the way...

sometimes I think everything has changed

~~

my thoughts

my ideas

my dreams

my likes

my dislikes

the way I like to be touched

the way I like to eat an oreo

my plans for the future

the way I need to be held

the way I like to dress

the way I put on my mascara

the books I want to read

the words I need to write

the way my bangs fall in my eyes

the way I want to be talked to

the way I need to be kissed

~~

and

then I wake up

and

the walls and my bedding and what appears to be a beehive on top of my head

are all the same

~~

I look in the mirror and I see me

but

it's not the me from last night

after my face was washed and my teeth were brushed

or is it

~~

I feel different

but I look the same

~~

I get dressed and my jeans fit tight to my hips just the way they did yesterday

and

my t-shirt curves around my breasts and I turn sideways and smile

I get close to the mirror

and

like how my lips look kind of pouty

even while bare

~~

I make a cup of almond vanilla tea

just the way I have done everyday for as long as I can remember

and

carry it to my office where my computer awaits me

and

I write

~~

I write for me

I write for you

I write about all the things that I am and all the things that I want to be

and

all the things that I want to do and all the things that I see

~~

so

today I am loved

and

so badly wanting to be a better writer

and

hoping to take pictures in an orphanage in africa someday

all

while seeing and actually liking

the person looking back at me in the mirror

*