not a happy camper...

sorry about the little peep show

but

 it's the only way I can show you why I didn't dance at my self induced pity party

yesterday

~~

let's go back a bit in time 

shall we

?

I was a sun worshiper for years and years

especially when we lived in st. louis and north carolina 

~~

okay

indiana, too

~~

in all of those states

we lived in pool and tennis community neighborhoods

where my days started and ended poolside

while my children

covered head to toe with sunscreen 

would play for hours

and

where I

believing I had a little super human in me

would only

apply sunscreen to my nose and the tips of my ears

and

then sit for hours and bake

because 

I thought a tan made me look sexy

~~

guess what

?

not so sexy after all

~~

at my dermatologist's office

yesterday morning

when I pointed out the two spots on my chest that seemed a little "strange"

I was instantly on my back while a needle was numbing my skin

so that biopsies could be taken

~~

as I laid there

I heard her say

results

basal cell

 surgery

clean margins

stitches

~~

and

then all of a sudden I was outside 

staring at the sun that I love

that I haven't worshiped for eight years

thinking 

"damn"

"why did I have to be so vain"

?

~~

so now I wait

for results

~~

and

while I wait

I'll act as a giant blogging billboard

which reads

~~

go out and buy yourself some 50 plus sunscreen today 

and 

apply it everywhere on your sweet little bodies

every time you leave the house

because 

tans come and go

but

scars last a lifetime

*