the artist in me....

did you know that i used to call myself an artist

well, i would say "i'm an artist" while coughing into my hand in hopes that the person asking me what i did, wouldn't ask anymore questions.

did you know that today it's really hard for me to call myself a photographer

without doing the same coughing gesture, or at least clearing my throat and then looking away.

why is it hard for some of us, some of the time, to be really proud of what we do.

to be able to say, blatantly....."I am a__________" 

personally for me, i think it's about comparison. 

i think we're all guilty of it, at least a little bit. no matter how hard we try.

i love to look at other photography blogs and websites 

 and find the inspiration i get from them, priceless.

but what else happens.....photography envy. 

which then turns into photography critiquing of my own work, while all the thoughts of not ever being as good as they are come spilling over me.

and

i hate it when that happens.

so last night, as i was guilty of feeling that way, i went through some old photos i hadn't edited, put on my artists apron {well not physically but you know what i mean} and pulled out all my colors and paint brushing techniques on my computer and played for an hour. it felt so good.

so today

i'm not comparing myself to anyone

because 

well, when you think about it...what a waste of time that is.

~

time that i could be using practicing saying

"i'm a photographer. well actually a natural light photographer"

with hopes that none of my body parts all of a sudden has the urge to develop a nervous tic

*

hey friends

who i totally adore for coming to my little corner of the world

have the best LONG weekend ever

i mean it

*