a little lighter all over.....

there are lots of garbage bags in the garage

and

many boxes of "things"

have been taken to the our local thrift store

and

overall

I feel a few pounds lighter

~

there is now space where dust has been collecting

and

the sunlight coming in has more room to play

~

my studio is spacious now

who knew

?

and

my bedroom feels warmer and calmer

and

the kitchen feels taller

~

all

because stuff is gone

stuff that I thought I needed

stuff that I thought added life to our home

or to me

but in the end it was only

stuff

that ended up suffocating me

~

along with throwing things out

I'm guilty of adding a few things in

~

but only to my blog

{gotcha}

~

I've updated my lists

added more lists

and

even found this "following thing" that looks cute

but I'm not really sure how it works

but it shows the faces of

you

my blogging friends

if you click on it

and

who doesn't want a mosaic of their favorite people on their blog

right

?

see

that's what I thought too

~

so if you want

to see what I'm talking about

you can check out it out over there on the side

under

"no wall flowers here"

~

because

NOT

adding to my house right now is bringing a big smile to my face

but

ADDING

all of you to my blog

will bring an even bigger smile

to

my winter white pale, really dried out and in need of more moisturizer

face

:)

sit back, put your feet up and have a cup of tea....this is a long one

I had some time to think while I was in florida
~
certainly not as much as I had originally planned
but just enough
~
my mind
filled with thoughts
wandering all over the place
while staying just close enough to the safety of the shore
to prevent the tide
from washing away any of the good ones
~
the one place my mind kept going
was to a tiny place
called
change
~
and
I've decided that
when you think long enough about something
you thought was
tiny
of all of a sudden
it grows
and
it demands things
like
time and energy
which I was willing to give since I was vacation
but
had no idea how it would consume me
even once I returned home
~
so here I sit
with
~focus~
being my word for
2009
fighting with
the word
~change~
as it fills my every pore
~
so what did I do
?
I changed
a few things
~
it started yesterday
when I cleaned out drawers and closets and cabinets
and
got rid of junk in my junk drawer that wasn't even junk anymore
as it was garbage
and
clothes that I don't wear anymore because
they make me feel old
and
books that obviously someone else can enjoy as I've already read them
~
the studio came next
and
let's just say
the garbage bags were too heavy for me to even lift
and
john gave me a raised eyebrow as he hauled them away for me
~
issues and issues of "somerset" anything
disappeared too
without any feelings from me
really
do any of us go back and look through old issues of anything
?
I used to think I did or would
but I don't and it's time to be honest with myself
~
some of you might just think that I was getting a jump start
on my spring cleaning and maybe I was
but I also believe that change
has to start somewhere
and
for me it was getting rid of clutter and junk and stuff
that was suffocating me
so yes
that was all pretty much outside stuff that changed
and
a good place to start considering all the energy that had built up inside me
but
now there's some inside stuff I'm going to work on
~
inside stuff
where I need to step back and look at myself
and
decide what I really want
who I really am
what makes me really happy
and
what I really want to do
~
so I invite you to come along with me
while
I change a few things
and
where better to start than right here
on my blog
my home away from home
where I can change anything I want
at anytime
and

still
feel loved
*

ohhh...I miss you so much

it feels like forever since we've sat in the sun together

and

daydreamed

~

I know you're nice and warm

all tucked into your uggs

during the day

and

fuzzy socks at night

but

I miss you

~

your color just isn't the same this time of year

and

you're a little dried out

so I worry about you

~

hang in there

piggies

and

be brave

I promise you we'll get through another winter together

*

I don't really like facts....

I've been feeling fragile lately and I'm not really sure why

~

I'm not sure if it's the pain in my shoulder

and the fact that my physical therapist

stressed the words "a long time before you feel better" to me

at my last visit

or

the fact that winter has gotten to me again

and

I feel suffocated by the walls of antartica that surround me

or

the fact that when I go into the studio

I stand there

and

look around

and feel completely

lost

without any motivation to pick up a paint brush

or

pencils or crayons or scissors or paper or glue

~

instead I feel like the barn above

with thoughts

that at any moment

one of the support beams could be touched in just the wrong way

and

just like the barn

I would tumble down into a million little pieces

~

so I'm waiting

~

I'm wating for something different

a change

a sign

anything to let me walk in a different direction

with the sun on my face

shoulders back

head up

and

a new attitude

~

wait for it with me

will you

?

it will come

makes you stop and think, doesn't it ??

and now, if you're like me, your weekend will feel just a little bit different because hopefully you've been inspired after watching this. and really, isn't that what we're all here to do ?
to inspire and be inspired ?

how do you count ?

I was recently tagged

by

my blogging friend

meri

and

normally I don't play

~~~~~

not because I don't want to play

it's just that I usually already have a few post ideas

dancing in my head

with

photos I want to use

and

words and thoughts that are

making me smile

that will

hopefully all come together

for an interesting blog post

~~~~~

so the tagging usually

gets pushed to the side and forgotten about

this time I decided to play

~~~~~

the rules were simple

~or so I thought~

go into your picture file

select the 4th picture

in your 4th folder

write about that picture

and

tag 4 more people

~~~~~

easy

right

?

unless you're like me and ask too many questions to yourself

like

do I count my 4th folder ACROSS my picture file

or

do I count my 4th folder DOWN my picture file

because

really

you could do it either way and it might depend on things like being

right brained or left brained

or

having a little ADD

or

maybe having too many margaritas while looking at your picture file

~~~~~

ANYHOW

these are my two pictures

from going

across

AND

down

~~~~~

the first one is ummm...

an interesting plant in the prairie

at our cottage

and

the second one was during my photo shoot with my kids

when

jack decided that he'd climb a tree

for me to get a perfect shot of him

~~~~~

so if you're feeling funky today

and

want to play this game

consider yourself

TAGGED

and

play along

*

who knew ?

I think you all know how much

I love my macro

and

I had it with me the other day when I decided

I.HAD.TO.GET.OUT.AND.SHOOT

OR

I.WAS.GOING.TO.GO.NUTS

but by the time I walked down by the lake
my fingers were too frozen
to even think about changing
lenses
so I just used what was already on my camera
my 18-55mm lens

and
most of you know
that with the macro
you get fabulous blurry backgrounds
but
I didn't know I'd get the same thing
so beautifully with another lens
and
that they have a name for it
*
who knew
?

my love/hate relationship with RED

I didn't do a red journal page

because

I don't really like to paint with red paint

but

I like red paint when it's on walls

I guess when I think about it

I'm barely a red person

I don't wear red on my lips

but

I carry a red purse in the winter

and

if you looked in my closet

you wouldn't fine one red t-shirt or sweater

but

I like to write my important notes with a red marker

and

I have never worn red shoes

but

I'd love to have a pair to wear

when I'm feeling sassy

so with misty's prompt for a red page

a paint brush didn't speak to me at all

neither

did any of my pencils or oils or pastels

but

today my camera was screaming

RED

so I took my favorite little kids wicker chair

out into the snow

and

I was very happy

but

then I got inside

and

pulled the pictures up and saw

RED

and

decided I do love red

~~~~~

even more so after I've muted it a little bit

I'm an odd one

aren't I

?

I heart you....

i found this heart on the beach

acutally john spotted it first

and

now it's here at home with me sharing space

with all of my other heart shaped finds

I decided to dress her up a little bit

so that I could share her with all of you

~all of you~

who took the time to leave a comment about our abrupt return home

and

to those of you who sent personal emails to me

~there were many of you~

asking if all was okay and giving me your support

and

to even those of you who maybe didn't know what to say

but were thinking of me

~~~~~

it's amazing this blogging world of ours

where we

praise each other, share videos and stories, raise money for causes

award gifts, share the best movies to watch, books to read

and music to listen to

where

we share art that we've stayed up all night long working on,

photos of how we spent our weekends

and

send notes to check on each other if too much time has passed

between posts

~~~~~

but the one thing we get

day in and day out

no matter what

is support

the kind of support

that so often feels like a heartfelt hug

or a pat on the back

or a laugh

when whe need it the most

~~~~~

so today I give you all

a piece of my heart

and

my many thanks

for being there

mostly white, right ?

here's another page in my art journal

and

I must say

this "white" page is my favorite

~~~~~

I love color

I really do

but

when it comes to working with

colors

as in

paint

YIKES

it can scare the crap out of me

and

I have no idea why

~~~~~

so

working with "whites"

felt safe and calming to me today

and

maybe I just needed some of that right now

~~~~~

damn

I know what you're saying

okay fine

so

there's some black in there, too

but

black is also one of my favorites

actually

it's

my all time favorite

*

always watch where you're going....

no matter how much planning is involved

the path in front of you

can change instantly

~~~~~

we ended up cutting our trip short

as we were needed at home

and

we did what any parent would do

we left

florida

~~~~~

when your children are little you're there for everything

colic

pinched fingers

first steps

potty training

fevers

~~~~~

as they continue to grow

you're still there

but now for things that feel different

because they're more independent

hugs

tears

talks

understanding

~~~~~

and

sometimes

just when you think they don't need you quite as much as they used to

they need you even more than you ever imagined

yes

teenagers have a way of doing that to you

*

trying to keep up....

she's a painting maniac

that misty mawn

and

I have failed miserably in trying to keep

up with her

and

her art journaling prompts

~~~~~

she's already moved on to other colors

and

I just finished

blue

~~~~~

and

now I need a glass of wine

*

because...

today I feel purple

after

some changes in my life

~~~~~

I'll have some new words for these feelings

in a few days

here

where I always feel at home

because

of all of you
*

the warmth of light...

I know some of you have followed

the story of

"baby cedar"

for as long as I have

and

most recently

I fell in love with the way denise and boho boy

soften their surroundings

and

I decided I wanted to do the same thing in florida

for us

so

the candles are burning

and
the lights are twinkling

playing and creating

I found time today to play with misty

and

all the others that are working on self portraits

~~~~~

this is one of my big headed girls

and

it kept me IN my comfort zone

but

the next one

took me

totally OUT of my comfort zone

BUT

I actually like this one....quite a bit

and now for a little florida

I decided not to add music to this one so that you could hear the ocean and feel the wind with me....

ohhh...it's not as easy as I thought it would be...

a florida quickie...

to start the day

~~~~~

YES YES YES

that was a jelly fish

dead

and all washed up

on the beach

surrounded by a bunch

of his friends and relatives

~~~~~

can they still hurt you if they are dead or dead looking

and

laying on the beach

?

~~~~~

ALSO

you can turn any photo into an old looking

picture

by playing around here

~~~~~

just upload a picture with browse

and

then convert

and

WHA-LA

a really cool photo

~~~~~

late on the beach last night

right around sunset

I caught these surfers

waiting

and

then they took off

and

made me smile

~~~~~

they didn't care that the flags meant

no surfing

or

that the water was only 62 degrees

or

that there were dead jelly fish on the beach

~~~~~

instead

they were living in the moment

~~~~~

I raise my glass to you

"let's all live in the moment"

*

another day of smiling...

if you like this old black and white

technique

let me know

you can do it, too....in only ONE step !!

YES YES YES
even on vacation
I'm playing with layers


this was the sunset we saw tonight
*sigh*

after walking through this boardwalk

and

then there's this

my only completely untouched photo

from my afternoon walk on the beach

~~~~~

do you know what it is

?

as good as it gets.....and it's really that good !!

I just couldn't help myself

I

had to play in the rocks

this morning

on our walk

to show you

how big my heart gets

when I'm in

seaside

florida

~~~~~

you were probably expecting

a beautiful shot

of the ocean

weren't you

?

maybe tomorrow

and

is sophie having fun here

you ask

?

she is loving every minute of it

~~~~~

the seaside community is

very dog friendly

and

she can go everywhere with us

inside/outside

24/7

~~~~~

this afternoon we sat outside at a little french eatery

and

while we

dined on quiche and crab cakes

they brought her a big bowl

of cold water

just because they love dogs

~~~~~

come on

really

does it get any better

?

~~~~~

completely addicted and still learning so much.....

layers

layers

layers

I love them

I hate them

and

I can't stay away from them

~~~~~

it's amazing how photo editing has wrapped itself

around me and won't let go

and

I'll say it again

I used to curse those who were using digital anything to

change or enhance their photos

and

now I'm one of them

~~~~~

don't hate me

I know......I know......

this picture is from last year

so

for some of you

you've already seen it

but

come on

you know it's worth a second look

right

?

~~~~~

last year

with our

100 plus inches of snow

we fed the deer

lots

~~~~~

they would eat the birdseed

in a matter of seconds

so

we decided to give them

their own

HUGE

bowl of corn

and

they loved us as much as we loved them

~~~~~

but

we were also told

NOT

to feed the deer

as it's considered

"baiting"

and

if we got caught we'd be paying a huge fine

~~~~~

so what did we do

?

we kept feeding them

~~~~~

we're

REBEL'S

I tell you

~~~~~

this year

thankfully

the snow has come and gone

enough

so

that we aren't worried at all about the deer

~~~~~

but

believe me

if we get blasted again like last year

and my heart aches for my 4 legged friends

the smorgasbord

will magically appear once again

art journaling in the new year...

I have to admit that I have been very bad

with

my art journaling

~~~~~

but there might be hope for me yet

as

misty is working her magic

and

asking us to join her in a

page a day

of

art journaling

~~~~~

well

I know myself well enough to laugh

at the page a day idea

BUT

I know I can do some pages

during the month

of

january

in

order to play along with all the others

~~~~~

so

ta~da

here is page

numero uno

~~~~~

okay

so it's probably not really a page

as

I think it's going to be the cover

to all the pages I painted last night

~~~~~

but

at this point

who needs to be that specific

when it comes to art

anyway

right

?

and a new year begins....

{edited}

as I have already changed my word

because

isn't that what women do

~~~~~

last year

instead of resolutions

I picked one word

to live by

for the entire year

and

that word was

"see"

~~~~~

and

interesting to me

last year was the year

that

photography

took over a huge part of my life

and if

photography and "see"

don't go

hand in hand

with each other

I don't know what does

~~~~~

so this year

my word

is

"focus"

~~~~~

you might think

see and focus

are a little bit the same

~~~~~

at first

I did

too

but now I see

two very different

words

and

no other word felt right for the choosing

~~~~~

last year

digital photography

became big

bigger than big

~~~~~

and

to be honest with you

I hated it

and

said bad things about the pictures

while thinking

how can you compare an untouched photo to a photo

that's been digitally altered

~~~~~

well

now I'm biting my tongue

as I have

fallen in love with photo edtiting

well

maybe even more along the lines

of even needing a support group

"hi, my name is beth"

"I have a problem"

~~~~~

I really can't stop

"playing"

with my photos

and when I'm done

I do a happy dance

and

smile

at all the fun I just had

~~~~~

and

the picture above

well

it's my most favorite yummy one

that I've done so far

~~~~~

what

is your word for

2009

?

~~~~~