully expressed
    and an exquisite inspiration.

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**I love reading the comments you leave, as they make me feel like we're sitting in my kitchen, having a cup of tea, discussing life and wondering where all the time has gone ...beth