evening shadows...

it's good to play so hard that you have a difficult time catching your breath

it's even better to do it with a friend

~~

and

at the end of the day

when your limbs are all noodle like

and

your glued on smile starts to fray a bit

it's really good to fall to the ground

while

the moon becomes your mirror

and

the dragonflies bathe you with soft gentle breezes as they flit by

whispering

tiny stories

in your ear

~~

and

your friend

oh

she's still there

basking in the moonlight

her clothing damp from the evening dew

while her fingers slow dance with their shadows

*

help me out here...

I don't know that much about ducks or geese

but 

does this egg look just a little too big to belong to a so called

mr. and mrs. mallard

?

I'm beginning to think there's a little something something

going on 

at

"my pond"

~~

I didn't think much about the goose whose been sitting on her nest 

for what seems like forever now

with 

a

mr. mallard at her side instead of a mr. goose

but 

when I saw the size of this egg in another nesting area

my questioning eyebrow raised

just a little

~~

what do you think

?

am I crazy 

or 

are duck eggs this large

?

hey there, mate...

when I get bored I like to go to sailing

~~

NOT

~~

this sailboat was propped up in just the right spot 

for me to climb in

and

for john to take a photo 

to totally fool you

~~

did we fool you

hee hee

did you really think I'm a sailor

?

it's a known fact that I'm a huge people watcher 

and 

this weekend at the union 

which is part of the UW Madison's campus

there were 3 weddings taking place

while we {and hundreds of others} sat at the water's edge drinking beer and slurping up melting ice cream from our cones

~~

anyhow

I had more people to study then I ever could have imagined

and

I was in complete awe of the beautiful and nervous brides with their beaded gowns 

and 

the fabulous printed bridesmaids dresses which I think were from j.crew 

and 

the delicate flowers 

and 

the smiles that were growing tired

and

then

I just couldn't stop myself from taking photos of the photographers taking photos of this couple

~~

in the first picture 

notice the idiots who weren't smart enough to get off the dock and out of the way

~~

I mean really people

WAKE UP

~~

in the second photo

I think both photographers were mumbling something about all the shadowing going on and how were they ever going to make the groom look taller

all while a momma duck and her babies 

were getting irritated that they're space had been invaded

~~

it just doesn't take much for me to have a good time

*

today...tomorrow...

today

even when there is the deepest of colors 

it's the black and white that draws me in

~~

even when there is a compassionate light

it's the darkness that make me feel safe

~~

even when there is a reachable depth

it's the shallowest of surfaces I cling to

~~

even when there is a blinding sun

it's the grey of the clouds that keep me warm

even when there's beautiful music

it's the silence that makes my heart beat

~~

and

tomorrow

even when there's the feeling of an overwhelming life ahead of me

it's the

 "being alive" 

and 

having a life to begin with

that makes

overwhelming

a word I don't want in my dictionary

 *

these words alone don't tell the whole story

so in a few days 

I'll share more 

so that it all comes together

did you know...

I like to 

show up early for anything

and

be fully engaged in the moment

and

expect the best

and

make boring fun

and

watch dogs cool themselves in the lake

and

help strangers find extra chairs for their crowded table

and

see wedding couples being photographed with sailboats in the background

and 

hear the accents of the french speaking people behind me in the ice cream line

and

laugh the entire day until my cheeks hurt

and

jump like a three year old

~~

most of all

I like to

 think that someone else decided to smile and jump

because

they didn't want to see me having all the fun

*

happy spc wednesday

and

no way did I take this photo of myself 

but does that really matter

?

sometimes you just know...

Just down the road from our weekend cottage is a huge expanse of land...acres and acres of beautiful green trees and plants and moss covered rock formations that have all been left untouched for years.

I'm not really sure what my mind was thinking the other day when my body felt an actual need to get out of the car as we passed this land, but I try to listen to myself when this happens.  We have driven by this property hundreds and hundreds of times in the past two years, but this time it was different.

I knew I just had to have a photo of the old fence post that had blended into the snow covered hills all winter, but now, for some strange reason, was suddenly screaming

"see me?"

After my first photo, with a fear of poison ivy clouding my thoughts, as my capri wearing legs were way too deep into the grasses for this time of year, the fence post in front of me became alive right before my eyes.

I looked back at my husband waiting patiently for me in the car with an "yikes...ewww" look on my face and at the same time went running back towards him so I could switch to my macro lens.  Quickly, I tried to describe to him what I had been looking at..."I don't know, ants or something or huge flying ants" and he asks if they're termites and I'm like, "sure, maybe they're termites with huge wings and queens and kings and lots of family members or maybe they're just gross, but whatever they are, I want to get closer."

And now this is where it gets fun...I did get close...really close...and continued to be grossed out with the combination of flying crawling things and that once again I was in grass I couldn't identify...but isn't this what photographers do?

~~~~~

now here's the end of the story

only once or twice have I copyrighted a photo of mine 

but only because I was practicing playing with watermarks

but

this time 

even though I didn't want to do it

I felt the need to protect this photo

because 

I think I want to enter it in a contest

or

blow it up really big

or

use it for greeting cards

or

sell it to a bug extermination company

~~~~~

so here's the final photo that I took 

before any of those flying buggy ant termitey things flew straight into my face

and

really grossed me out

{and because I posted this photo through flickr

please tell me that you can see it as I have had flickr/blogger/photos issues in the past}

I see you...and you...

the winners are

~because there was  no way I could pick just one~

~~~

drumroll please

~~~

holly and dagmar

~~~

congratulations

~~~

I don't have a fancy counter or anything like that

instead

I hand wrote everyone's names on slips of paper

and

threw all the names in a dish

and

honestly

without any peeking

let my fingers dance around

and

then carefully pulled two names out

while feeling really important

like someone was watching me

~~~

just like back in grade school 

when the teacher picked me for leading the line to the lunchroom

~~~

so holly and dagmar

using my email

please send me your photo choices

and

your mailing addresses

*

and 

again thank you everyone for your comments the other day

it meant the world to me

*

would you...

would you 

gently reach out with your bare hands to pick the lavender colored wild flowers 

if you knew he might come along for the ride

?

would you

walk through your prairie with capris and flip flops on

if you knew he was watching you

?

would you

get up close with your macro lens to take photos of the greenest plants you've ever seen

if you knew

instead you'd get a close up

of

him

~~~

if you're anything like me

you would

*

and 

if you really want to see him up close and personal

come on

go ahead

click on the photo 

you know you want to

I love you guys...

thank you thank you thank you

all of you

for keeping my marriage alive

by answering a simple question

in my previous post

in which

I WON

and

because you guys are so great and wonderful

I want to reward you with a gift

~~~

sometime over the weekend

I'll pick a name from the previous comments

and

because I'm really in a good mood

I'll add in

the

comments from this post

too

{which means your name could be entered twice}

and

someone will win a copy of one of my photos 

~of your choosing~

okay

?

and

now

obviously 

these are the rest of photos from my "lazy afternoon

hanging with neighborhood kids"

photo shoot

in which they all amazed me

by 

just being themselves

~~

now if only I could get adults to do that 

when I get close to them with my camera

*

happy happy happy

weekend

if you build it, they will come...

actually it's more like

~~~

if you ask your neighbors if you can photograph their beautiful children

because you're building your portfolio

and

your love of children far outweighs any flower photo you've ever taken

~they just might say yes~

~~~

and 

now I need your help

please.please.please

~~~

in the above photos

where I got a little processing happy

do you prefer the first one or the second one

?

and

having no idea why 

{other than my little boy just isn't so little anymore}

this photo

stole my heart

~~~

thanking you all in advance for your opinions on the first two photos

and

if you're thinking this is all about my hubby favoring one over my original pick

you'd be so totally right

and

maybe helping to save this marriage

*

edited

I am SO winning this contest and doing a little happy dance right now

thank you.thank you.thank you

and

feel free to keep the opinions coming 

as this has made my day

and 

unless the numbers change

he'll be taking me out for dinner tonight

*

do you see me now ?

honestly

I could have reached out and touched his head

as

he didn't have a care in the world that I was in his space taking photos

~~

he was hoping I had food

but

I didn't

~~

he was just hanging with his peeps

sitting in the shade of the trees

watching the world go by

~~

and

today

that's what I'm doing

too

*

I only had my telephoto lens with me

and

he literally was under my feet and I couldn't get away from him

hence

the green screen look in the back

which is just grass

*

note to self

a good photographer should always have the right lens with her

duh

*

if you'll be my star, I'll be your sky...

this is my hubby

and

I don't thank him often enough

for being the light that helps guide me

~~

thank you

love

for choosing me

and

being patient with me on my ugly days

and

respecting my need for "alone time"

and

keeping me safe

and

making me feel like I can do anything

~~

thank you

for loving the parts of me I wish I could change

and

understanding me even when I don't

and

laughing with me while I laugh at myself

but

most of all

thank you

for

being the light of my life

*

I know this is misty's self portrait wednesday and that you should be seeing a picture of me

~

 but for today 

I decided to share with you a photo of the person 

who with an amazing amount of love and energy

has made it possible for me

to be me

*

in, out and enjoying...

was I the only one

or

do all of us remember our mothers shouting

"either in or out for god's sake"

as we would constantly be running in and out of the house

and

the banging of the screen door obviously got on her nerves

hee hee

~love you mom~

?

well today feels like one of those days

as I have a list of things to do

that will keep me coming and going

~~~

*anthropologie is having a sale that starts today and I need absolutely nothing

but oh cripes, I just love to look in there

*2 loads of laundry need to be done or we'll all be pantiless

*whole foods is calling my name...actually screaming at the top of her lungs

*the sun is shining which means a walk around the pond

*I'm out of anything chocolate...gasp

*I need to make a hair appointment

*my glass bottles are empty and begging for fresh flowers

*ellen is on at 3pm

and 

that's where I get my daily dose of dancing 

and 

usually laugh until my face hurts

~~~

I hope your day is filled with sun, laughs,  chocolate, fresh flowers

and

 lots of door banging

*

why we must be careful...

words

can hurt

no matter how gently you try to use them

~~~

if your voice delivers them incorrectly

they can stab

 the thickest skin

or 

the strongest heart

~~~

but

words

can also heal

a damaged inspiration 

a weathered soul

a wounded ego

a scary thought

or

an unraveled heart

~~~

so today

think carefully and slowly about what you say

and

how you say it

knowing that the words you share with someone

will be considered 

a

gift

that will last a lifetime

especially if those words strengthen and soothe

~~~

but 

if they pierce like a thorn

those too

will last a lifetime

~~~

unfortunately

*

{macro monday photo from a hike in our woods} 

when you just can't hang on anymore...

it's okay to fall

because

sometimes you end up being more beautiful

than

when you were holding on 

*

floating to stay face up...

I feel like I should be doing more

but

I'm not

~~~

granted I'm doing what I want to do

but

is it enough

?

for this month of may

with wild sprinkles of spring making me look into the sky everyday 

wondering what's coming next

I only have a baby photo shoot next weekend 

~if mother nature cooperates~

and

yesterday one of my family portrait photo packages was auctioned off

to benefit the boys and girls club

~

but 

is that enough

?

~~~~~

if I read between the lines or down deep into it

my horoscope continues to tell me to advertise my photography services

and

I just don't want to do that 

~yet~

as I love "word of mouth"

advertising

~~

is that bad

?

~~~~~

I love being behind the camera

with people in front of me

but

I want to continue loving it 

and

learning it

and

not feel overwhelmed with it

~~~~~

I just booked my first appointment for june 

and

I'm ecstatic 

~~~~~

I would love to have one appointment every week throughout the summer

with the rest of week spent "working" on my photos

which is something else I love to do

~but you knew that~

and

I never want editing and processing to feel like a chore

~~~~~

so I'm going to start visualizing more of what I want and how I want it to look

~which has actually been working for me lately

even if it's on silly things like getting a front row parking spot~

and

focus 

focus

focus

which is the word I chose this year 

after I started giving new year's resolutions the cold shoulder

and 

what makes total sense if you've been reading my most recent posts 

~~~~

last year it was

"see"

which ended up being the perfect word for a new photographer

and 

of course this year with 

"focus"

well

I've decided that word should probably be my daily or lifelong mantra

not just my word for this year

but 

whatever the case

my mind feels like it's running in all different directions

over the ice capped mountains and down into the mossy valleys and through the mushroom filled woods

 but with a goal in sight

~~

and

sometimes that's the only thing any of us can ever hope for

on the move...

no

I'm not going any place right now

but

our daughter and her boyfriend are moving out of their old, dark and dull third floor apartment 

and  

into their new light and bright first floor, home sweet home

and

without the help of us and her younger brother and all of his beefy friends

they'd be ridiculously in trouble

~~

I really can't do much to help them

since my shoulder is still being seen by a physical therapist

but

I did get the sheets washed and the bed made up

 so they have a place to sleep tonight

and

I did lots of pointing with the decorator's finger I think I was born with

 in regards to where all the furniture should go

and

I did find a new table and chairs for their kitchen at our neighborhood garage sale

for an amazingly small amount of money

and

when it was all said and done

I ordered some great pizzas from dominos 

to feed everyone

~~~

~side note~

when a child moves out and away 

don't let it be a sad time in your life

instead

pride yourself on having done an amazing job raising them

to live independently

and

celebrate that with them

{so then when they call the gas company to set up a new account for their apartment that only has electric, you won't feel so bad}

*

~have you ordered from dominos.com ?.....it's a blast building your pizzas online, adding what you want and watching the ingredients decorate the pizza crust of your choice...want a lighter amount of sauce or extra cheese....you can do it....only want half the pizza covered in onions, you can do that, too~

a touchy subject sometimes...

my family knows how easily I get distracted

with day to day things

~~

they laugh lovingly at me all the time 

and

I join them

~~

I call it my adult attention deficit disorder 

and

it's always there like a little fairy sitting on my shoulder poking me in the cheek saying

"see me~do you see me~see me~do you see me"

~~

I feel it

and

YES

I see it

but

I don't let it take over any part of my life

~~

if you need something done right or have a very specific task that needs 100% attention

then I'm your girl

and

whatever the project is

I'll get it done to a degree of perfection that make most people a little nervous

but

leave me with an open schedule

 and 

I'm all over the place

but

I like it that way

~~

this is probably something I've had all my life, but back when I was growing up, they just didn't have a name for it

which is wonderful

as my parents didn't have to worry about anything other than I talked too much

~~

as an adult I've just always prided myself on being an amazing multi-tasker

and

instead of worrying about it

I 

just 

breathe a little deeper

dance a little faster

love a little slower

laugh a little louder

and

write a little braver

just to make sure I don't miss any of my life 

while I'm flicking and shooing that little fairy off my shoulder

*

it's self portrait wednesday, but you already knew that, right ?

for my photo today I used the editing program built into my mac and loved being able to get this soft effect

as it seemed to go along with the subject of my post

~~

{and in no way am I down playing ADD or the difficulties of living with it 

as our son was on medication for it for a number of years}

it's simple...

I think maybe I've been blinding some of you with my photos

~~~

for years now I've been getting along just fine with my hp laptop

but these past 6 months or so 

I have been threatening to drop kick it to the curb for the garbage men to find

~~~

you name it 

I've had issues with it

although we've never been 100% sure what was wrong with it

so everyday I would say ugly words

and

then some

really bad four letter words

and

almost daily throw it my hubby's lap and whine

"help me please"

along with some of those bad words mixed in there

~~~

so

 "enough is enough"

we said this past weekend

and

I'm now the proud owner of a mac

~~~

there must be some lingo out there that I need to know 

as I don't know what to say

"I own a macbook"

"I'm on a mac"

"I'm now a mac user"

"once you go mac you never go back"

~~~

I'm sure all of you mac owners will set me straight on this one

kind of like how my kids try to make me

"a totally cool and hip mom"

when I do or say something wrong

~~~

anyhow

the point to all of this is to let you know that I can now see my photos for what they really are

as the graphics and the colors on this mac are amazing

and

everything looks completely different

~~~

so if I did blind any of you in the past with my brightened and edited photos 

that looked fine on the old screen

but would now blind ME on my mac

I'm sorry

~~~

as

I've noticed that keeping my photos simple is now easily done

and there really isn't any reason to dress them all up

now that I can &#?)@>/* see them

~~~

oops

those were my first bad words used with my mac

but

in a good way

*

seriously....any mac advice from any of you on anything mac related would be hugely appreciated

you should have been with me...

I was never told that in my forties I would fall in love with birds

not just any birds

but

big birds

birds that are beautiful 

and

make me laugh

birds that fly with grace all around me at the pond

while I walk gently with my camera

trying to be calm

birds that insist a game of tag or chase is what they like to do

and

somehow know that I will totally play along

*

I'm not sure if there are different types of herons or not and it doesn't really make a difference to me at this point as I have decided to call these guys "the fun herons" as they make me laugh...

almost like they know exactly what they're doing

*

thanks mom...

for not making me wear my hood 

at the beach

*

I probably fought you a little on this

since patty and cheryl wore theirs

but 

I think you already knew

how much I loved 

the water

and

the sand

and

the wind in my hair

*

or

you just liked me better 

*

happy mother's day

speechless...

who knew that a beautiful goose could not only stop me in my tracks
but
also stop my mouth from working
*
who knew that a beautiful goose protecting a nest wouldn't attack me
but
instead pose and look deep into my eyes
as if to say
"it's okay"
*
today...beautiful today...found me once again at the pond, where I was entertained for an hour with all the loves that live there. I grabbed this photo off my camera quickly, just so I could share it, but stay tuned for the really close ups of this new friend of mine and also the "in flight" photos of the heron I played tag with.

you left too soon...

*new neighbors move in just a street over from our backyard
*he works for the same company as my hubby
*their children are beautiful and I get to photograph them
*she laughs at seeing me with our dog in a doggie stroller one afternoon
*their friends are our friends
*they are at the same parties we are
*I volunteer with her in the community
*they have a dog who tries to be an escape artist one afternoon
*they invite us over for dinners
*we have many lunches out with "the girls"
*he takes a different job in a new state far away
*one last lunch is had with "the girls" while the boxes are being packed
*they move away too quickly
*their old house still stands empty

*their old yard is filled with tulips that I saw yesterday on my afternoon walk
*she would have wanted me to take photos

and
on the patio
champ's toys and water dish
were the only tangible items left behind as a reminder of who lived here
along with lots of memories
~~~

sometimes it's heavier than it looks...

it's not always easy to believe in yourself
~~
but
if you do believe in yourself
fearlessly
you will always have a thirst for life
that
nobody else will ever quite understand

I believe
that we are all facing choices that define us
and
if you choose to believe in
forgiveness and wonder
your faith will soar
~~

I also believe
that we all have growing pains
and
if you quit on yourself
even the tiniest little bit
everyone else will
too
*
~this is my wednesday spc for the incredible and beautiful misty~
and
who knew i could have so much fun with a sign
?

and maybe a little cotton candy...

my life at the moment is a wicked roller coaster ride
with lots of head whipping going on
and
if I were a weak person I'd be running as far away from it as possible
screaming at the top of my voice
looking for a place to hide
~~~~
but
that's not me and it never has been
as I tend to take on challenges like a boxer in a ring
so when it's all over I can wave my arms in the air
while bouncing from one foot to another
and
swaying to the sounds of
"we are the champions"
~~~~
the details of all this craziness are still a little sketchy
but soon I'll be able to share what's going on here in my very own
amusement park I like to call home
~~~~
so
for now I'm breathing deep
with my shoulders back
and
living by own motto of
"everything happens for a reason"
and
finding the perfect horse on the merry-go-round
to hang out on for awhile
~~~~
{this photo has nothing to do with this post, but I love it so much....the woods are covered in these plants right now... and I have no idea what they are, probably just an invasive weed, but I like to think that in what feels like a forest to me when I'm hiking, they're little fairy umbrellas...

living and breathing...

at our weekend cottage
this time of year
everything comes alive right before our eyes
and
yesterday as we pulled up
there was a faint blanket of purple covering the hillside
behind us
~~~
tiny violets everywhere
~~~
and
as

I danced through the woods
where the ground snapped beneath my feet

with each step I took

all I could do was smile back at at the violets looking at me
and
I did my best to be caught up
~completely~
in the moment
of just breathing