I had some time to think while I was in florida
~
certainly not as much as I had originally planned
but just enough
~
my mind
filled with thoughts
wandering all over the place
while staying just close enough to the safety of the shore
to prevent the tide
from washing away any of the good ones
~
the one place my mind kept going
was to a tiny place
called
change
~
and
I've decided that
when you think long enough about something
you thought was
tiny
of all of a sudden
it grows
and
it demands things
like
time and energy
which I was willing to give since I was vacation
but
had no idea how it would consume me
even once I returned home
~
so here I sit
with
~focus~
being my word for
2009
fighting with
the word
~change~
as it fills my every pore
~
so what did I do
?
I changed
a few things
~
it started yesterday
when I cleaned out drawers and closets and cabinets
and
got rid of junk in my junk drawer that wasn't even junk anymore
as it was garbage
and
clothes that I don't wear anymore because
they make me feel old
and
books that obviously someone else can enjoy as I've already read them
~
the studio came next
and
let's just say
the garbage bags were too heavy for me to even lift
and
john gave me a raised eyebrow as he hauled them away for me
~
issues and issues of "somerset" anything
disappeared too
without any feelings from me
really
do any of us go back and look through old issues of anything
?
I used to think I did or would
but I don't and it's time to be honest with myself
~
some of you might just think that I was getting a jump start
on my spring cleaning and maybe I was
but I also believe that change
has to start somewhere
and
for me it was getting rid of clutter and junk and stuff
that was suffocating me
so yes
that was all pretty much outside stuff that changed
and
a good place to start considering all the energy that had built up inside me
but
now there's some inside stuff I'm going to work on
~
inside stuff
where I need to step back and look at myself
and
decide what I really want
who I really am
what makes me really happy
and
what I really want to do
~
so I invite you to come along with me
while
I change a few things
and
where better to start than right here
on my blog
my home away from home
where I can change anything I want
at anytime
and
~
certainly not as much as I had originally planned
but just enough
~
my mind
filled with thoughts
wandering all over the place
while staying just close enough to the safety of the shore
to prevent the tide
from washing away any of the good ones
~
the one place my mind kept going
was to a tiny place
called
change
~
and
I've decided that
when you think long enough about something
you thought was
tiny
of all of a sudden
it grows
and
it demands things
like
time and energy
which I was willing to give since I was vacation
but
had no idea how it would consume me
even once I returned home
~
so here I sit
with
~focus~
being my word for
2009
fighting with
the word
~change~
as it fills my every pore
~
so what did I do
?
I changed
a few things
~
it started yesterday
when I cleaned out drawers and closets and cabinets
and
got rid of junk in my junk drawer that wasn't even junk anymore
as it was garbage
and
clothes that I don't wear anymore because
they make me feel old
and
books that obviously someone else can enjoy as I've already read them
~
the studio came next
and
let's just say
the garbage bags were too heavy for me to even lift
and
john gave me a raised eyebrow as he hauled them away for me
~
issues and issues of "somerset" anything
disappeared too
without any feelings from me
really
do any of us go back and look through old issues of anything
?
I used to think I did or would
but I don't and it's time to be honest with myself
~
some of you might just think that I was getting a jump start
on my spring cleaning and maybe I was
but I also believe that change
has to start somewhere
and
for me it was getting rid of clutter and junk and stuff
that was suffocating me
so yes
that was all pretty much outside stuff that changed
and
a good place to start considering all the energy that had built up inside me
but
now there's some inside stuff I'm going to work on
~
inside stuff
where I need to step back and look at myself
and
decide what I really want
who I really am
what makes me really happy
and
what I really want to do
~
so I invite you to come along with me
while
I change a few things
and
where better to start than right here
on my blog
my home away from home
where I can change anything I want
at anytime
and
still
feel loved
*
feel loved
*
I seem to be trying to make a lot of changes lately too. Sometimes even small ones can make a big difference in my outlook!
ReplyDeletebeth
ReplyDeletei
love
it
....
change
is
o
k
....
yes
let
us
have
lunch
i hear you...i'm switching things up around here to, starting with closets and hairdo. kt
ReplyDeleteThere must be something in the air. I've been winnowing through my life and making changes. Cleaning out old drawers and closets--one big project per weekend--it makes me feel lighter and ready for something.
ReplyDeleteahhh, i love the fresh air here! i love coming here and feeling heard & understood! thank you! and i know just the feeling of letting things go to clear the space for better things (and those things are not always "things" ) !
ReplyDeleteooxoo
yes you are loved!!!!!!!!!
This is the surest sign that you're on the cusp of enormous growth. You're making huge amounts of space, both physically and psychic-ly for some great new thing to come into your life. I can't wait to find out what it is!
ReplyDeleteBeth this post is awesome. You are right- change has to start somewhere. I am anxious to see what changes you have in store for yourself!
ReplyDelete~Patti
Look out world - Beth's on her way to something BIG. And we know she has room for it now! ;)
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like your listening to your inner you and following your inspirations. You deserve a pat on the back.
Beth, I love that line, "my home away from home where I can change anything I want at any time and still feel loved." You are loved.
ReplyDeleteBut, my heart did skip a beat or two when I read that you were throwing out old magazines. I am SUCH a magazine junkie. I have piles and piles. I have half the pile I used to, but still PILES. And, no. I never go back to them. Still. I can not get rid of them. Yet.
I too wait for that surge to come..it doesn't come very often but when it does, wow! It's amazing to be in that place, even if for just a moment, where you can easily let go of all those things.
ReplyDeleteI have the desperate need to purge the clutter & junk from my life as well. It feels wonderful, doesn't it? :)
ReplyDeleteWow. Just wow. This is beautiful (and of course since I read the newer one first, makes it even clearer!)
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more that clearning (that's not a typo -- it's cleaning AND clearing) out "things" will help you clearn out your life as well. But you are so wise (and, I might add, industrious) in implementing that mission!
But oh, those magazines. (And I do go back to mine -- though I'll admit, not often enough. I felt brave to give away a dozen old cooking mags last week... )