September 16, 2008

it can't be all said at once, as my thoughts are still all over the place, jumbled

I did something spontaneous
for the first time in my life
and for that
I'm a changed person
the magic that comes from
the voice
will stay with me forever
the water brought to me
the passion I've always felt for it
but this time
with an energy
that ran through my veins
I tried to soak in everything
around me
the smells
the sounds
the air
the quiet
but mostly
never ending

this was my home
4 nights
2 of them bitterly cold
with layers and socks
a big down comforter
slept peacefully

women are amazing
we really are
this retreat
taught me to love myself
all the good parts
and especially the bad
most of all
that I can do

"heart rock"
on the way down to our dock
was a sign to me
to leave a little bit of myself
and to take home
with me
a new sense of self

if you know me
then you can see the love in my smile
as this woman
she is
crazy. beautiful . sexy. funny. safe . warm
and to have met her was a dream come true

was one of my 7 housemates
and she is precious
and drop-dead gorgeous
with a never ending smile
and amazing hair
late one afternoon
she was doing yoga on our dock
and she let me take a few shots of her
what an amazing young woman

was another housemate
soulful . quiet . kind
and makes the most amazing shirts
now I own one
thank you jess for being you

I only knew kelly
from the blogging world
but felt a connection
as she lives in indiana
can this beautiful woman
ever light up a room
I mean really
just look at her

oh heather
where do I begin
she was my roomie
a complete stranger
who I fell in love with immediately
she's soft spoken
gorgeous inside and out
she put up with me waking early
and we listened to each other
as we talked late into the nights
about life
{and she deserves her own post that will come later}

the woman who pushed me
and taunted me
to get off my butt
to be spontaneous
and come to squam
and for what she did
I will love
her forever

sweet misty
with her huge heart
beautiful in so many ways
full of love and passion
and adventure
{i'll never forget our ride on the lake by the light of the moon}
you are an amazing soul

and saying good-byes in the airport
so hard to do
I wish we had spent more time together
I loved our night where you shared our cottage
family room with us
and we had a chance to connect
this post has taken me most of my morning
but there's more to come
as I still have so much to share
more people, more stories, more photos
I don't want to forget anyone
or anything
{and are my hero}


  1. You have captured the magic, the love, the safety that was Squam. Those many beautiful faces. New friendships. An expanded world. I am wide open. Struck dumb. And you, Beth. I felt a powerful connection. xo

  2. it would not have been the same without YOU there! Seeing you there and having you there was just what I needed! ;-) thank you!
    i am so glad you did this for yourself and made the very most of it!
    thanks for sharing yourself with all of us. xoxoxo
    until our next adventure...lake or no lake. lol.

  3. oh, i can just feel what an experience it must have been. i look forward to hearing more about it. what a gift you gave to yourself!!!

  4. Oh it looks so glorious. It is terrific that you had such a moving experience. Art and nature combined with wonderful teachers, what could possibly be better!?!?!

  5. How did we not meet one another?....I wonder if our path's crossed. I am sure they did. The memories of those dear days are forever in my heart

  6. With your words you have definitely captured the spirit of Squam! How wonderful to have met you -- I so enjoyed our ride to Meredith! Let's keep in touch.


  7. Wow! It sounds like you hit the zenith of experiences! So glad for you. Looking forward to hearing more and exploring the blogs of your new friends!!!

  8. yes - you have captured it
    and shared it with us too
    what a wonderful time - and I was there with you!

    oh such joy!!!

    xox - eb.

  9. yeah for spontaneous women! i am so glad that we listened to what the universe was calling for us to do!
    it was truly an amazing time...a time in which time itself seemed to momentarily slow, so that each moment could be savored and tucked away to treasure!
    but now, as i reenter the world of here, it seems that it was over all too quickly! thank you so much for 'taking me into the fold' and helping me to feel a part of something that seems ever elusive to me...that was truly the most wondrous blessing to come from this decision to leap into the unknown and hope for the best. xoxoxo heather

  10. okay...let me try this again. it ate my last comment. so here goes.
    that image of us made me cry. i so love it. you and heather have no idea how you sent my confidence soaring. i loved talking and laughing at the book party.

    so so happy we got to see one another andi have loved getting to know you more on your blog.

    can you send me that picture. i want to put it in my studio.

    happy wednesday.

  11. so glad you came! it was a delight to meet you.


  12. This is such an amazing post, Beth. I'm so glad you had a wonderful time -- that it did not disappoint, that indeed, it exceeded all expectations. I am fortunate to have an amazing group of creative women friends who are right here and I know what that energy is. To discover it in such a beautiful place, and to realize that people you never met were just dear friends you didn't know yet is truly a gift.

  13. Thanks for your comment--I'm so glad that I can picture you saying "YES!" How funny that we shared so much without realizing it at the moment...


  14. I AM SO $%)*^$*_$ PROUD OF YOU!!!!! you DID it, beth! you DID IT!!!!!!! yes, yes, yes. and yes, you did yes you will yes. i am so freaking proud of you. and i love you. forgive me the last morning rush grumpiness when leaving the camp, i don't do well when rushed and i didn't like leaving at all. i thank you for being there, for driving us to the airport, for being with us, for being there, for being there, for being there. i just can't say it enough.
    let's do it again!!!!!!!
    sending love - x

  15. Thank you for the beautiful words and for all the fun time. Thank you for the encouragement too. It is hard to hold on to sometimes, but I am trying and the energy from Squam is still with me. The energy is easier to keep close with your beautiful blog and photographs. I am so thankful for the time we had and the blogs to keep the connection and light alive!
    Love, Jess


**I love reading the comments you leave, as they make me feel like we're sitting in my kitchen, having a cup of tea, discussing life and wondering where all the time has gone ...beth