June 25, 2008

tears and sadness

I wasn't sure if I wanted to write about this
to share it
and
cry about it again
but I can see
that
my mind won't ever let it go
completely
and then
I decided that maybe letting the words
and feelings spill out of me
would soothe my soul
at least
a little
~~~~~
10 days ago
a friend
someone who I knew
while we lived in Indiana
took her own life
~~~~~
she wasn't my best friend
I didn't see her everyday
she never ate a meal at my house
but
she was part of our group
our group
of friends
where we were the stay at home moms
who belonged to women's club
and went to parties
together
~~~~~
she was a mom
who devoted herself to her children
a loving wife
a daughter
and a friend
~~~~~
and then one day
for reasons no one will ever know
she decided
that her life
just wasn't worth living anymore
~~~~~
my thoughts and prayers
are with her husband and children
~~~~~
as
we all try to understand
the sadness of it all
and the fact that
a hole
has been made
in the cover
we call life

11 comments:

  1. oh beth~
    i am so sorry .....
    you are in my heart sweetie....
    xox

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  2. There are no words to say to bring comfort, I do know that.

    And, yet...

    I just had to say this

    I'm here. I'm listening. I hope that might help, even just a little.

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  3. That is an anguish like no other -- just a hollow 'why' that goes on & on. I'm so sad - for her, her family, for you.

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  4. I wrote two paragraphs and then erased them. I wish I could do the same for your pain. It is indeed difficult to describe or make sense of why we grieve so hard when someone CHOOSES to go.

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  5. sperlygirlJune 27, 2008

    i am so sorry...it is so difficult sometimes to understand the burdens we all carry. and even more to understand those whose burdens run so deep. a heartbreak but also perhaps a reminder to us all to hold on to the wonder of life - in all the forms she may appear to us.

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  6. That is just awful. I am so sorry to hear of this. Even though I didn't know this woman, we are a community of women and if by chance we had ever met, I am sure we would have things in common, things to laugh about, things to share.....

    It is so important to talk about our feelings and support one another.

    Hugs.....

    Laura

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  7. Oh, Beth, I'm so deeply saddened to read this and I thank you for sharing it with us. There are few words one can say and none that take away the pain, much as we wish they could, or help one understand which is completely un-understandable. But to speak of this, and to share and to remember as you have here, is the first step to healing yourself. It is powerful, brave and courageous. My heart is with you.

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  8. How tragic! How sad. Anger. Frustration. Of not knowing. Of having the opportunity stolen to having maybe said something encouraging. To her. To keep her living and thinking and holding on to her family and herself a little longer.

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  9. This brought such sadness to me, to hear of this.
    Those wounds, the holes in our lives it leaves, they always stay with us in some way I think.
    I hope that for you, some respite was found in writing these words, a comfort.
    And for what it is worth, I'm here, listening, honoring the tears.

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**I love reading the comments you leave, as they make me feel like we're sitting in my kitchen, having a cup of tea, discussing life and wondering where all the time has gone ...beth