it just looks like a dead animal.....

but

it keeps my head really warm

when we're out walking in the park

and

it makes my hubby laugh at me

which sometimes feels like the best reason to do just about anything

~~

ANYHOW

by the time you read this

my packed bags and totally vacationed self

will be on a plane

heading back to wisconsin

where I'll be ready to jump into

2010

with both feet

~~

some past years

have come along all prickly or crooked or a few sizes too small or just kind of smelly

and

it was easy to get lost at the crossroads

where I felt the need to look both ways

and

question so many things before me

but

not this year

~~

this year

there's no way I'm turning my back

on what's in front of me

or

even sticking my finger cautiously into it

just to take a taste of it

like frosting on a cupcake

~~

nope

this year

I'm eating the whole thing

wrapper and all

::

I'm not a silver kind of girl...

or paper

or leather

or crystal

but

give me sand to play in

for

an anniversary gift

~even if I have to wear extra layers to keep warm as the sun goes down~

and

I feel like the luckiest girl in the world

*

love you more

always

thanks for 25 amazing years

~

and

thanks to all of you for the amazing anniversary wishes

you sent

to us

~~

talk about making us feel special

::

I got married today...

well

today

25

years ago

~~

and

maybe these heart shaped vines have always been growing down here

in our favorite little vacation spot

where the sunsets melt our hearts

and

I've never noticed them

or

maybe

just maybe

my hubby asked the heart fairies to do their magic

just for me

just this time

yep

I know without a doubt

it was the fairies

*

I flew away with my lover...

to the panhandle

~~

granted

it's a bit chilly right now

but

this is one of the places

where our hearts feel at home

~~

we'll be back in the snow before you know it

but

in the meantime

birds with personalities

and

baby fine white sand

and

skies dancing with color

are

the beautiful things

warming me up

while

I walk hand in hand

with the only person in the world

who understands my need

to take 200 photographs of the pelicans

without asking why

*

a little brrrr......and we loved it

okay

now to be clear

it's not the ice that we loved

~

even though it was

beautiful

what we loved

was the movie

"up in the air"

~

I didn't think I could love

george clooney

more than I already do

but

I do

*

and

fortunately my hubby is okay with this

~thanks honey~

tangible love...

how do I begin

to thank all of you

for the encouragement and inspiration

you filled me up with

this past year

~~

how

how do I do that

?

all I know for sure

is that without all of you stopping by here

and

graciously giving me the support

that you do

it would be impossible for me to be the person I am today

~

so on this special day

I just want to wish each and everyone of you

a

very merry christmas

filled

with more love and warmth and laughter and sugar cookies

than

you could have ever imagined

and

to say

thank you

thank you

thank you

from the bottom of my heart

*

she'd rather walk me...

slowly

she pushed her cold silver walker ahead of her

~

she hadn't seen me

but

I was watching her

as

she shuffled her feet

~

her curly matted head looked cold to me

and

I wondered where her hat was

~

the glass doors slid open and the outside air caught our breaths

~

quickly

she was heading straight for the ramped handicapped parking area

covered in wet brown sludge

~

I got up right next to her and asked if someone was waiting for her

~

she said

yes

he's right there

yet

she tightly grabbed my arm

leaving her walker behind

while

telling me she'd rather walk with me

~

so I lead her down the ramp to the now open car door

while a man

~I'm assuming her 30 year old grandson~

came around to her other side

and

thanked me

~

she said

bless your heart honey

and

patted my hand

he said

have the happiest of holidays

~

I said

merry christmas

to you both

and

walked away thinking this is how I want to feel everyday

*

all I had was my camera...

the hubby and I took a "careful where you step" walk this weekend

on the lake

where the wind was cold

and

the ice was slippery

and

where hundreds of people were ice fishing

we didn't have

a bucket to sit on

a pole to fish with

a drill to make a fishing hole

a sled to carry all the things we didn't have

or

a shovel to clear away snow from the perfect "spot"

but

I did have my camera

and

that was all I needed

when making a conversation with one of the men

who told us these

"are some good eating fish"

and

"they're really biting today"

~~

do you have any idea how much I love strangers

I really really do

and

if my fingers hadn't been numb when I took this photo of his fish

I would have taken his photo

too

~~

next time

and

there will be a next time

I promise

~~

after all

it is wisconsin

and

the lakes will be frozen until june

*

absolutely the best...

the best photo shoot ever

that is

~~

the little boy

was so sweet

and

somehow managed to keep a smile on his face the entire afternoon

and

gosh

was he ever great at winking

the mom

oh

she was a fancy mom

a bit stiff

but fancy

~

the gloves

the jewelry

the attitude

and

wow

she worked the camera like a pro

the dad

was very quiet

hardly moving at all during the shoot

and

lacking a bit in the smile department

but

he hung in there

~

at first

I thought he was a bit overdressed

but

quickly decided

the top hat

the bow tie

and

the umbrella

were all part of his icy charm

right before the end of our shoot

while the little boy was busy waving at the birds

dad loosened up a bit

mom joined in

and

together they showed me some of the moves they recently learned

while watching

~so you think you can dance~

seriously

this family was so much fun

they made me smile

more than I made them smile

~~

now that's a special family

*

does it....

does it

make you want to take a walk with me

trespass a little

and

leave our footprints in the snow

~~

does it

make you want to take photos with me

while our fingers freeze

and

our noses turn red

~~

does it

make you want to lay down in the whiteness with me

while we wave our arms wildly up and down and our legs side to side

and

leave behind what we believe are perfect snow angels

~~

does it

make you want to sit beside the fire with me

while our wet clothes dry

and

hot chocolate warms our hearts

while we talk about our dreams

~~

I thought maybe it did

*

sometimes it's just pure luck....

focus

aperture

and

timing

~~

oh

birds

how I love them

and

their wings

and

their calls

and

how they beg us to look up

even on those days

when our heads feel heavy and full

*

I can finally talk about it...

{but first...textures are so cool}

okay

maybe I'm being a little dramatic

but

they declared it the worst storm in 33 years

and

when the university of wisconsin madison

shuts down

~which hasn't happened in 20 years~

well then

you know it's bad

~~

depending on what station you listened to

~when it was all over~

15.8 to 17.2 inches of snow fell in our area

in a very short time

and

then the wind showed up causing blizzard like conditions

then

our temperature dropped to -20

~

all of that in 48 hours

~~

party

the first photo

is our screened-in porch

which didn't take too much of a hit

but

the deck on the left side

still has at least a foot of snow on it

~~

after shoveling

and

watching my son do the snow blowing

I came inside and stripped off my wet layers

but

left my crazy leggings and socks on

just because the colors made me smile

I opened up the door in our bedroom

that leads to the above mentioned deck

just to take some snow photos

and

look at what mother nature had blessed me with

a snow heart

~you can see it can't you~

and

by the end of the day

I was still in my leggings but the socks had changed

~~

when you track in snow

and

your son tracks in snow

and

your dog tracks in snow

it's a given that your feet are going to get wet

and

you'll need a dry pair of socks

*

my winter white world needs some color...

I have a friend who reads people's auras

~

he sees all sorts of colors like green and red and purple

~

he says anyone can do it

~

all it takes is forgetting everything you think you know and just looking

~

I've tried it and even though I haven't seen any colors yet

everyone I meet looks so beautiful when I stop knowing everything

that it's pretty hard to go back to the old way

~~

~story people/brian andreas~

it's official...

target has all my money

~~

I buy almost everything that keeps me alive

in that store

~including my favorite frozen spinach and goat cheese pizza~

and

now with christmas just

9 days away

~said with my face in my hands and screaming like the boy from "home alone"~

they see me

daily

~~~~~

I have a new friend

who is part of our help-portrait group

and

she's beautiful and talented and has an etsy shop I think you'll love

want to meet her

?

okay

here she is

~~

also

I made another banner for a special blogging friend

who lives really far away

in the land of

beautiful

~

if you're in the mood

you can play

"where's waldo"

when you look at her banner

~

inside the banner you will find

~her baby boy

~her hubby walking and carrying their little boy

and

~suzanne herself

~~

see you soon

I'm off to target

*

she wonders...

the grey sky

feeling full of questions

suddenly turned black and calm

as if it had finally closed it's eyes

reminding natalie

of a color she hadn't seen in months

due to the sleepless nights that had plagued her

~~

she realized

the wind

who hadn't been breathing for days

had finally emptied it's lungs in an exhale

so passionate

that it had actually taken her own breath away

while making the little hairs on the back of her neck

cautiously dance

~~

she started to lower the dusty window shade

and

as she turned

a flicker in the street light caught her eye

~

the snow had started to fall

~

and

she knew that even if it came down

heavy

like sand being poured from a bucket

it could never fill the hole in her heart

that loneliness

had created

~~

she blew the last of the dripping candles out

and

slowly

while her hands held tight to the railing

she climbed the steep stairway

~~

her faded quilt

was rumpled into a pile of confusion

at the end of her mattress

and

for the first time

she noticed the edges had started to fray

~~

it was also at that moment

that she felt a warm hand on her boney shoulder

and

she shuddered so hard from the touch

that she actually felt the hardwood floor shift beneath her

~~

she didn't want to turn around

fearful that the touch was only her imagination

again

~

but slowly

her swan like neck

so full of questions

curved slightly

and

she could see her reflection in the bubbled glass of her bedroom window

and

as she reached up to touch her face

to confirm that she was real

there he was

~

christopher

~

the man

she had only ever been allowed to dream about

but

had always been able to love

*

when I toss and turn at night

this is what I wake up with in the morning

~

words that don't make any sense to me

words that stop too soon

words that want to be written into a story

words that scream for metaphors

~

maybe

what I wrote today

will be an excerpt in a book I'll write in the future

maybe

~

in the meantime

I'll be looking for a title and a story and a climax and an ending

~

but for now

this is all I have

*

*

I'd like to give a huge shout out to

chuck

who is a writer and an author and teases us a few times a week

with his amazing excerpts

always begging us for more

and

who obviously inspired me today

I wish...

I wish

I could show you all the hearts that touched mine on saturday

but I can't

~~

I wish

you could hear all the laughter I heard on saturday

but I can't

~~

I wish

you could see all the beautiful families I saw on saturday

but I can't

do that either

~~

so

now I hope

~~

I hope

that next year in your town

you can be involved with

help-portrait

in order to see and hear and feel all the love that surrounded us

~~

us

a bunch of strangers who gathered together to make the lives of some families

a little brighter this winter

~~

us

a bunch of strangers

who laughed and played and worked together

like we had known each other for years

~~

us

who quickly figured out

that when one of our spanish interpreters wasn't immediately

available

that a smile and a hug were always understood

~~

us

who all ended the day saying

"well, when we do this again next year"

and

"let's do something like this before next winter"

~~

us

who sit here today

still amazed by the hearts that thanked us over and over again

as

we thanked them for sharing their families with us

~~~~~

help-portrait has a privacy act for all the families photographed and we are not to use them for our own use

the day was all about them

not us

and

that's exactly the way it needs to be

~~

below is our team

at the end of our 10 hour day

~even 12 hours for some of them~

minus a few volunteers

and

when you've only had

pizza and donuts

to eat

and

coffee and mountain dew to drink

you go a little crazy

when it's your turn in front of the camera

*

today...

my heart will grow

and

change forever

~~

I just know it will

~~

today

I will give everything I have inside of me

to make sure others

smile

and

feel like a super star

*

for my non-snowed in blog loves...

no other words are needed to go with this photo

~~

well maybe

just a few

"who in california has a spare bedroom I can live in all winter"

~~

and

now I want to share with you

~if you'll let me gush a little bit~

the luck I've had lately

~

seriously

I need to buy a lottery ticket

~~

1. I won the national geographic book in this give-away

2. I won this photography journal in this give-away

and

3. I won the candle and room spray in this give-away

(but those smelly greats are still in the mail and not in this photo)

all in the last few weeks

and

the colorful handmade journal zine in the photo above

arrived

from

the warm hearted and amazingly sensitive

jennifer

~thanks sweetie~

~~

oh

and

just so you know

I never ever win anything

~~

I guess I'll have to throw that line away now

*

o holy night...

actually it was during the day

and

ended like this

but

the in between stuff

was so sweet

this little munchkin came back for her third photo shoot

~remember~

where she's supposed to be sleeping

so I can get some posed photos

~~

anyhow

this sweet baby love has decided that at my house

in my art studio turned photo studio

~kind of sort of~

she is not going to miss anything

I do or say

so instead of sleeping

we talked about christmas

and

she was amazed

when I told her that santa can actually fit down the chimney

and

then when I went into the whole rudolph and his red nose

and

how the other reindeer used to laugh at him

~~

well

she became very concerned

about how they didn't let him join in any reindeer games

then

we talked about how fast this month has been flying by

and

even though math is a little difficult for her right now

she tried really hard to count on her fingers

just how many days are actually left before

heaven and nature sing

after our session was almost done

and

she'd had enough of the pointy eared hat that I'd made her wear

and

right before her mommy wrapped her all back up

she decided to surprise me with a few lines

from

"o holy night"

in only a way a baby can

~~

gosh

I had so much with her

that I've decided that even if she never sleeps for any her photos

I will adore her just the same

*