August 17, 2010

maybe tomorrow...

it's not that i want things different. i honestly don't love change. but i want things to change.
i don't want to move. but i want to move. i don't want to take the chance of what my hair might look like if i get it all cut off. but i want it all cut off. i don't want to paint my studio. but i don't want to look at the kalamata olive colored walls another day. i don't want summer to end. summer makes me happy and light and almost bubbly.
~
but
i want to wear my favorite scarf that smells like me and that my hubby will sleep with if i die tomorrow. at least i know i would if it was his scarf. and my fingerless gloves that make some people look at me with a raised eyebrow. that look of disbelief. that look of she's gone crazy now. her gloves don't even have fingers for god's sake. i want to wear those too.
~
today
i want to sit in a park by the water and watch people. people watching is something i'm really good at. not in a creepy stalking kind of way. just in a way of being thankful that we're not all the same. of course i'd want to take their photo. i would. i would ask first and they would say yes. they always do. but today i have appointments.
~
and
when i move. which will happen. we move often. i will go into the restaurant where this light fixture lives and beg them to let me buy it.
~
seriously
i will beg
*

34 comments:

  1. there are some things worth begging for.

    xoxo
    Debi

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  2. Oh, don't talk about winter. I hate winter. And can't believe summer is ending. But....no, no I stick to my statement. Hee,hee. I feel like I haven't talked to you in forever~ Hugs!

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  3. and that light fixture would be something to beg for as it's beautiful. hope your move goes smoothly when you decide to go and take a chance on your hair. it's worth taking a risk now and then. besides... it grows back. happy Tuesday.

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  4. I love the fixture, the picture and the words that go along with it...I SO understand it...

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  5. Your words perfectly describe that restless feeling. I so love our summer time, but the last couple of mornings have left me longing a bit for a long leisurly fall..

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  6. The light fixture would look lovely in your new home too. Have fun watching people, I love it too. Maybe someday when you are watching you will see me walking by.

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  7. Oh, I'd beg for that lamp, too! We move often, too. Actually, the loft we just left was the place we've lived the longest--five years. We still own it, but I won't be sad when we sell it in a couple of years. One thing I know, though, is that this move has been the biggest and hardest and best of my life. It's not the longest distance or anything, but emotionally and spiritually it was huge for us to make it--and very, very challenging for many reasons, but I'm glad we took the leap. I hope that in a couple of years the economy will improve, and we'll sell the old place and buy a house just a few blocks up the hill from the apartment where we're living now. I want to put down roots here, at long last. I so, so get the feeling that you describe in this post!

    As for the haircut, whenever I'm craving a big hair change, I go for it. I've never regretted the times when I've chopped off all my hair! :)

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  8. :) change is not always easy or fun...but it is a comin' as the old folks say. it's hard to hug something that can be all prickly and hard. maybe you need some fabric softener.

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  9. I am so with you... I love fall. Summer is a season I tolerate ... fall is a time of renewal or rest. It is a cuddle on the couch with a good book and a fire in the fireplace time. It is a hot cup of tea after a crisp walk.. it is a time to quiet down and as the ground goes dormant so does my restless 'spirit'... fall is a time of starting over and returning to holidays and new goals and it is a time for giving thanks.

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  10. Love that light!

    I resist a lot of change, but recently have found that some changes can be uplifting for the soul.

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  11. The lamp reminds me of the Olympic Torch that was in Atlanta. Moving? Where to?

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  12. They might sell it, Beth, but what if they want your gloves and scarf in payment? Your husband can't sleep with a light fixture.

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  13. I will beg with you, then we can share custody...it's a fabulous light fixture!

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  14. Well, maybe you should beg now before someone else does! LOL I would hate for you to not have it.

    Di

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  15. I think we share the same mood today.

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  16. You move around that much? Wow. Awesome floor lamp. You could find out where it came from or was it made for them? I love fall. Love.

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  17. Very cool light, Change terrifies me Beth, I admire that you are so comfortable with it, that is why you are so much fun. hugs.

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  18. Great photos & great post! :)*

    We were at Cannon Beach just last w/e!


    www.aphotographicmemory.typepad.com

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  19. I'm craving change too.. and I'm sort of lost at figuring out what needs the changing.

    The hair, funny, I think I'de really like a short haircut, but am terrified to go above shoulder length. What's holding me back? Weird.

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  20. You know what Oprah says and I agree 'When in doubt don't'. Wait for the internal 'yes' and that there is no doubt.

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  21. The light fixture makes me think of candles and lily pads.... I remember going to the authentic Mexican restaurant in my last town and getting a big cup of their delicious green salsa to take with me. And a last minute trip to a folk artist's art garden, where I left with one gigantic-sized metal rooster. I don't think the paint ever dried on that thing!

    ... "do" when you want to, and "don't" when you don't have to. That should give you lots of moments to enjoy!

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  22. You honestly just crack me up. Maybe you're too much like me...! Go ahead and beg for the light fixture. It's worth it. Sleep with your scarf and fingerless gloves tonight. (PS. I LOVE people-watching.)

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  23. Yes, you should totally beg for that lamp. And I have been missing my blue jeans for a few weeks now...shhh...

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  24. you hate winter! ...but the scarves ..i understand...the light ...i really understand!!

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  25. I so love the way you think and express yourself. You're a true summer spirit. I hope you acquire that lamp.. it's a must.

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  26. That is truly a beautiful light fixture. i can so relate to your want to/don't want to feelings.

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  27. I woulds beg too! I love that light fixture!! And I know what you mean....I too have many I wants that are stopped by I'm afraid!!! Must clothe myself in courage and TRY!!!
    Thanks for your inspiring words
    Hugs
    SueAnn

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  28. You move often too? Yep. I like you describing the scarf and that you think your husband would sleep with it and I think that is a sweet thought. Not a morbid one. My hubby and I talk like that too. The lamp gives off such a soft wonderful light. No wonder you covet that lamp. Ha.

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  29. I am one giant contradiction, too -- I want, I don't want...I like, I don't like. And het, like you, some things are givens. And I like your givens very much!

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  30. hi friend.
    if and when i meet you, i will hug you, but can't promise i will let go, anytime soon. ; )
    xo

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  31. Great post Beth- I love your thoughts.

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  32. About the hair? I say do it. Chop it all off. You will look great and super sexy in a pixie 'do.

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  33. Beautiful, as always. I especially like the holey gloves. And the fact that you appreciate that none of us are the same. And the light fixture. :)

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**I love reading the comments you leave, as they make me feel like we're sitting in my kitchen, having a cup of tea, discussing life and wondering where all the time has gone ...beth