October 20, 2012

everything and nothing.....

now that i've deleted, twelve times to be exact, everything i've written here, i'm trying one more time.
it's not that i don't have anything to share, it's just that i can't quite put my thoughts and feelings together in a way that feels right or makes any sense.
to be honest, i've been a bit lost lately now that the kids are grown and gone, i keep wondering what it is exactly that i do now. i know that i can do anything, but i'm not sure what that "anything" is.
my amazing hubby has been more than supportive. actually, he's always been that way. even when i come up with the craziest ideas, he's there to cheer me on. he's actually excited for all the opportunities i have ahead of me. personally, i'm scared to death.
i recently applied for two different receptionist jobs {something i've done in the past and loved} and didn't hear anything back. you can imagine how that made me feel. fortunately, a dear friend told me, "you don't need something like filing papers and answering phones to keep you busy." 
hearing her say that, while she included
"you're so passionate about people and life and you're here to make a difference" 
made me get out of my poor-poor-pitiful-me mood.
{please know that in no way am i dissing receptionists or the job they do. they are usually the first person anyone sees when coming into an office and often the entire business relies on them to know everything that's going on. good, bad or otherwise. i was a receptionist twice and loved what i did and know it's something i can do really well. my friend {and my hubby} are both right though, when they tell me it's not what i need to be doing right now. i need to listen to them.}

so if you're wondering why i've been so quiet here, that's part of it. the other part, is a combination of 
general "winter" nesting {starting earlier than normal this year}mixed with lots of reading 
and way too many hours of blog surfing. i just can't help being completely smitten with all the inspiration out there. words and photos. photos and words. i just can't get enough.
so as i often do, i'm sharing with all of you, some links to the sites that pulled me in. today.
there's this one and this one and this one

i hope you're all having the best weekend ever, 
filled with football, friends, love, tea, laughter and late mornings.


  1. Those times when we feel as if we're going nowhere are very important...they are here to try our resolve, to see if we're patient enough to wait it out.

    Hugs to you sweet friend, I know it's hard to feel this way and I agree with the firend who told you"You do not need to answer phone and fill out papers to keep yourself busy"...

    Deep breath, the answer is on its way

    hugs and love xo

  2. Loving the light in these photos Beth -- a bit cloudy and soft and not fully in the focus of being able to say "oh I see you" -- rather like where we are...and you know I get this and understand it perfectly.

    We are at "that time in our lives" (oy!!) where we are planning and creating our next steps.

    Your good friend is right -- you don't need to be filing and doing mundane office work to be fulfilled and feel useful. You have so much else to offer...not getting called back about those jobs was a blessing.

    You'll find your way -- so will I. We'll hold hands until we both stumble upon the "one" pure answer and then say one to the other, "you see? I told you we'd find it!" xoxo

  3. Be gentle with yourself Beth. Keep feeding that beautiful soul of yours for as long as you needs to.

    Sending love.

  4. Quoting your friend, you are definitely here to make a difference and that isn't filing papers. Keep putting yourself out there and you will find it. Love each of the links, but especially bloom.

  5. My kids are grown and still live at home, but that has still afforded me more time to do more for myself. I joined a gym and work out a couple days per week, read a lot more books and I'm trying to find a way to generate a little extra income from home, altho I haven't hit on the perfect idea yet. I'm also doing a lot more hiking. What do you like to do? My daughter was looking for a way to fill some free time last year and volunteered at our hospital. She LOVED it.

  6. Reception work is good honest work for those who need it, and I'd make the point that anyone, no matter what work they do, can make a difference to the world merely by the attitude they give out. A smile can save lives, I truly believe that.

    But now I've done my preachy thing, let me say I'd be sad to think of you working in an office with papers and phones. I can't imagine you indoors for too long. What would you photograph?

    Is there a possibility for you to create work for yourself through your photography? Through your appreciation of people? Through your beauty and sweetness and your lovely outlook on life?

    Have a look here at this link to see why I think it would be a shame if you did some office job just because. http://beyourselfphotography.blogspot.co.nz/

  7. I can so, so, so relate to how you are feeling and the thoughts you shared here. When I never heard back from my application to be a greeter at the Hyundai dealership where we have bought five cars, I had to look up to see 'all-time-low'. So, it seems to me that you would think that those of us who have the wild inventive hair would embrace and run with the notion of re-inventing ourselves when the need arises. But, it's really hard when you can't see all the pieces and all the reasons your efforts are worth it. But, what your friend said to you?! Absolutely. Spot. On. Do not despair...you are amazing.

  8. Beth, I'm on the verge of that period in life myself. Here's what I want to say to you, because I'm saying it to myself. Why take on a job where you will essentially be pushing papers around? I'm not putting that kind of work down, I've been there and done that.. when I had to. You are a creative soul, like me. You love people, you love creating, you love sharing your work. THAT... is where you should find your "work". You have the lucky circumstances that you don't have to make alot of money at what you do. Sooo... head in that direction... go confidently in the direction of YOUR dreams. Find your bliss. The rest will fall in to place. And don't put pressure on yourself, there's no need and no benefit.

  9. Recently I've started many posts like that and ended up going in a completely different direction with it because I just can't seem to find the right words right now to convey what I'm going through and how I'm feeling about what's going on in my life. One day, the words will come and then I'll share it.

    Meanwhile, know that you're not alone in finding yourself in a quandary about what you want to be doing. Myself? I'm exploring any possibilities to put to use my creativity, whether in craftiness, photography, writing, etc. I am fortunate that I don't have to work outside the home so I concentrate on creating a calm home life and continue to explore the possibilities. A photographer friend of mine says his motto is 'make your destination a journey'. I like it and have been trying to follow that motto even during my exploration time.

    And, isn't it awesome to have such supportive husbands? I have one too. He's amazing to put up with all of my 'ideas', ha!

    Enough about me. I wish you luck and try to enjoy the journey!

  10. i was just looking at my florida photos, even pinterested one up. those days are still with me - the fairy lights over my bed remind me, the cup of tea before bed. so many many times i am taken back to that time. (every time i cut a circle from a piece of paper. lol!)

    it has just been one of those years, and it feels like so many of us have become quieter and no way do i think this is a bad thing. sometimes we need to breathe and think. or not think, as the case may be.

    so. i just wanted to say you are the best ever at making people feel welcome, wanted, relaxed (even us crazy ones). you can even make people jump! it is a gift - you are a gift. an idea will come, and it will be one that has been waiting for you to find it.

    much love.

  11. wow...that sweet and sour site
    kinda bowls me over
    with goodness! thanks, Beth!

    and I get where you are and send
    love and hopeful hugs.

    you're beautiful exactly where you are:)

  12. I always love your posts. So refreshingly honest. Also love your shares! Funny thing. This time around it's all Tumblr. Tumbler pages have been falling into my lap (er... onto my screen) lately. I have to admit, I'm unfamiliar with what it is and how it works. Is it photo blogs? The ones you shared are lovely! Just not sure what the point of Tumblr is. Insight?

    Great friend you have with great advice.
    "you're so passionate about people and life and you're here to make a difference"

    I agree completely.

  13. wow! did you do editing to get that effect? they are marvelous!
    I have conversations with myself close to what you shared. I thought that when I retired, days would move like a snail, but no! how does one get to such an age and not realize that time continues to buzz by? but every time, I wonder what I should be doing (other than how my day), I am called upon to help somebody in my family in either a perceived crisis or a real one, then I KNOW why I'm here. I hope that you will become less critical of yourself and more accepting that you are doing exactly what you should be doing because you are a gift to us. I know it's so much easier to give advice than it is taking it. God knows that I've been there. ~hugs~

  14. oh beth, i agree, you are here to make a difference and i feel that includes your beautiful gift as photographer somehow too. i just feel it. xx s

  15. I wondered where you had been and I want you to know how much I care. Your images inspire me - and I love your linky loves. I had a wonderful weekend in Baltimore at my niece's wedding reception with my sons. Lots and lots of love all around me.

  16. This questioning time makes such sense, with all the changes that have come in the last little while for you. I know one thing for sure. You have so much passion for life and such a natural curiousity for how people work. Those are gifts that the world needs. Not to mention your kind, generous heart. Keeping asking for what you need. The answer is on its way.
    Light and love and happy cozy weekend to you !

  17. I so understand where you are at. I've been quiet a lot too because of feeling so lost and trying to find purpose. Go for it... follow your heart.

  18. Nice quiet photos. I also recently am an empty nester, and yes, it is definitely different, in a way that I can't find words for either, like, my job is now done and it really doesn't matter now what happens to me.

  19. oh Beth.....I have been a silent commenter lately....now ready to reach out.
    Debi nailed it about YOU....
    (with fond Florida memories)
    rest and be well......nesting and resting time of year!

  20. nesting is a good thing. I hope you are having a wonderful nest, just enjoying life and the world! And yes, everyone has something that is right for them. You'll find yours. Perhaps it's just hidden under all the leaves!

  21. Awww, Beth, thank you for sharing! Sorry you are struggling a bit, but I'm sure it's perfectly normal to feel a little lost when a new phase of life begins. You will figure it out. For some reason I thought photography was a full time job for you. In any case, you are bright and creative and funny and sweet. It'll get better! Hang in there. Hugs!

  22. I feel you, Beth...from a fellow empty-nester. :)

  23. I'm feeling the whisper of an empty nest with a sixteen-year-old getting ready to take flight. My suggestion: take pictures, make art, take walks, and read. Not necessarily in that order.

  24. I love these softly processed photos!

    Although I'm quite a bit older than you I am at a similar crossroads it seems...now that I'm rarely needed to babysit I'm looking around for "what's next". It never ends! You seem like such a creative person I am sure that something just right will come your way at the right time:)

  25. Your friend gave you solid advice. Good luck as you begin the next part of your life's story--don't settle for a continuation of the first part!

  26. I really like what Anyes had to say- I do think the answer is in the waiting and it will come. What has happened to your idea of hosting a photo workshop? Any thoughts on that? Or have you entertained the idea of going to another writer's conference? I know the last one I recall you going to, really inspired you... and ha- me too :) Hugs sweet friend-

  27. our kids were here for the weekend, and it is so different when they are here and then they are gone... it's a big, big change.

    but you will find the just-perfect thing to put all of your wonderful talents to use.

    and me, too, with the winter nesting thing. it started really early this year. here's hoping that doesn't mean it's going to be an extra snowy winter!!

  28. Hi Beth, It's good to see you post.
    I've been away too long and just caught up on your older posts and I am so very, very sorry about your nephew. There are no words to express how sad I am for you and your family. Prayers are sent your way.

    And, I hear you about wondering what you should be doing now that the kids are grown. I'm still searching for that answer 4 years after I stopped working. Although that's different from you I think they might be alike a little too. I miss the "routine" of life when I had a schedule to guide me. Now I'm kind of all over the place from one day to the next even though my days are full and I'm involved on Boards and with friends and family. We're lucky not to "have to" work but figuring it out takes some time.

    hang in there. xoxo jj

  29. Just thinking of you - that's all! xxx

  30. Fabulous shots! Keep well.

  31. you will find the right path... hopefully one that uses your unique gifts. (have you ever thought about publishing a small coffee table book of your photos, through amazon? look into it. read about the authors who have been supporting themselves very effectively through kindle publishing - it's amazing, really. and you have a good social network presence already, so you would have a built-in fan base. most conventional publishers give you less than 10% profits and don't promote unknowns very effectively, while amazon gives you something like a 70% return and has some effective promotional strategies.)

  32. Sometimes you just need time for reflection and refocus. It sounds like you will do well in whatever you do--and everyone will love you. Have a happy, blessed day.

  33. I knew an office clerk. An office clerk was a good friend of mine. I'm a huge fan of office clerks.
    Beth, you're no office clerk.

    You'll figure it out. I'm a BIG believer in "everything happens for a reason."

  34. never had kids so i don't miss having them at this point in my life ... tho i do understand how you and other friends whose kids have left home feel. You could always volunteer at an animal shelter or hospice or even the library ... but i think you need to set yourself some photo goals like you did on your birthday .. you rock that camera .. so go out and rock it some more!

  35. well, if your newer posts are any indication,
    you seem to be doing better! :)

    empty nesting is heart breaking . . . until
    you learn to enjoy it. i think i am more
    content than at any other time in my life.

    but, i get very excited when my chicks
    hop back into the nest from time to time.

  36. Oh my friend. If only hugs could heal I'll send over a bunch. But you know what things work their way out for a reason. Doors and windows shut on one end and at the other beautiful ones will open themselfs.
    Be well and look through your amazing lens so you can be with people. Couse your so darn good at taking pictures of people there must be waiting something beautiful around the corner for you in photography.

    Stay well and be blessed my friend.
    Hugs Dagmar

  37. The empty nesting is hard, isn't it? I can imagine.

    Thinking of you...


**I love reading the comments you leave, as they make me feel like we're sitting in my kitchen, having a cup of tea, discussing life and wondering where all the time has gone ...beth